2014 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[nikimcbee]

Well played Wolferz.

I was gunna bitch about how lousy my running backs were. Then I saw the score. Nevermind.

It looks like a continuation of last year. I have a good day, I play the person who has the record week.

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

Well played Wolferz.

I was gunna bitch about how lousy my running backs were. Then I saw the score. Nevermind.

It looks like a continuation of last year. I have a good day, I play the person who has the record week.

We're sorry, we're sorry. We're not sorry.

[Gut Wrench]

RATS AND WHO DAT LEAD
Beans and Michael Still To Score

Week 2 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and we have a surprise league leader, who also happens to be a débutante. We'll tell you about the big battle between two teams where one slithered into oblivion, and just how some these results produced a complete rewrite of the weekend games in the last two minutes of Monday night.

But before we do anything else, let's give you the most important message that you need to know about.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Now before we get started on who won, let's have a close look at who could of won, who should have won, and who got injured.

The two most devastating injuries go the Australian Taipans who lost not one, but two key players in the first 60 seconds of the game. Most surprising is that the Australian Taipans had originally attempted to trade away RB Knowshow Moreno earlier in the week. There was some suggested that the Who Dat Nation may have been willing to trade off their suspended WR Wes Welker, but that was quashed as soon as Moreno bruised his ego.

Then we have those coaches who started opposing forces, and there were two this week. Coach Wolfer probably gave away the biggest blow out this week by starting Matthew Stafford (QB) and the Panthers Defense. But lets not think this is just a rookie mistake, for Mister Chris of the defending champion Helmand Nighthawks by starting Matt Bryant (K) and the Bengals Defense.

And now on with the highlights.

Our most impressive game was the Guns of Hochuli and the Mini Ded Poets. The Poets after getting a very unfriendly "welcome" in week one, came out and showed that they have the ability to put up some big scores, eventually racking up 105 points. The Gunner, however, are a past finalist and no push over when it comes to choreographing great victories. Trailing by over 25 points with less than three minutes to go on Monday Night, they rested their team on the arm of Nick Foles (QB) and Codey Parkey (K). With less than 60 seconds to go, Foles finally throws for 300 yards and puts Parkey in a position to kick the Gunners to a 2-0 season. Final score, Guns of Hochuli 110 - Mini Ded Poets 105.

First game of the week to be completed had the Wild Boston Terriers against the Green Beans. Two renown opponents came head to head once again in a battle of titans. And a back and forth deal it was all weekend, with the lead changing several times. After having a previous dud week with Aaron Rodgers (QB) Coach McBee threatened to take away Rodger's discount double check before he finally started showing why he was a second round pick. But it wasn't an easy win, with Brandon Marshall finally bringing his A game late Sunday night. Sunday night is a poor time to be coming back, and the Beans finally ran out of gas. Final score Wild Boston Terriers 95 Green Beans 87.

Our top of the ladder game between the top teams turned into nothing short of a disappointing game - from at least one foreign team. The Bilge Rats and the Australian Taipans were both 1-0 after the first week and frankly, are both a bit of surprise to be leading the league. The Bilge Rats are rookies this year and the Taipans, have been one of these teams always there, but not quite at the end. And so it was that the Taipans just slithered to a show up score, handing the Bilge Rats their second win of the season. Bilge Rats win handily 119 - 89.

After the game Coach Wolfer spoke to the media.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

The easiest win of the week resulting in the biggest blow out were the Who Dat Nation and Coach Michael's team, aptly named Michael's Team. Michael had a couple of stars not show up for the weekend not otherwise affected by child abuse allegations. However, what's looking like a Ghost team, Michael's team just didn't score and becames a sacrificial lamb for the remainder of the season. Fuel for Blood and the Who Dat Nation run out convincing winners 101 - 62.

Our match of the week was a thriller between the Helmand Nighthawls and the Black Cats. The Cats last week were unfortunate not to win, and the Helmand Nighthawks were convincing winners, but this week was a different matter. This was a heavy weight bout between two possible championship defenders who showed that in a week of relative low scoring, these two could lay out some points. The Black Cats laid out an impressive score and waited on the Nighthawks QB Andrew Luck to win it in the last two minutes. Despite throwing for 3 early touchdowns, the Nighthawks fell short by a lot of passing yards. The Black Cats get a win the tough way, through the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions by hanging on for a 116 - 108 win.

So after week two, let's look at where the teams stand.

The Bilge Rats and the Who Dat Nation lead not only the Subsimmers Division but the league. The Wild Boston Terriers sit at 50% and the Green Beans and Michael's team are still looking for their first win.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, the Guns of Holchuli are the only team at 2-0, while the Taipans, Cats and Nighthawks are at 1-1. The Mini Ded Pets bring up the tail at 0-2.

What it does mean is that in week 3, we get a mixed back to choose from. We pick the defending champions and return to Wembley as the Australian Taipans travel for the longest away game ever. Both the Nighthawks and the Taipans look on paper to be the division leaders, but, at 1-1 both teams need to improve to be considered great.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 346 passing yards for 3 touchdowns and 28 rushing yards, for a total of 30.32 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Aaron Rodgers of the Wild Boston Terriers, the Week Two MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

RATS AND WHO DAT LEAD
Beans and Michael Still To Score

Week 3 in the Subsim Fantasy League. We can talk about who's leading the league. We can talk about who's leading for first pick of next years draft. We can even talk about the big blow outs experienced in week three. But before we talk about anything else, we have to talk about the most important thing you can do today to save the world.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

So, maybe not save the world, but you won't know until you do.

Speaking of not saving the world, how about those teams that were up against Julio Jones (WR) and Andrew Luck (QB) this week. Oh wait - both those guys are on the same team, the London based Helmand Nighthawks. And who's ass did they smack this week? The Australian Taipans. Oh the humanity, this one was over by half time on Thursday night.

The Helmand Nighthawk welcome the Australian Taipans on their longest away game of the week, and if they had played almost anyone else, would have gotten the win. The Taipans didn't even run out on the field Thursday night, which is just as well as Julio Jones (WR) would have run right over them. Amassing 9 receptions for 161 yards and two touchdowns, our match of the game this week was being called as whitewash. The Taipans finally got off the bus and arrived at Wembley Stadium Sunday morning, where the onslaught continued. (I checked in on the game once, the Nighthawks were 108 points ahead. ) By Sunday morning, Mister Chris had declared his innings closed at 151 and waited out for the Taipans. The gap was just too big, the Taipans never had a hope and finally yielded the L on Monday night. Helmand Nighthawks score almost as many points in this game as they have in the previous two to be convincing winners, 151 - 115.

In the battle of the top and bottom of the ladder, the Bilge Rats prove that they can win convincingly on the road. Débutantes this season, the Bilge Rats traveled to the hollow turf of Michael's Team. Coach Michael started with a big bang with QB Matt Ryan racking up a quick 23 points. However, the job wasn't carried on when his wide receiving and running back corps did not cross for a touchdown. Starting Jordan Reed (TE) out on vacation, only added salt to the wounds, as the Bilge Rats were given a modest total to pursue. The Rats only stand out player was Jeremy Macklin who put the Rats into a winning position, even though starting quarterback Matthew Stafford took points away from the team. Michael will probably lament the opportunity to take away a win from the Bilge Rats, who keep their unbeaten run alive with a 94 - 76 win.

Up in Oregon, the two feisty counterparts that divide the state waged their own Civil War battle. Fuel For Blood in his sophomore year has once again stolen glory away by winning the local derby. The Wild Boston terriers were let down by the running backs who combined for a total of 49 yards. Wide Receiver Pierre Garcon couldn't carry the Terriers as they fall short chasing the lead. Who Dat Nation defeat the Wild Boston Terriers 99-88.

After the game Coach Fuel For Blood addressed the media at the local Hooters establishment.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

Still looking for their first win of the season, The Mini Ded Poets were pitted this week against the Black Cats. The line in Vegas favored the Dead Poets, and that was supported by great efforts from Michael Crabtree and Emanuel Sanders. The Black Cats though, much like a pimple that will not go away, just stayed and stayed and crawled back into the game. Marshawn Lynch (RB) lead the charge but it was not until Monday night that the Cats finally took the lead with Jay Cutler (QB) and Alshon Jeffrey (WR). Black Cats exercise their claws within the division to finish off the Mini Dead Poets 126 - 89.

Now, while the media were all in a frenzy about the Nighthawk blow out, there was another assault going on that had nothing to do with Syria. Two teams renown for not liking each other, and for taking wins and losses away from each other, met for the first time this year. Quietly, as they have in past years, the Guns of Hochuli have sailed under the radar. On the opposite side of the 50 yard line, the Green Beans have just as quietly become fodder as they start the year in one of their worst performances. At 0-2, the Beans were needing some gas in the tank to come forward and blow the Gunner's apart. Alas, it was not to be, and perhaps having received the news of the earlier Nighthawk game, set about putting together one of the biggest blow outs seen in recent times. It was not until Monday night and after Martellus Bennet (TE) had crossed for two touchdowns that the full ramifications of the game were noticed. The Gunners continued to drive home their advantage and just pummeled the Beans, to finally round out the week with a 110 - 64 win.

So after week three, let's see where the possibilities and the probabilities lie.

In the Sub Simmers division, the Bilge Rats and the Who Dat Nation lead at 3-0. Interesting, the Who Dat Nation are 3-0 within the division, while the Bilge Rats are 2-0 within the division, but have scored more points. The Wild Boston Terriers loss to the Who Dat Nation drop them back to 1-2, while the Green Beans and Michael's team squabble for the wooden spoon.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, the Gins of Hochuli have quietly moved to 3-0 by going 2-0 within the division. The Black Cats and the Helmand Nighthawks sit a game back at 2-1, the Australian Taipans another game back at 1-2, and the Mini Ded Poets own the cellar at 0-3.

Next week we go back to the Bilge Rats home sewer for our match of the week where they take on the Guns of Hochuli. The winner of that game will own not only the divisional lead, but the league lead. We'll be there in all our much and glory to cover it from the first kick on Thursday night to the last kneel down on Monday.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 370 passing yards for 4 touchdowns and 15 rushing yards, for a total of 36.15 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Andrew Luck of the Helmand Nighthawks, the Week Three MVT.

[Wolferz]

To all the Bilge Rat fans... Flush early and often before the next game. The Guns of the Ochuli should fall nicely with the nose plugs cramping their breathing.

[ReallyDedPoet]

Gotta get those Mini-DedPoets going....

[nikimcbee]

So this is what it's like to have a functioning FF team?
Anybody want my AP jersey?

[Jimbuna]

Meanwhile:

The Miami Dolphins breezed to a 38-14 victory over the Oakland Raiders in the first of this season's three NFL contests at Wembley.

http://www1.skysports.com/american-f...embley-stadium

[ReallyDedPoet]

The mini-poet was on his game yesterday

Made some nice moves, benched the Niners , dressed R. Wayne against Tennessee and had
Miami on defence.

[Gut Wrench]

AND BEHOLD, THERE WAS ONE.
Gunners sole team at 4-0

Week 4 in the Subsim Fantasy League. We're going to tell you about the sole team that stands alone undefeated. We'll tell you about one of the teams that earned their first ever win in one of the biggest upsets of the years. And we'll tell you about two teams that had no business being on the field this weekend, and still one of them got a win.

But before we tell you anything else, the first thing we have to do is tell you about the most important thing you need to do today.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

And the second thing we have to do is apologize for running the same headline last week. Phew. You would think with the money that Neal is paying for this column I could come up with something original and didn't sound like the week before.

Let the fantasy world get turned upside down with one of the biggest beat downs that we've seen in such a long time...no one can pinpoint when it last happened. The Who Dat Nation, hot favorite in Las Vegas to win the entire Championship, stumbled from a perfect season, when they came up against the 0-3 Mini Dead Poets. The Miniatures must have caused the circled this day because they arrived in Oregon with a bang. It's not that the Nation didn't play well, it was more a case that that the Miniatures stunned the fantasy by playing beyond their ability. Jordy Nelson (WR) scored closed to a career high, Reggie Wayne (WR) scored in double figures, and not even the abysmal failure of their quarterback, Tom Brady, could hold the Miniatures back this week. The Mini Dead Poets hand the Who Dat Nation their first loss of the year, and suddenly, the Poets find themselves right back in the chase of the championship at 1-3. Mini Dead Poets steal one away from the Who Dat Nation 124 - 114.

The other big scoring game of the week comes on the back of some commentary by Coach McBee. Earlier in the week, McBee was overheard trying to sell off his team for a 1957 VW bug. Rumor mongering suggest that the team thought they were at least worth a 1974 Golf and set out to create a storm that has made the fantasy world open their eyes. In the past few weeks, the Subsim Torpedo Bowl has been graced by some extremely high scores, and not to be outdone, the Wild Boston Terriers set about establishing a significantly high score. After crossing the Atlantic, Mister Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks had a chase, but when it came down to Monday night, Jamal Charles (RB) just could not carry the team on his own. Wild Boston Terrier choke the Helmand Nighthawks 159 - 100.

But that was not the biggest blow out of the week. Last week we talked about the Black Cats and their rag tag purring through the league. This week, Coach F.Y.C. spurned his team to a new level of performance, against the struggling Green Beans. The Beans in the past few years have been thE "coming and going" team, and this week, they really went away. Starting no less than three players either on vacation or in hospital, the Green Beans barely managed to score their 30 points. The Black Cats took the opportunity to race through and add some for and against leverage by managing a consistent productive team. Black Cats earn the biggest blow out by pillaging a team that probably would have scored more if they had stayed at home. Cats win 117 - 36.

After the game F.Y.C. addressed the media before leaving the stadium.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

Our match of the week was the top of the ladder clash between the Bilge Rats and the Guns of Hochuli. The Rats probably could have won this if they had bothered to start a RB and a TE that weren't on vacation, however, they did and that gave Coach Chad just enough room to garner the win. The win gives the Gunners sole possession of the league, and a half game lead over the Black Cats as the Gunners are already 2-0 within the division. If the Bilge Rats want to be considered a formidable force within the league, they are going to have step up the business. Gunners win 97 - 66.

In the bracket of having no business winning, what on earth did the Taipans do this week. After Thursday night the Taipans had used three players to amass the "huge" score of 16 points. The Taipans were staring down the throat of a third consecutive loss against Coach Michael, who set a new franchise record by starting 5 players on vacation or permanently disabled. Even with those players out, Michael's Team put up enough points to have our printing presses getting ready to run the biggest disaster story ever reported in the league. If the Taipans can't get a win when the opposition stay at home, maybe they need to be relegated to the NFL. Taipans get a win that they had no business receiving by defeating Michael 89-45.

So with a third of the season is complete, let's see where the teams lay.

The Guns of Hochuli own the league at this time with a 4-0 record. At 3-1, Sub Simmers divisional rivals the Bilge Rats and the Who Dat Nation are tied with the Black Cats. The Wild Boston Terriers, Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans are all tied at .500. Behind them the Mini Dead Poets get off the bottom of the ladder to advance to 1-3, while Michael's Team and the Green Beans fight out for first pick of the draft next year.

Next week we go back to the Black Cats lair as they go up against the Bilge Rats in our feature match. This game has the most intrigue as it plays out for a potential count back at the end of the season where these 3-1 teams are expected to meet. And we'll be there from the first kick on Thursday night to the last kneel down on Monday.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 10 receptions for 108 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 32.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Jordy Nelson of the Mini Dead Poets, the Week Four MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

RECORD SCORE SPANKS TERRIERS...AGAIN.
107 point loss.



Week 5 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and lookout. If you're playing the Wild Boston Terriers, expect to put up a record score. If you're playing the the 1-3 Mini Ded Poets, don't think that they will just lay down and die. And if you're thinking about nominating for this years Best of Subsim, don't let me stop you with the following suggestion.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Let's start with the two biggest games in Australia last weekend, and the one important game that really mattered.

Once upon a time there was a foundation football club called South Sydney. Last weekend, the South Sydney club broke a hoodoo as they took their first Grand Final in 43 years. After the game, the cleaning crew came in and began the transformation for a Subsim Fantasy Football fantasy football game. The Australian Taipans were hosting the Wild Boston Terriers, which turned into nothing more than a bloodbath for the Taipans. Commissioner McBee started early with Aaron Rodgers (QB) and Randall Cobb (WR) on Thursday night, but it wasn't until the heat of Sunday that the Taipans showed they had teeth. After berating the Taipans in this column last week, they came out and served Australian justice until the mercy rule was invoked, and Victor Cruz (WR) was told he could only score single digit points. The Wild Boston Terriers for the second time this season, get served a league record score against them, and have plenty of time to think about it on the 17 hour flight home. Taipans serve notice as they destroy the Wild Boston Terriers 170 - 63.

Our match of the day this week was the Black Cats hosting the Bilge Rats. The Cats have been the "wannabe" team of the past few years, and the Bilge Rats are the "gonnabe" team of this year. This marquee game turned into one of the best highlight games of the past few years. The lead went back and forth between the two teams, with neither Coach able to extract dominance, and unable to put the opposition away. Late Sunday afternoon the Black Cats held a slight lead, which no one thought that could be surpassed by a kicker. Stephen Gostkowski, who appeared in the recent ESPN Sportcenter commercial ready to ask for more money, proved his value kicking 21 points and almost becoming the highest point scorer for the game. Having put the Bile Rats ahead, the Cat had no reserves left to play on Monday night, giving the Bilge Rats a win 104 - 93.

After the game Coach Wolfer addressed the media.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

How about that team that looked to be going no where - the Mini Ded Poets. Don't tell Coach Mini that he's out of the playoffs.

After a couple of early losses, the Mini Dead's have put together two consecutive wins, this weekend's win against the Ghost like team of the Green Beans. Coach Chad has not been seen since the draft, but a W is a win no matter what. Mini Dead Poets advance to 2-3 and create a very interesting Surface Skimmers division, by defeating the Green Beans 101 - 50.

There are some teams you just know are going to be there at the end of the regular season. The Helmand Nighthawks are one such team, but when you start Julian Edeleman (WR) Rob Gronkowsi (TE) and the Bengals defense, a rookie selection mistake of playing your opposition has cost the Nighthawks a possible win. Edeleman only scored a paltry 6.75 points, but Gronk with a 100 yard receiving game and a touchdown scored 22 points. So much so, the Bengals defense scored -3. That one choice by Mister Chris to leave the Falcons (DEF) on the bench cost the Nighthawks 7 points. Coach Fuel For Blood and the Who Dat Nation played a close game needing just 3 points from Percy Harvin (WR) to win. Having scored those points early in the first quarter, Harvin did nothing else for the rest of the game, giving the Who Dat Nation a narrow win 108 - 105. That one rookie like error drops the Nighthawks to 2-3 and almost 5 positions in the ladder.

Having no problem at the top of the league ladder are the Guns of Hochuli. Business as usual was the name of the game as the Gunners hosted the bottom ranked Micheal's team. You couldn't get a bet on this game in Vegas the Gunners were so heavily favored. Team Ghost if they bothered to show up may have actually been able to win this won as the Gunners win by a smaller margin than everybody expected. Final score Guns of Hochuli 108 Micheal's Team 74.

Let's have a look at the ladder and see where the teams lay.

The Guns of Hochuli with their 5-0 record hold a one game lead over everybody, and a two game lead over the remainder of the Surface Skimmers division. Based on performance so far this year, the Gunners are only 3 wins away from a play off position.

(To soon to be talking about seeding?)

Behind them a squabble is going on. The Bilge Rats and the Who Dat Nation shared the divisional lead of the Sub Skimmers division at 4-1, and while the Bilge Rats are ahead on for and against, the Who Dat Nation has 3 divisional wins to the Rats 2. Both teams have a two game lead over the next divisional rival. Surface Skimmers divisional rivals the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans are the only league teams at 3-2. Behind them, the Wild Boston Terriers, Helmand Nighthawks and the rookie Mini Dead Poets are all at 2-3. Only the Wild Boston Terriers and the Nighthawks are expected to get above the .500% mark by the time the playoffs come around. Michael's Team and the Green Beans are still looking for their first win.

Next week we go home with the Guns of Hochuli as they host the Australian Taipans. The Taipans had a big win and the Gunners have had the least amount of points scored against them. With a chance to knock off the league leader and divisional rival, the Taipans have more to play for. Conversely, the Gunners can put their first divisional rival in a hole with a win and advance their lead over the division.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 479 yards and 4 touchdowns, for a total of 33.98 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Peyton Manning of the Australian Taipans, the Week Five MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

DOUBLE THRILLER.
And Monday Night final quarter rewrites.



Week 6 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and if you were looking for a little pre-Holloween Thriller, you got it with the Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans down to the wire, Hail Mary play on Monday night. Not enough action for you? How about we double the thrills with the a second helping of Mini Dead Poets and Nighthawks playing out one of the closest nail biting finishes (and of course, Monday night rewrites).

But before we scare the Fantasy Football pants off you, here's the most important thing you can do tonight.

DONATE TO SUBSIM .

On to the pretend football.

Let's start with one of the biggest shocks of this weeks games, as the Black cats host the Who Dat Nation. The Nation has been a power scoring machine in recent years, and any chance to get a win is a feather in your cap. The Black Cats came home after a two game road trip and really needed to show the Nation that the Cats truly are a team deserving of respect. And respect they got as they pounded the Nation. The Who Dat Nation struggled to score, only their Quarterback Andy Dalton reached double figures. While the Ravens (DEF) didn't put up a lot of points for the Black Cats, they did manage to keep to keep the Nations scorers on the sideline warming the bench. With time of possession in their favor, the Black Cats didn't even need to play Travis Kelce (TE) who was in Fiji on vacation. Cats trounce the Who Dat Nation, holding them to a pitiful 97 - 42 scoreline.

Last week, the Wild Boston Terriers were decimated in Australia, but not this week. This week they cam home, licked their....ummm, well you know where dogs lick, and set out to get their season back to .500%. Having the 0-5 Michael's team in town may have seen like a walk in the park, but Michael's team showed that they can keep pace with the dogs and score points, even if there is no one at the helm steering the ship. If they did have a skipper at the helm, they may have played two positions that didn't have guys on vacation, and give the doggies a swift kick. No, the Wild Boston Terrier put the bite on Michael, level out at 3-3 with a 94 - 69. win.

In a much calmer post game interview (compared to the previous week) Coach McBee addressed the media.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

Maintaining an even race in the battle for the wooden spoon, Coach Chad and the Green Beans, a once proud franchise, now sits like a discarded burrito after a big night in Bangkok at 0-5. With no wins on the board, it was always going to be a difficult ask when the Bilge Rats come to town, and as it turned out, there was very little contest in it. Once again, with no one apparently at the helm, the Beans could have given the Rats a run for their money if they had bothered to substitute in two players. As it was, the Rats made a rookie mistake of playing both Gionvani Bernard (RB) and the Panthers (DEF), but the Beans were unable to take advantage and get their first win. Bilge Rats advance to 4-1 with a 119 - 82 win.

Our match of the day this week is the first of two thrillers. Entering this week, the Guns of Hochuli were the last remaining undefeated team at 5-0. You have to go back a long way to find a 6-0 team, so it was up to the Australian Taipans to put that streak to an end. Buoyed by their impressive scoring performance last week, you only needed to see the scheduled team on Thursday night to know that the Taipans may have let this one slip away with TY Hilton (WR) on the bench for 31 points. The Lions (DEF) stepped up for the Gunners and and abysmal failure of two of the Taipans wide receivers means that this game came down to the last quarter on Monday night. Needing just one touchdown to end the Gunners immaculate season, the Taipans were lucky to get one pass. Final score Gunners win a close game 128 - 120.

Our second thriller of the week was the Mini Dead Poets hosting the defending Torpedo Bowl champions, the Helmand Nighthawks. In a rare error, Mister Christ started Jamal Charles (RB) for the Nighthawks while Charles was soaking up the sun in Fiji. Playing one man short, the Mini's had a chance to steal this one away if just one of their players showed up. And show up Jordy Nelson (WR) did. Two weeks after winning the MVP, Nelson went for another 109 yards and a TD to give the mini's a chance of glory. On Monday night, the Mini's had to wait on the 49ers (DEF) before they knew the result of this one. A pick 6 with less than 60 seconds remaining gave the Mini's some breathing room. Mini Dead Poets steal one away from divisional rivals the Nighthawks, in a thrilling 92 - 78.

With six weeks completed lets have a look at what we know, the probables and the possibles.

At the bottom of the ladder, Sub Simmer divisional rivals the Green Beans and Michael's team sit at 0-6. One of those teams is guaranteed to advance to 1-6 next week as they meet each other. Without a miracle, or the appearance of their Coach, both teams will will be at the Torpedo Bowl, watching from the first batch of released seats. Put a fork in them, they are done.

The top of the ladder gets a little clouded and harder to decipher. The Guns of Hochuli and the Bilge Rats both lead their divisions. The Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats are second in their respective divisions at 4-2. Behind them the Wild Boston Terriers, Australian Taipans and Mini Dead Poets sit at a respectable .500%. The defending Torpedo Bowl champions the Helmand Nighthawks are at 2-4.

Next week we go home back to Oregon for a Sub Simmers Divisional game between the Who Dat Nation and the Bilge Rats. With just a game between these two teams, and the apparent lack of coaching in the 0-6 teams, the divisional matches play significant importance. This will also be no walk in the park either, as we begin to get down to the seeding process for the play offs. It looks to be one of the best match ups this year.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 8 sacks and 3 interceptions, for a total of 24 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present the Lions Defense of the Guns of Hochuli, the Week Six MVT.

[ReallyDedPoet]

Not Micheal Jackson :-o

[Gut Wrench]

CELLAR DWELLERS DECIDED.
Michael's team Gets First Win.

Week 7 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and the question has been asked. Can anyone stop the Guns Of Hochuli from going undefeated? Can the Australian Taipans get above .500% by scoring more points than anyone else in the league? Can either of the two cellar dweller ghost teams get their first win.

But the most important question that we need to ask, is...

HAVE YOU DONATED TO SUBSIM?

If the answer is no, then the second question is "why not"?

As you ponder all the poor reasons why you haven't, lets get to the less important questions of the week, which include who got up?

We'll start with our match of the day in Oregon where the Who Dat Nation hosted the Bilge rats. The Bilge Rats have stayed one game ahead of the Nation through the first six weeks, so this game was looking to be a record breaking crowd of attendance. And what a disappointment this turned into. The Who Dat Nation lead by Drew Brees (QB) threw for everything on the weekend, including throwing out two of the Bilge Rats starting RB. With two players off the field, the Bilge Rats never even looked like they were going to start, in no part hindered by their poor Defense (Panthers) who added a negative score. In a battle for the Divisional lead, the Who Dat Nation whop the Bilge Rats 117 - 56. The Nation and the Rats both finish the week at 5-2, but the Nation is 4-0 in the division.

The Battle for the Wooden Spoon was a highly contested affair between the Green Beans and Michael. Coach Chad of the Beans started two players on vacation, while Coach Michael started three on vacation. In a low scoring game, with a season high crowd attendance of 12, Coach Michael was able to give his team their first win, and leave the Beans at 0-6. Final yawn, I mean score, Michael's team defeat the Green Beans 50 - 45.

In his first address to the media all year, and ever, Coach Michael made a brief comment before heading off to celebrate with his teams fans...all 5 of them.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

How about them Mini Ded Poets? In their debut season, the Mini have had a hot streak (of 3) on the run and were looking to make it four in a row against the Wild Boston Terriers. The Doggies have had their team up and down more often than a cocked leg, and this week, the leg was down. Lead by Aaron Rodgers (QB) the Terriers receiving corps performed well, but the RB's of Frank Gore and Justin Forsett did nothing. Well, they didn't actually do nothing, they score less than 6 points between them. Combined! Sensing the opportunity to steal a win away from a much stronger opponent, the Mini's sent in RB Eddie Lacey and Ahmad Bradshaw to put the Dogs away. Scoring over 31 combined points, the Mini Ded Poets topple the Wild Boston Terriers in an upset win, 102 - 94. The Mini's advance to a three way share of the Surface Skimmers Division at 4-3.

The other two teams in that three way were the Black Cats hosting the Australian Taipans. The Taipans have scored more points than anyone this season, and still sit at .500%. The Black Cats must have changed the program listing of their team a dozen times this week, swapping in and out QB's Joe Flaco, Jay Cutler, and RB's Ben Tate and Bishop Sankey. None of them were a very good choice this week as the Taipans put up yet another monster score to win 130 - 78. The win advances the Taipans to 4-3, and the divisional tie breaker against the Black Cats.

Can no one stop the Guns of Hochuli from running away with the regular season? This week it was up to the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Helmand Nighthawks to throw down the gauntlet and put stop to the madness of a potential 7 in a row. 7. The Gunners have been almost unstoppable, only having one close call. The Nighthawks however, are facing a horror season and with the Mini Ded Poets win, were facing a two game divisional deficit. The Gunners came out and with Demariyus Thomas scoring 33 points, just ran the Nighthawks out of town. Final score, Guns of Hochuli 126 Helmand Nighthawks 88.

At the midway point of the season, let's break down each team and where their divisional play off may lay.

Guns of Holchuli 7-0

• The Gunners own the Surface Skimmers Division by two games, and the rest of the league by one game. The Gunners are two games short of earning a play off berth.

Who Dat Nation, Bilge Rats. 5-2

• The Who Dat Nation holds the divisional tie breaker over the Bilge Rats. The Rats until this week, have played as the better team. One of these teams will win the division, the other will have to take their chances.

Australian Taipans, Black Cats, Mini Ded Poets 4-3

• The race for the #4 seed will come from here. Only one team will make the Championship Series, and based on points scored, it will probably be the Taipans. The Cats stalled when they had the opportunity to get in front. The Mini Ded Poets were lucky to get this far, their luck runs thin in the next few weeks.

Wild Boston Terriers, 3-4.

• The dark horse, the one team that can upset the entire league once they start getting back to playing football. With a guaranteed two wins aginst ghost teams, they are not yet eliminated.

Helmand Nighthawks

• Our defending Torpedo Bowl Champions. Their season ends next week without a win. They play the Mini Dead Poets. One of these teams will be in a hole late Monday night.

Michael's Team, 1-6 and Green Beans, 0-6

• Fodder for the rest of the league.

Next week, we go back to Australia as the Taipans host the Guns of Hochuli in our match of the week. The two teams met last week and the Taipans came within a snake's breath of winning. The Taipans have outscored everyone and may be the only team to out Gun Hochuli. On the other hand, a win to the Gunners will put them within a half game of a guaranteed play off position.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There were a lot of players who could have had the award. Peyton Manning (Taipans) Demaryius Thomas (Guns of Hochuli) but this week, we went to honor one of the fighters in the league. For the effort of 3 receptions for 81 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 13.05 points and lifting them to their first victory of the season, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present the Torrey Smith of Michael's team, the Week Seven MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

IMMACULATE SEASON OVER.
Taipans Bite Gunners.

Week 8 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and the Gunners have been stopped from a clean sweep of the season. We'll tell you about their first defeat this year, and what it doesn't mean for the play offs. We'll talk (again) about that team that brings questions on whether they can win, and we'll talk about the big shoot out in Wembley.

But before we talk about anything, we have to talk about the most important thing you need to do today.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM?

Let's get to our match of the week, and it was thriller (with no Michael Jackson icon.)

Two weeks ago the Guns of Hoculi hosted the Australian Taipans in one of the best games of the year. The Taipans narrowly lost the game after having another player succumb to the All Injury team. This week was no different with the Taipans losing their sixth player for the season in the first quarter, with the injury to Brian Quick (WR). The Taipans started early on Thursday night with Peyton Manning (QB) but didn't look that convincing to win the game. The Gunners, made a rookie mistake when they played both Roddy White (WR) and Detroit (DEF) on their team. White's scored almost wiped points off the board, and Detroit scored only 4 points The Taipans played well through Sunday night but the Gunners had kept most of their starters in reserve for the Monday night game. It came down to late in the fourth quarter as the Gunners were closing in on a diminishing lead form the Taipans, when two disastrous events occurred - Tony Romo (QB) got injured and left the field and DeSean Jackson (WR) of the Taipans finally crossed for 100 yards. The points differential began to spread out again and as time ran out, the Taipans were able to inflict the Gunners with their first loss of the season. Taipans win a thrilling top of the table clash 121 - 101.

At the bottom end of the table, after getting their first win last week, Michael's team was looking to make it 2 in a row when they took on the Black Cats. The Cats have been the up and down team of the season, scoring big one week, sucking badly the next. And this week they sucked the worst. Scoring a paltry 64 points, with the huge contribution of 0 from Joe Flaco (QB) the Black Cats were lucky that they weren't blown out as Michael's team had two players out on vacation. Had they even bothered to suite up this week, the Cats would be looking at a game that they had no business winning. By the narrowest of margins, the Black Cats lose in overtime to the Michael's Team 68 - 64.

The other bottom of the ladder game was the Who Dat nation hosting the Green Beans. With a bead on first pick of next years draft, the Beans not only had three players not show up for the game, but a fourth show up and score no points. Who Dat Nation as expected blow out the Green beans 107 - 31.

How about 'dem Mini Dead Poets? The Mini's have been on a hot streak of 4 games and were looking to make it 5 when they hosted the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks are known for their high scoring offense, having had several of the leagues highest scores in the past few years. This year, the Nighthawks had struggled in the face of an opposition that has simply outscored them when the Nighthawks should have won. This was the third game where the Nighthawks have outscored everybody else in the league, and still come away with a loss. The Mini Dead Poets have powered through, and even though they left Ben Roethlisberger (QB) on the bench with 51 points, the Poets other mega stars including the Dolphins (DEF) stood up and showed what they could do, that they could topple the champions. In the wildest shoot out seen in years, stretching late into Monday Night overtime, the Mini Dead Pets run out winner 173 - 145.

Of note, had the Mini Dead Pets played the optimal team, the Mini Dead Poets would have scored a total of 194, a league all time record score. At the same time, if the Nighthawks had played their optimal team, they too would have scored a total of 172 points, which would have been a league all time highest losing score.

After the game, Coach Mini addressed the media at a turbulent press conference.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week."

Proving that they are having another season where they score plenty of points, but still can't get to .500%, Coach McBee and the Wild Boston Terriers hosted the Bilge Rats in Oregon. The Rats are the upstart of the league, debutantes in the league, and are selling more Bilge Rats jerseys than all other teams....combined. The Terriers showed up and played well, Aaron Rodgers (QB) scoring 20 points and Randall Cobb (WR) scoring another 22. Their Running Backs however, scored less than 15 points an no touchdowns between them. That left the door open for the Bilge Rats, for while they struggled with Julius Thomas (TE) only scoring 3 points, otherwise matched and outscored the Terriers. The Bilge Rats power on and defeat the Wild Boston Terriers 152 - 118.

So after 8 weeks lets see where the teams lay.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, the Guns of Hochiuli lead at 7-1. The series with the Australian Taipans has been split at 1-1, and they trail the Gunners at 5-3. One other suprise team is also at 5-3, the Mini Dead Poets. The Black Cats are a game back at 4-4 and the Helmand Nighthawks, our defending champions, languish at 2-6.

In the Sub Simmers Division, both the Who Dat Nation and the Bilge Rats are 6-2, but the Nation not only holds a half game divisional advantage, they are also 5-0 within the division. The Wild Boston terrier sit three game back at 3-5, Michael's team at 2-6 and the Green Beans at 0-8.

Next week, we go back to Oregon as the two top teams in the league duke it out. The Who Dat Nation will be hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners after suffering their first defeat are within grasp of the Nation who would like nothing better than to snatch the league's #1 seeding from them. It promises to be a monumental affair.

Also next week, there will be a slight delay in the broadcast of the Subsim Fantasy League Reports, as the Associated Subsim Writers get together at the Meadowland on Monday night for a Giant celebration.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There was no doubt which team was going to win the award this week, it was just a matter of which member of the team would win it. However, for orchestrating such a significant win, for the effort of 354 passing yards and 5 touchdown for 42.08 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present the Tom Brady of the Mini Ded Poets, the Week Eight MVT.