Have no children

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Betonov

Yes it is.

But only when someone reacts it's hostile.
If I make someone angry and he simply walks away, I don't find him hostile.

Hostile is also a state. Not just a action.

Let's take a look at at the full text:

I decided not to have children. My family was full of tension and anger, and then I noticed that many others were too. Such a family life was in no way attractive. When older, often I saw parents rebuke their children for playing with me, or even in my vicinity, assuming it would bother me — without waiting to see if I objected. Rebuking those children had become an ingrained, automatic habit. To see this made me sad for them, but I knew I would be the same as a parent. I would not be able cope with a frequently crying baby without becoming upset and angry.

If this does not read as a person that has a poor outlook on family and child rearing, I don't know what does. His family is full of tension and anger. He apparently believe all families are because he see many others are. Family is not attractive to him as a result. Why would he want kids if this is true in his mind? Rebuking children apparently is ingrained. The author has some issues. He sees himself as one of those rebuking parents. The rest of the article is nothing but a good cover up to his real issue IMO.

[Skybird]

Okay, let's stop fantasizing about the man's "real issues", for nobody here knows them, nobody here is his psychiatrist, and he gave some more arguments on what he was about than just talking about his family.

Let's stick to what he actually said.

[MH]

Originally Posted by Skybird

Okay, let's stop fantasizing about the man's "real issues", for nobody here knows them, nobody here is his psychiatrist, and he gave some more arguments on what he was about than just talking about his family.

Let's stick to what he actually said.

Question is what came first his personal issues and then grand justifications or the other way around.

As i said i don't like the idea of world being run by bitter old men with personal issues.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Skybird

Okay, let's stop fantasizing about the man's "real issues", for nobody here knows them, nobody here is his psychiatrist, and he gave some more arguments on what he was about than just talking about his family.

Let's stick to what he actually said.

Where might the fantasy be? The first paragraph lays out his childhood.A family full of anger and tension. Was this just filler for the essay?

I read this as ''I never heard of contraception''

Doesn't work like that Betanov, if he was getting use of those he would probably be happier and not lamenting about babies making him angry, its the lack of release you see, a build up of the inner tension.

Okay, let's stop fantasizing about the man's "real issues", for nobody here knows them

errrr .....he said he had a bad family life and doesn't like families...plain enough isn't it.
Could this be a link to your views on the topic?

[Betonov]

Originally Posted by Tribesman

Doesn't work like that Betanov, if he was getting use of those he would probably be happier and not lamenting about babies making him angry, its the lack of release you see, a build up of the inner tension.

Lack of sex is not the only thing that builds up inner tension.
Not being able to stand up to people that damaged you because of their own issues, because one cannot go against ones parents, is far worse.

[Betonov]

So he has issues and doesn't want to have children so he may not transfer the issues on another generation. Good kid. Not strong enough to change his bad parts in the personalty but smart enough not to let them pass on.

He has issues. The issues I had manifested with an atempted suicide, not a decision not to have kids. And he's the one who's hostile. Svašta

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Betonov

So he has issues and doesn't want to have children so he may not transfer the issues on another generation. Good kid. Not strong enough to change his bad parts in the personalty but smart enough not to let them pass on.

He has issues. The issues I had manifested with an atempted suicide, not a decision not to have kids. And he's the one who's hostile. Svašta

He says nothing of passing on his issue to another generation. It is all about saving the world by not having kids.

[Betonov]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

He says nothing of passing on his issue to another generation. It is all about saving the world by not having kids.

He means it by the famed first paragraph. I can also say describe my fammily by tension and anger. It's not a filler, it's describing his background. And I can relate. I am displaying the same tension and anger I got from my fammily. You can't see it on the forum since I don't post in an angry mood, but it's there. His biggest mistake was, that he asumed everyone will see it like he sees it. But only those of us that were verbally abused by our own mothers can see it. Only those of us that can relate.

Good for you if you can't relate. But some of us had to cope with verbal and pshycological abuse (never physical though) that we would be better off unborn. That's his message. Such issues are carried over.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Betonov

He means it by the famed first paragraph. I can also say describe my fammily by tension and anger. It's not a filler, it's describing his background. And I can relate. I am displaying the same tension and anger I got from my fammily. You can't see it on the forum since I don't post in an angry mood, but it's there. His biggest mistake was, that he asumed everyone will see it like he sees it. But only those of us that were verbally abused by our own mothers can see it. Only those of us that can relate.

Good for you if you can't relate. But some of us had to cope with verbal and pshycological abuse (never physical though) that we would be better off unborn. That's his message. Such issues are carried over.

Everyone can relate to a dark family issue. Most, if not all, families are dysfunctional in one form or another. And on some level. Myself included.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

If this does not read as a person that has a poor outlook on family and child rearing, I don't know what does. His family is full of tension and anger. He apparently believe all families are because he see many others are.

In what you quoted he says that he knows he would be the same way as a parent (as his parents were with him). Whether it's a fact that he would be that way or not, it sounds like he either believes or fears that he would be what most of us would consider a "bad" parent.

Given that a lot of "bad" parenting and family dynamics are in fact passed down from one generation to the next even despite the best intentions and hopes of those involved, it's not unreasonable for him to believe (or fear) that he would not be any better as a parent than his own parents were.

For someone who feels they are likely to be very bad at parenting, and wouldn't be able to provide a better environment than the negative one they experienced, not having children is exactly the opposite of being "selfish" IMO. It's certainly a lot better than having a bunch of kids he isn't able to raise in a healthy and positive environment.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

In what you quoted he says that he knows he would be the same way as a parent (as his parents were with him). Whether it's a fact that he would be that way or not, it sounds like he either believes or fears that he would be what most of us would consider a "bad" parent.

Given that a lot of "bad" parenting and family dynamics are in fact passed down from one generation to the next even despite the best intentions and hopes of those involved, it's not unreasonable for him to believe (or fear) that he would not be any better as a parent than his own parents were.

For someone who feels they are likely to be very bad at parenting, and wouldn't be able to provide a better environment than the negative one they experienced, not having children is exactly the opposite of being "selfish" IMO. It's certainly a lot better than having a bunch of kids he isn't able to raise in a healthy and positive environment.

Not all bad parenting is passed down. Many make it a point not to be like their parents. But I do agree bad parenting is passed down. Kids are products of their environment. But, IMO, that is as far as it goes for this author. I see his position as has very little to do with saving the planet.