I think I found my new home!

Wolferz · 05-02-13, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Congratulations on the assembly job...your certainly no stereotype.

The fairer sex is just as capable of doing what their counterparts can do... except maybe writing their name in the snow with water based yellow ink and a natural appendage.

Jimbuna · 05-02-13, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

The fairer sex is just as capable of doing what their counterparts can do... except maybe writing their name in the snow with water based yellow ink and a natural appendage.

Don't be so sure on the above example...I once saw it done and was so amazed they got a verbal caution instead of a free nights bed and breakfast at the taxpayers expense

Wolferz · 05-02-13, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Don't be so sure on the above example...I once saw it done and was so amazed they got a verbal caution instead of a free nights bed and breakfast at the taxpayers expense

Say whut?

Jimbuna · 05-02-13, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Say whut?

Yep I actually saw it with my own eyes but the funny thing was I had a female colleague sitting in the car next to me and she said it should have been impossible

vienna · 05-02-13, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Yep I actually saw it with my own eyes but the funny thing was I had a female colleague sitting in the car next to me and she said it should have been impossible

The female in question was a belly or hula dancer perhaps?...

<O>

Jimbuna · 05-02-13, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vienna

The female in question was a belly or hula dancer perhaps?...

<O>

A young female barely past legal drinking age and a bit the worse for having consumed more alcohol than her body could tolerate.

I doubt any different to most cities in the UK and elsewhere but gone are the days when you'd only find males urinating in back alleys.

Wolferz · 05-02-13, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Yep I actually saw it with my own eyes but the funny thing was I had a female colleague sitting in the car next to me and she said it should have been impossible

So the freak was flying her freak flag with her larger than normal urethra?

Could of been a cross dresser or transvestite or some experiment that went horribly wrong.

Baaaaarrrrf!

We now return you to This old house.

Jimbuna · 05-02-13, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

So the freak was flying her freak flag with her larger than normal urethra?

Could of been a cross dresser or transvestite or some experiment that went horribly wrong.

Baaaaarrrrf!

We now return you to This old house.

Thank God!!

frau kaleun · 05-02-13, 07:52 PM

TONIGHT ON THIS OLD CONDO: Frau Kaleun goes to Ikea!

So, I bought a mattress. And after having a lie-down on pretty much everything there that wasn't designed for poor college students with far more resilient bodies than mine, the one I picked out was about $500 less than the one I thought I was going to want.

So to celebrate the fact that I was saving so much on the mattress, I decided to go ahead and get the drawer unit and two bookcases for the office. It was a flat delivery fee for everything, so I figured if I'm paying for a delivery and I was expecting to spend the extra money anyway, I might as well get some other things I want now and have them bring it on over all at one time.

Anyway the guy looked up all the items I wanted and printed me out a list and told me it would be $59 for delivery if I went to the self service area and got them all on a cart myself and paid for them and just took them to the delivery counter.

"But will I be able to get the mattress on the cart and take it up to the checkout?"

"Oh sure, that should be no problem. Just ask someone up there for assistance if you need help lifting it onto the cart."

Well, okay, some of their mattress DO come rolled up. And he's the expert from the mattress department. At least he didn't try to sell me their home assembly service. So on to the self service aisles I went with my little list in my sweaty, eager hand.

Now I don't know if you all are aware of this, but a queen size mattress that is not rolled up is FREAKIN' HUGE. Guess what my mattress wasn't? ROLLED UP is what it wasn't. There I am with my little cart, already loaded down with seven boxes containing a slatted bed base, two six and a half foot high - or in this case, long - bookcases, and what felt like an 800 lb. drawer unit, staring up at a fully unrolled queen size mattress.

Suddenly I remembered going to Kennedy Space Center when I was a kid, and seeing the giant transport thing they always used to haul the Saturn V rockets from the vehicle assembly building out to the launch pad. I looked at the mattress. I looked at the cart. And I thought to myself, if we can put a man on the moon, dammit, I CAN DO THIS.

And then I thought a far more sensible series of thoughts and went to get some help. We had to get another cart and it took both me and a very nice Ikea dude to shift the mattress and get the two carts up to the checkout, where the Ikea dude left me to my own devices. Getting the carts from the checkout over to the delivery counter was an even more terrifying ordeal, since I was on my own trying to pull two very heavy carts - one of which really wanted to do endless donuts in front of the exit doors, and another that was struggling valiantly against the mattress's overwhelming instinct to assume its natural position of lying flat out on any surface available.

Thankfully no blood was shed, although I think I came *this* close to knocking a poor small Asian woman clean off a couch in the furniture pickup area. Everyone else was very understanding and kept as far away from the Frau Kaleun Ikea Juggernaut as possible.

Anyway all the stuff is being delivered to the condo on Saturday. After getting that set up I went back into the Marketplace section and bought a set of sheets since I have no queen size bedding at all. For blankets and a comforter if I need one I can just use what I've got now until I find something else I like. I don't have a bed over there yet so the mattress will be on the floor anyway.

But with the mattress in place, all I need is to get the master bathroom clean and functional and get the office set up and get internet service over there and I can start moving in what I need to actually stay there! Maybe by next weekend if all goes well.

I also need to get a forwarding order on file with the post office, I had mail at the condo today with a big "?" on it next to my name cuz I guess the mail carrier is questioning if the addressee actually lives there. And I need to start changing my home address with all the places where I do business... none of them send me snail mail that really matters, but I guess they should have the new address on file as soon as I can get to it.

By the time I got out of Ikea it was after 7 PM so I ended up just going to the condo and leaving the stuff I'd bought and coming on home. Too late to get started on any projects tonight and I was SO tired. Tomorrow I want to get over there and do the carpets in the spare bedrooms and maybe get started on the desk altho that may have to wait until the weekend. I'll need to be over there early on Saturday anyway waiting for the delivery so I'll likely have all day to work on it.

05-02-13, 07:52 PM	#9
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	TONIGHT ON THIS OLD CONDO: Frau Kaleun goes to Ikea! So, I bought a mattress. And after having a lie-down on pretty much everything there that wasn't designed for poor college students with far more resilient bodies than mine, the one I picked out was about $500 less than the one I thought I was going to want. So to celebrate the fact that I was saving so much on the mattress, I decided to go ahead and get the drawer unit and two bookcases for the office. It was a flat delivery fee for everything, so I figured if I'm paying for a delivery and I was expecting to spend the extra money anyway, I might as well get some other things I want now and have them bring it on over all at one time. Anyway the guy looked up all the items I wanted and printed me out a list and told me it would be $59 for delivery if I went to the self service area and got them all on a cart myself and paid for them and just took them to the delivery counter. "But will I be able to get the mattress on the cart and take it up to the checkout?" "Oh sure, that should be no problem. Just ask someone up there for assistance if you need help lifting it onto the cart." Well, okay, some of their mattress DO come rolled up. And he's the expert from the mattress department. At least he didn't try to sell me their home assembly service. So on to the self service aisles I went with my little list in my sweaty, eager hand. Now I don't know if you all are aware of this, but a queen size mattress that is not rolled up is FREAKIN' HUGE. Guess what my mattress wasn't? ROLLED UP is what it wasn't. There I am with my little cart, already loaded down with seven boxes containing a slatted bed base, two six and a half foot high - or in this case, long - bookcases, and what felt like an 800 lb. drawer unit, staring up at a fully unrolled queen size mattress. Suddenly I remembered going to Kennedy Space Center when I was a kid, and seeing the giant transport thing they always used to haul the Saturn V rockets from the vehicle assembly building out to the launch pad. I looked at the mattress. I looked at the cart. And I thought to myself, if we can put a man on the moon, dammit, I CAN DO THIS. And then I thought a far more sensible series of thoughts and went to get some help. We had to get another cart and it took both me and a very nice Ikea dude to shift the mattress and get the two carts up to the checkout, where the Ikea dude left me to my own devices. Getting the carts from the checkout over to the delivery counter was an even more terrifying ordeal, since I was on my own trying to pull two very heavy carts - one of which really wanted to do endless donuts in front of the exit doors, and another that was struggling valiantly against the mattress's overwhelming instinct to assume its natural position of lying flat out on any surface available. Thankfully no blood was shed, although I think I came this close to knocking a poor small Asian woman clean off a couch in the furniture pickup area. Everyone else was very understanding and kept as far away from the Frau Kaleun Ikea Juggernaut as possible. Anyway all the stuff is being delivered to the condo on Saturday. After getting that set up I went back into the Marketplace section and bought a set of sheets since I have no queen size bedding at all. For blankets and a comforter if I need one I can just use what I've got now until I find something else I like. I don't have a bed over there yet so the mattress will be on the floor anyway. But with the mattress in place, all I need is to get the master bathroom clean and functional and get the office set up and get internet service over there and I can start moving in what I need to actually stay there! Maybe by next weekend if all goes well. I also need to get a forwarding order on file with the post office, I had mail at the condo today with a big "?" on it next to my name cuz I guess the mail carrier is questioning if the addressee actually lives there. And I need to start changing my home address with all the places where I do business... none of them send me snail mail that really matters, but I guess they should have the new address on file as soon as I can get to it. By the time I got out of Ikea it was after 7 PM so I ended up just going to the condo and leaving the stuff I'd bought and coming on home. Too late to get started on any projects tonight and I was SO tired. Tomorrow I want to get over there and do the carpets in the spare bedrooms and maybe get started on the desk altho that may have to wait until the weekend. I'll need to be over there early on Saturday anyway waiting for the delivery so I'll likely have all day to work on it.