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SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
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#1291 |
Chief of the Boat
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“Mom, don't get alarmed, but I’m at the hospital.”
“Son, please. You’ve been a surgeon there for 8 years now. Can we start our phone calls differently?”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1292 |
Chief of the Boat
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An eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?”
“Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1293 |
Chief of the Boat
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In a boutique:
Could I try the dress in the shop window, please? I’m sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1294 | |
Fleet Admiral
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72.36% of statistics used on the Internets Tubes have false precision
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#1295 |
Chief of the Boat
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Mother: Eat your bread.
Child: I don’t like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread. Mother: So you become big and strong. Child: Why do I have to become big and strong? Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family. Child: But I don’t like bread!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1296 |
Chief of the Boat
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A guy calls the fire department and yells excitedly: “You have to come, now, there’s a fire!”
“OK sir, but please tell us how do we get to you.” The man asks, puzzled: “What, you don’t have them big red trucks anymore?”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1297 |
Chief of the Boat
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Life Hack:
If you’re tired of waiting at a restaurant, just call their number and ask if they also deliver to table 16.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1298 |
Chief of the Boat
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Hello doctor, can you look at my laptop?
Why? It looks like it caught a virus.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1299 |
Chief of the Boat
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Paul to Jane: Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Jane: That’s a bit direct. Can’t you come up with something more beautiful? Paul: I tried, but they didn’t want to.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1300 |
Chief of the Boat
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The local minister sees that every morning, some apples on his tree are missing. He makes a sign:
God sees everything. The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he’s not a snitch.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1301 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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"There is no irish border. There is a british border in Ireland.
Ireland's border is the sea."
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
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#1302 |
Chief of the Boat
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A man goes to the doctor and says, ‘Doctor, I poop every morning at seven. What should I do?’. The doctor tells him not to worry, that most people would love to be that regular.
‘But wait’, the man says, ‘I wake up at 7:30….’
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1303 |
Chief of the Boat
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An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his cell phone.
"Honey," she says in a worried voice, "please be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the highway." "Oh it's worse than that," he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1304 |
Chief of the Boat
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Two clairvoyants meet. One says to the other: “You are fine, and how am I?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#1305 |
Chief of the Boat
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Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.”
“Oh no, how long have you been friends?” “Since two days ago.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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