This Is Why I Don't Date Girls...

[iambecomelife]

First off, I am sorry for your experience. Don't dwell on it - consider it water under the bridge and a learning experience. You learned how deceptive some women can be, even if they try to hide it with a "nice", "shy" exterior. And in the future, these mind games will not work on you. Good job calling them out on their behavior.

Dating in this decade is completely different from what it was like for our parents. Or even for our older brothers and sisters. It's a lot harder out there.

My mom & dad grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone; people naturally paired off thru church/high school at 19 or 20, & then got married. No internet or social media. These days? You are competing with Tinder, Bumble, Match, a girl's social media followers, etc etc. Even an average woman may have hundreds of clingy men "simping" & desperate for her attention online.

My theory is that this whole thing was, in fact, about attention. The girl and her friend were seeking attention/validation from you. Once they got that ego boost, they had what they wanted. Don't feel ashamed. It says nothing about your value as a young man; it DOES say a lot about their lack of character.

"These two females are just a couple of nerds having fun yanking your chain " - EXACTLY.

I strongly recommend that you seek out youtube channels devoted to young men's issues and dating for men. There you can learn about female psychology, relationship red flags, how to cut out women who lead you on, and how to protect yourself as a man from modern dating pitfalls. These can range from merely embarrassing (harsh rejections, mean rumors) to extremely serious (baby traps, false abuse accusations, etc.)

There are no guarantees of course. This is not "magic" "pickup artist" stuff. What dating commenters CAN do is give psychiatric & self improvement techniques beneficial to you in the dating world and beyond.

By learning HOW to date instead of "winging it" I was able to date a woman I would have never approached & considered "out of my league" when I was younger. This did not come naturally to me. But now, I know to keep things in perspective, and to learn from each encounter I have.

[Buddahaid]

Punching above your weight?

[iambecomelife]

Originally Posted by Buddahaid

Punching above your weight?

Not sure I follow.

Also to El Whacko, good idea to save the messages. There is no telling how these young ladies will mischaracterize what happened. They've already proven that they are dishonest. When it comes to dating, certain people can be very vindictive. It seems like you're doing a good job de-escalating, disengaging, and making sure you have the facts straight about what they did. I would gently advise you not make any more angry comments to them, even if they deserve them.

[iambecomelife]

One more thing; I would also recommend Reddit "Relationships" forum. Of course take the advice with a grain of salt.. after all, most Reddit posters aren't experts. But there is good advice there sometimes. And I've noticed in recent years there's been a trend there toward holding BOTH genders accountable for bad behavior, instead of viewing one gender as "victims".

[Texas Red]

Originally Posted by iambecomelife

Not sure I follow.

Also to El Whacko, good idea to save the messages. There is no telling how these young ladies will mischaracterize what happened. They've already proven that they are dishonest. When it comes to dating, certain people can be very vindictive. It seems like you're doing a good job de-escalating, disengaging, and making sure you have the facts straight about what they did. I would gently advise you not make any more angry comments to them, even if they deserve them.

Yeah, I have three backups of the pictures in case i delete the ones on my phone on accident. When I told S that i was leaving and giving up. She realized the gravity of what she just said, or she was hoping she could remove me before i got any screenshots so she could cook up some lie, she said “Not if i remove you first” (This was on snapchat btw). She removed me and i still had access to the chat so i took as many screenshots as possible. Then not even like 10 seconds late S added me back just to see if i had left, lol.

Originally Posted by iambecomelife

First off, I am sorry for your experience. Don't dwell on it - consider it water under the bridge and a learning experience. You learned how deceptive some women can be, even if they try to hide it with a "nice", "shy" exterior. And in the future, these mind games will not work on you. Good job calling them out on their behavior.

Dating in this decade is completely different from what it was like for our parents. Or even for our older brothers and sisters. It's a lot harder out there.

My mom & dad grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone; people naturally paired off thru church/high school at 19 or 20, & then got married. No internet or social media. These days? You are competing with Tinder, Bumble, Match, a girl's social media followers, etc etc. Even an average woman may have hundreds of clingy men "simping" & desperate for her attention online.

My theory is that this whole thing was, in fact, about attention. The girl and her friend were seeking attention/validation from you. Once they got that ego boost, they had what they wanted. Don't feel ashamed. It says nothing about your value as a young man; it DOES say a lot about their lack of character.

"These two females are just a couple of nerds having fun yanking your chain " - EXACTLY.

I strongly recommend that you seek out youtube channels devoted to young men's issues and dating for men. There you can learn about female psychology, relationship red flags, how to cut out women who lead you on, and how to protect yourself as a man from modern dating pitfalls. These can range from merely embarrassing (harsh rejections, mean rumors) to extremely serious (baby traps, false abuse accusations, etc.)

There are no guarantees of course. This is not "magic" "pickup artist" stuff. What dating commenters CAN do is give psychiatric & self improvement techniques beneficial to you in the dating world and beyond.

By learning HOW to date instead of "winging it" I was able to date a woman I would have never approached & considered "out of my league" when I was younger. This did not come naturally to me. But now, I know to keep things in perspective, and to learn from each encounter I have.

Yeah it is certainly different. The stuff you mentioned for sure plays a big factor into dating these days. Dating back in the day used to be not as competitive, lol. Tbh i also think they have enough attention, they both have pretty active social lives, with only women of course, but not with men. What angers me beyond words is when women accuse a man of abusing them or sexual assault with no evidence and the man immediately goes to jail. Nobody stands up for the man, nobody has ever thought of women doing stuff like that. But it happens and women usually get away with it. Like the thing with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, Amber made false claims and Johnny paid the full price for it and now Amber is getting praise for it. But God will judge Amber and punish her in someway, no sin goes unpunished. I will definitely try to see what relationship advice i can use too.

Originally Posted by iambecomelife

One more thing; I would also recommend Reddit "Relationships" forum. Of course take the advice with a grain of salt.. after all, most Reddit posters aren't experts. But there is good advice there sometimes. And I've noticed in recent years there's been a trend there toward holding BOTH genders accountable for bad behavior, instead of viewing one gender as "victims".

I’ll take a look soon, thanks for your comments!

[Jeff-Groves]

Your sounding like your obsessing over this.


1st stage of a stalker is to obsess over a wished for.

You got played and can't seem to get over it and look for advice that you clearly are not taking.
Your still talking about the same people that played you and in round about ways?
Talking revenge.

Not good.

[em2nought]

This thread makes me want to watch some Archie Bunker.

[Texas Red]

Originally Posted by Jeff-Groves

Your sounding like your obsessing over this.


1st stage of a stalker is to obsess over a wished for.

You got played and can't seem to get over it and look for advice that you clearly are not taking.
Your still talking about the same people that played you and in roundabout ways?
Talking revenge.

Not good.

What? no i'm not obessed. Im just replying to what people are saying. im just fine, literally I am. If i was obessed Im sure it would be much more obvious than this, im not obessed. If I was obessed im sure that I would have done something off the charts by now. Im not talking revenge, Im not gonna do that since I don't feel all that hurt. Plus I don't really feel much hatred right now about the situation. I don't care anymore for what they did.

They have moved on and so have I.

Period.