The joke thread - Page 471

Jimbuna · 12-10-14, 07:42 AM

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two five-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Adam," replied the second.

"My daddy is a doctor. What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Joshua.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.

BossMark · 12-10-14, 09:23 AM

I for one am all for helping the police in their search for Madeleine McCann and think it is great that a team of them are going back to Portugal to help look for her.

In fact I even helped them carry their golf clubs to check in.

Jimbuna · 12-11-14, 08:54 AM

BBC News - Women set to be allowed to serve combat roles on the front line.

I think you will find it's spelt "Rolls"

BossMark · 12-11-14, 09:14 AM

I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.

Jimbuna · 12-11-14, 09:21 AM

I will be watching Santa's journey on Norad's website very carefully this year.

If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I'm bricking the chimney up.

BossMark · 12-11-14, 09:33 AM

Antiques.

They don't make 'em like they used to.

Jimbuna · 12-11-14, 10:07 AM

A British Airways flight was forced to return to Heathrow after "a loud bang" was heard by residents on the flight path.

Gemma Collins said " I really should look where I'm walking and not at the sky, I will pay for the Land Rover to be fixed"

BossMark · 12-11-14, 10:41 AM

In the news: Former DJ Ray Teret has been jailed for 25 years for a series of rapes and indecent assaults on girls as young as 12.

On hearing this some people said,'How could he be so evil'

Other said, 'Hanging is too good for him'.

But most people said, 'Who the hell is Ray Teret?'

Jimbuna · 12-11-14, 01:58 PM

BBC News: UK table no-fly zone plan at UN.

They have this big can of spray and large rolled up newspaper.

BossMark · 12-12-14, 06:36 AM

My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday.

Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive.

Jimbuna · 12-12-14, 07:33 AM

So there I was at work, quietly reading the newspaper while having a crap, when my boss comes storming in and screams that I'm fired!

I got such a shock I almost fell off his desk.

BossMark · 12-12-14, 07:46 AM

If I was Rolf Harris, I would insist on a retrial..

In South Africa.

Jimbuna · 12-12-14, 08:37 AM

I had just hung up my phone on the bus this morning when I got a tap on the shoulder, "Excuse me," said a teenage girl dressed in her school uniform, "I wonder if you could settle an argument for us? Me and my friend just overheard your phone ringing just then and I'm pretty sure it was Beyoncé, but my friend is adamant it was Rihanna..."

I said, "You're both wrong, it was my mum."

BossMark · 12-12-14, 08:59 AM

Russell Brand deserves recognition for his contributions to comedy, literature, fashion, politics and philosophy. I'm hoping he'll soon get a title.

Preferably "The Late".

Jimbuna · 12-12-14, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossMark

Russell Brand deserves recognition for his contributions to comedy, literature, fashion, politics and philosophy. I'm hoping he'll soon get a title.

Preferably "The Late".

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/show...postcount=3658

12-10-14, 07:42 AM	#7051
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two five-year-old boys were getting acquainted. "My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Adam," replied the second. "My daddy is a doctor. What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua. Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Joshua. "No, just the regular kind," replied Adam. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-10-14, 09:23 AM	#7052
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	I for one am all for helping the police in their search for Madeleine McCann and think it is great that a team of them are going back to Portugal to help look for her. In fact I even helped them carry their golf clubs to check in. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-11-14, 08:54 AM	#7053
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	BBC News - Women set to be allowed to serve combat roles on the front line. I think you will find it's spelt "Rolls" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-11-14, 09:14 AM	#7054
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-11-14, 09:21 AM	#7055
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I will be watching Santa's journey on Norad's website very carefully this year. If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I'm bricking the chimney up. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-11-14, 09:33 AM	#7056
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Antiques. They don't make 'em like they used to. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-11-14, 10:07 AM	#7057
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A British Airways flight was forced to return to Heathrow after "a loud bang" was heard by residents on the flight path. Gemma Collins said " I really should look where I'm walking and not at the sky, I will pay for the Land Rover to be fixed" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-11-14, 10:41 AM	#7058
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	In the news: Former DJ Ray Teret has been jailed for 25 years for a series of rapes and indecent assaults on girls as young as 12. On hearing this some people said,'How could he be so evil' Other said, 'Hanging is too good for him'. But most people said, 'Who the hell is Ray Teret?' __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-11-14, 01:58 PM	#7059
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	BBC News: UK table no-fly zone plan at UN. They have this big can of spray and large rolled up newspaper. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-12-14, 06:36 AM	#7060
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday. Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-12-14, 07:33 AM	#7061
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	So there I was at work, quietly reading the newspaper while having a crap, when my boss comes storming in and screams that I'm fired! I got such a shock I almost fell off his desk. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-12-14, 07:46 AM	#7062
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	If I was Rolf Harris, I would insist on a retrial.. In South Africa. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-12-14, 08:37 AM	#7063
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I had just hung up my phone on the bus this morning when I got a tap on the shoulder, "Excuse me," said a teenage girl dressed in her school uniform, "I wonder if you could settle an argument for us? Me and my friend just overheard your phone ringing just then and I'm pretty sure it was Beyoncé, but my friend is adamant it was Rihanna..." I said, "You're both wrong, it was my mum." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-12-14, 08:59 AM	#7064
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Russell Brand deserves recognition for his contributions to comedy, literature, fashion, politics and philosophy. I'm hoping he'll soon get a title. Preferably "The Late". __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now