are parents overprotective?

[Commander Wallace]

This is a difficult question to answer. Like most here, I was independent and either biked, walked or jumped on a bus and went whenever I wanted when I was a kid. Some of my best memories were the baseball / softball and football games the boys and girls in the neighborhood played. The owner of the field left it undeveloped for the kids in the neighborhood. It was as great a time as it was innocent. A number of us later on would play Ice Hockey on a small frozen pond. They were such great times.

We as adults tend to look at the problems of teens and dismiss them from our own perspective as being small matters. After all, what do kids know of paying a mortgage and the like ? What is forgotten is, although teens problems may seem small by comparison, so is their ability to deal effectively with their problems. Kids can be pretty cruel to their classmates if they develop faster than their peers they go to school with. I think kids today face challenges most here never had to deal with.

Markus / Mapuc with regards to his gifted niece and I think fireftr18, mentioned something similar in past posts here in the forum. The truth is, with the availability of drugs and bullying and peer pressure, both in school and out and social media bullying as well, parents are having a hard time keeping their children safe and on an even keel. Even worse is when these same precious kids sadly take their own lives from an inability to deal with everything being thrown at them. Inevitably , parents will forever blame themselves for not seeing the " signs " or not being able to help their children through a difficult time.


I think social media conspires against our kids and is generally more harmful to kids than helpful. I think if parents today recognize that and have an honest and open dialog with their children, it will go a long way toward fostering self esteem in these kids which will protect them to a degree from the Ills of society. If kids have understanding and acceptance at home, they will be less likely to look for it outside the home from " destructive influences "

The problem is, households today usually have both parents working just to make ends meet. The point is, parents today have so much working against them with regards to raising their children safely.

[AVGWarhawk]

I had lots of fun with tennis balls, tennis ball cans and lighter fluid. Yes, I spent all day with my buds. I used my bike to get everywhere as well as a skate board. Came home only when I heard the bell my mom would ring when dinner was ready.


As far as drugs, alcohol and bullies...we had them all in the 80's (when I was a teenager). All three were available at any given time. Yet, a majority did keep on even keel. Sure, some of the students in my school did get in very deep trouble with the vices. Accidents that killed(DUI) and other injuries from doing just stupid things.

Social media IMO only has helped other see what has been going on for a long time.

[Betonov]

At least in my area they're not.
Playing outside, walking around the neighbour houses to play with their dogs, bringing said neighbours dogs to their own houses to play with them, soap box derbies down the hill so I have to drive like an idiot that I don't hit anyone and my dog that chases them, digging trough my compost pile like it's a sandbox, archery and airsoft...

And nobody dies

[Commander Wallace]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

I had lots of fun with tennis balls, tennis ball cans and lighter fluid. Yes, I spent all day with my buds. I used my bike to get everywhere as well as a skate board. Came home only when I heard the bell my mom would ring when dinner was ready.


As far as drugs, alcohol and bullies...we had them all in the 80's (when I was a teenager). All three were available at any given time. Yet, a majority did keep on even keel. Sure, some of the students in my school did get in very deep trouble with the vices. Accidents that killed(DUI) and other injuries from doing just stupid things.

Social media IMO only has helped other see what has been going on for a long time.

You may well be right with regards to bullies existing and drugs and alcohol being available back in the 80's and even further back. However, in going home, most had a safe haven from the outside world and I hope everyone had that. Through social media however, kids can be bullied and attacked In the relative safety in their own homes. That's where I think the current generation and ours differ.

The real tragedy is the incredible number of kids taking their own lives over what we as adults consider to be trivial matters. It's not trivial to these kids though and their losses are real, especially to their families and loved ones.


By the way, we did the same thing with beer cans taped together or pipes and tennis balls too. We were so dumb.

[August]

Originally Posted by Commander Wallace

You may well be right with regards to bullies existing and drugs and alcohol being available back in the 80's and even further back. However, in going home, most had a safe haven from the outside world and I hope everyone had that. Through social media however, kids can be bullied and attacked In the relative safety in their own homes. That's where I think the current generation and ours differ.

Kids homes weren't all that safe back then, we just think they were because we didn't have every incident of child abuse no matter how small broadcasted nationally, nor were common time tested parental discipline methods like a good spanking for example considered to be acts of child abuse like they are now.

The real tragedy is the incredible number of kids taking their own lives over what we as adults consider to be trivial matters. It's not trivial to these kids though and their losses are real, especially to their families and loved ones.

Tragic yes but it is something that society perpetuates when we fail to prepare our children for the slings and arrows of life. Our motto used to be: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". This has now has morphed into "Names alone hurt me enough to demand criminal and legal action when someone calls me one that I don't like". And we wonder why so many wilt under a little pressure.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Commander Wallace

You may well be right with regards to bullies existing and drugs and alcohol being available back in the 80's and even further back. However, in going home, most had a safe haven from the outside world and I hope everyone had that. Through social media however, kids can be bullied and attacked In the relative safety in their own homes. That's where I think the current generation and ours differ.

The real tragedy is the incredible number of kids taking their own lives over what we as adults consider to be trivial matters. It's not trivial to these kids though and their losses are real, especially to their families and loved ones.


By the way, we did the same thing with beer cans taped together or pipes and tennis balls too. We were so dumb.

Parents need to step in with social media. My wife and I monitored what our daughters were up to on the internet. There was a time limit for using the internet a well. Referring back to my earlier post parents currenlty treat their kids like adults and fully expect adult like choices. It is not the case as we see. I do not blame social media. I blame the parents that do not monitor their kids. And that is on both ends. Parents of kids who doing the bully crap and parents of the kids getting bullied. As far as taking of own lives, it happened in the 80's as well. I recall one incident my freshman year in college. A student entered her dorm room. As her room mate watched she took her desk chair to the window, stepped up on the chair and stepped out the window. Seven stories.

Tennis ball cannons!!

[Commander Wallace]

Originally Posted by August

Kids homes weren't all that safe back then, we just think they were because we didn't have every incident of child abuse no matter how small broadcasted nationally, nor were common time tested parental discipline methods like a good spanking for example considered to be acts of child abuse like they are now.

Tragic yes but it is something that society perpetuates when we fail to prepare our children for the slings and arrows of life. Our motto used to be: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". This has now has morphed into "Names alone hurt me enough to demand criminal and legal action when someone calls me one that I don't like". And we wonder why so many wilt under a little pressure.

There is probably a lot of truth there as well. As complicated as some of the issues are and parents not having a lot in the way of an instruction manual, It's amazing most do as well as they do.

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Parents need to step in with social media. My wife and I monitored what our daughters were up to on the internet. There was a time limit for using the internet a well. Referring back to my earlier post parents currenlty treat their kids like adults and fully expect adult like choices. It is not the case as we see. I do not blame social media. I blame the parents that do not monitor their kids. And that is on both ends. Parents of kids who doing the bully crap and parents of the kids getting bullied. As far as taking of own lives, it happened in the 80's as well. I recall one incident my freshman year in college. A student entered her dorm room. As her room mate watched she took her desk chair to the window, stepped up on the chair and stepped out the window. Seven stories.

Tennis ball cannons!!

You and your wife are / were good parents and active in your kids lives so kudos to you both. In reading some posts from fireftr18 and others, I'm sure there are other parents here who take the same precautions and active in the kids lives as well. Not all kids have that because of both parents holding down jobs among other reasons.

I'm not sure what the answer is but you, Aktung, August and others have provided some good and interesting counterpoints. I'm sorry about the young woman at your college. Unfortunately, I think we all have similar stories. I know I do.



Tennis ball cannons !!

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Commander Wallace

The problem is, households today usually have both parents working just to make ends meet. The point is, parents today have so much working against them with regards to raising their children safely.

I agree that does play a large part. Some kids are just left to their own devices. Some parents do not parent but see their kids as grown adults and will make the right decisions. That is the first mistake.