SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
05-07-21, 01:58 PM | #2971 |
Ocean Warrior
|
|
05-08-21, 05:49 AM | #2972 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm okay.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-08-21, 06:00 AM | #2973 |
Fleet Admiral
|
Wife: You have to do more chores around the house!
me: Can you change the subject? Wife: More of the chores around the house need to be done by you.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-08-21, 12:49 PM | #2974 |
Chief of the Boat
|
A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-08-21, 12:50 PM | #2975 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-08-21, 01:24 PM | #2976 |
Village Idiot
|
I managed to clone myself, but something went wrong.
My clone would repeatedly stick his head out the fourth-story window, and curse at people below. I was at a loss, and deeply embarrassed by My clone's behavior. After two weeks of pleading and threatening My clone, I saw no other alternative than to push the clone out the window. Within an hour, I was arrested! I was charged with making an obscene clone fall. |
05-08-21, 01:25 PM | #2977 |
Village Idiot
|
Telling a person to calm down is about like baptizing a cat.
---------- I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time! ---------- I have kleptomania. When it gets bad I take something for it. |
05-08-21, 05:17 PM | #2978 | ||
Fleet Admiral
|
Quote:
Quote:
Another one so nice we post it twice.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
||
05-08-21, 07:13 PM | #2979 |
Village Idiot
|
A recent trip by Explorers to the Titanic wreck site confirmed that all the pools are still full of water.
---------- A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. "In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough.The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, " he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared." (At this point, several of the children giggle.) "I looked up, and right above me was one of them! I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me." At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company". "That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts." |
05-09-21, 09:09 AM | #2980 |
Admiral
|
^I like that one.
__________________
|
05-09-21, 12:02 PM | #2981 |
Village Idiot
|
World War II is in full force, and a Japanese plane and an american plane both crash after a dogfight on a deserted jungle island.
The American pilot and Japanese pilot meet on the beach and figure they'll call a truce until they're rescued. "Alright" says the American. "I'll get the fire going." Then tells the Japanese pilot to go into the forest and handle the supplies. Time passes, and soon a roaring signal fire is going, but the sun is starting to go down and the Japanese pilot is nowhere to be found. Not wanting to be down a man in their situation, the American ventures into the woods to look for him. He searches for many hours then decides to head back to camp and to continue the search tomorrow. As he gets back to camp, the Japanese pilot jumps out from behind a rock and yells "SUPPLIES!!!" |
05-09-21, 12:15 PM | #2982 |
Gefallen Engel U-666
|
^ She actually leapt out; ripped open her pilots tunic; and shrieked Nipponese!
__________________
"Only two things are infinite; The Universe and human squirrelyness; and I'm not too sure about the Universe" |
05-09-21, 12:33 PM | #2983 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I tried to catch fog yesterday, mist.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-09-21, 12:34 PM | #2984 |
Chief of the Boat
|
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-11-21, 06:45 AM | #2985 |
Chief of the Boat
|
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
|
|