Do you have a best friend?

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

I can certainly identify with that

I think that's the case with many of us. Course, my wife and I always have given each other plenty of space to do "your own thing", just don't do it as much now that were older, now more time together. Seems the older I get, the less need I have for relationships, except family.

[Fubar2Niner]

Originally Posted by Ducimus

Right now, my best friend is my wife. The way things have been going, it will probably remain that way until I die.

Aside from that, No, i don't. I've had friends. In the past I have had LOTS of friends. Many of whom I could call a brother. However for one reason or another, all of them are gone now. People move on, pass on, what have you. I've grown used to see people come and go in my life. In fact, I've come to expect everyone to leave at some point. It maybe a few weeks, it maybe a few years, but in the end, they all end up going. It's just how life is, and nobody ever said it was fair.

I hope my wife will be the exception. I want to grow old with her. What worries me is that cancer seems to come up alot in her family, because of that I fear one day she will leave me too. I guess if that day ever comes to pass, I shouldn't be surprised, and her loss I will mourn until i die.

I stopped trying to make friends a long time ago.

Precious words mate. I lost most my family similarly, as has my wife. All we can hope is that what ever time is left we make it as special as we can

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I think that's the case with many of us. Course, my wife and I always have given each other plenty of space to do "your own thing", just don't do it as much now that were older, now more time together. Seems the older I get, the less need I have for relationships, except family.

Originally Posted by Fubar2Niner

Precious words mate. I lost most my family similarly, as has my wife. All we can hope is that what ever time is left we make it as special as we can

Most poignant

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Fubar2Niner

Precious words mate. I lost most my family similarly, as has my wife. All we can hope is that what ever time is left we make it as special as we can

Seems most come about this way. My wife's parents passed at age 50 and 55. My dad passed in 2010 and my mom in 2011. That basically leaves me and my wife. We have two daughters. By and large we have just each other to depend on. As I posted a few back, my wife is my best friend. We have been married 19 years. Looking forward to another 19. At the end of the day we both realize all we have is each other.

[Sailor Steve]

When my wife left me after eleven years, she quoted the old saying "I hope we can still be friends." I wasn't angry at all, just honest, when I replied "When were we ever friends?"

I'd post that in the joke thread, but it wasn't funny then or now.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Seems most come about this way. My wife's parents passed at age 50 and 55. My dad passed in 2010 and my mom in 2011. That basically leaves me and my wife. We have two daughters. By and large we have just each other to depend on. As I posted a few back, my wife is my best friend. We have been married 19 years. Looking forward to another 19. At the end of the day we both realize all we have is each other.

Yep, tough. I lost my mom a lil over two years ago, in some ways she was my best friend. My dad is with hospice now. Never really was close to him, except tried the last few years. Getting old just sucks.

[Platapus]

Questions like this always depend on how one defines friend and best friend. People have different perceptions and opinions. It is really up to the individual.

Coming from the military it was tough to have a "best friend" as every few years we all rotated to another assignment or even location. I suppose that these days, with social media, it is easier to keep track of people than it used to be.

Now, as an old fart, all my colleagues have their lives and families so it is once again difficult to cultivate a "best friend". But then I have a more conservative definition of friend and consider someone lucky if they have 2-3 good friends in their lifetime. Others have a more liberal definition. What ever works for people.

So, in order to try and identify common ground -- what exactly IS a best friend and what makes them different from a friend?

[nikimcbee]

Wait, what was I thinking? I have 2 best friends:

[WernherVonTrapp]

Originally Posted by Platapus

-- what exactly IS a best friend and what makes them different from a friend?

That's a good question. The last time I had anyone that I categorized as a "best friend", I was a juvenile. Now that I consider the question, I have lots of friends, I just don't know if the term "best friend" would even apply with me anymore. Still, my wife is the one I'm closest to, and who knows me more intimately than anyone else. Since she and I are in the same boat (i.e., we have no other reliable family members), we only have each other, and our children of course.

[Stealhead]

I do not really use the "best friend" term either.I have friends and I have good friends who are people I enjoy the company of enough that I can tolerate their annoying tendencies and they mine.Another good term I suppose would be good friend.


I do not really classify my wife as a good friend because the relationship dynamic with a spouse has some aspects that make that type of relationship outside the bounds of a friendship.I certainly get along well with my wife though.

I have a few people that fall into the good friend category.

The one I have known the longest is Mike.You could say I have "known" him my entire life in fact my mother gave his mother my baby clothes when I out grew them.Of course he grew up to be a fairly large man and he would not be able to wear my clothes anymore.I was actually not very good friends with Mike until the last year or two of high school and since then we have been good friends.I probably gave him the best advice of any friend.He had been dating for a few years women that where a few years younger (not much maybe 4 or 5 years younger) and was getting frustrated. I told him he should try dating women closer to our age(at that time late 20's) I guess it was good advice because he has been married for several years now seems pretty happy.

I have another good friend George actually Geōrgios (he is from Greece originally) whom I actually met though the aforementioned friend though much more recently in the past 4 years.This person is was at one time a partner with Mike they are paramedics though Mike is now in a supervisory role.So they do not work together directly anymore.Still we usually hang out pretty regular.Usually George takes his daughters to go swimming at Mikes pool and while they swim we will sit and watch movies or football and movies.Mike gets very intense during games so half the fun is watching him freak out.When we watch movies we usually joke about different aspects for example we all agreed that the best part of Flight was the first 5 minutes(Nadine Velazquez) and we joked about that for the majority of the movie.

My neighbor is defiantly a good friend he has a much longer Laotian name but he just goes by "Phet".Phet is actually only a few years younger than my father and they have some things in common because they both fought on the same side in the expanded Vietnam War.I usually do a lot of out doors activities with Phet because he likes to hunt and fish like me.He has a real green thumb as well so he shows me all kinds of ways to grow better crops.He also has a really good sense of humor.

There are a few others mostly people that I met in the air force who I have a close friendship with.

If I had to pick a most loyal friend it would be my cat Bella.We have other cats and dogs and some other animals at the house but Bella is most loyal to me.She knows the sound of my truck and my 240Z and roughly the time I come home and she sits and waits by the window when she hears me driving up she runs down the hall and waits at the top of the stairs for me she does not like it when I delay coming into the houses and usually nags me if I do.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Platapus

Questions like this always depend on how one defines friend and best friend.

That's a good point. We tend to form attachments, and sometimes prefer one to all the others. I had one close friend from kindergarten through high school. There were other friends I hung out with, but he was the only one I was almost attached to. We were regulars at each other's family dinners and did everything together. I saw him for the last time when I was in the navy, and while I thought about looking him up from time to time it just didn't seem important anymore.

When you get married everything changes. Either your wife becomes your best friend or you don't stay married, unless it's out of habit. I don't go out much anymore, so while I'm on friendly terms with my neighbors there isn't anyone I hang out with on a steady basis.

One of my favorite movie lines of all time is from Tombstone, when Turkey Creek Johnson asks Doc Holliday why he's wasting his final days riding the revenge trail.
"Wyatt Earp is my friend."
"Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends."
"I don't."

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

That's a good point. We tend to form attachments, and sometimes prefer one to all the others. I had one close friend from kindergarten through high school. There were other friends I hung out with, but he was the only one I was almost attached to. We were regulars at each other's family dinners and did everything together. I saw him for the last time when I was in the navy, and while I thought about looking him up from time to time it just didn't seem important anymore.

When you get married everything changes. Either your wife becomes your best friend or you don't stay married, unless it's out of habit. I don't go out much anymore, so while I'm on friendly terms with my neighbors there isn't anyone I hang out with on a steady basis.

One of my favorite movie lines of all time is from Tombstone, when Turkey Creek Johnson asks Doc Holliday why he's wasting his final days riding the revenge trail.
"Wyatt Earp is my friend."
"Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends."
"I don't."

Had a "good friend" in high school, one I thought would be friends for life.
We did everything together. He got married, later I did. He got divorced and we hung around pretty much again as my wife then showed horses everywhere. I finally ended up divorced. Guess who later started dating my ex? Not sure why I felt betrayed, but I did. We didn't hang around much after that.

Both Wyatt Earp and Tombstone have great one-liners

[Takeda Shingen]

I don't really quantify my friends. I suppose my wife would be my "best" friend, but our relationship really isn't something that I would trivialize as just being friends. Same with my daughters.

So, I guess outside of my family if you are my friend, you are my friend. I don't put them in some sort of rank order. I do have a lot of friends. Only modesty restrains me from saying that I am a very popular individual. I am kind and generous with both my time and money. My wife and I each host semi-regular get-togethers for our more nerdy pursuits (in fact, she's the one that really put me in touch with my inner jocknerd). I host a weekly literary classics book club and an MtG club on the first Friday of every month. She has a D&D group that meets regularly and hosts a fighting game tournament a few times a year. As such, we always have people coming and going around the house. Fun stuff.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Takeda Shingen

I don't really quantify my friends. I suppose my wife would be my "best" friend, but our relationship really isn't something that I would trivialize as just being friends. Same with my daughters.

It is not really trivializing. It is more of additional aspect in a relationship.

[Takeda Shingen]

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