Put down the wrench, Bernard!!!

[Captain_AJ]

Good Story ,, iam laughing away here !! and good advice !!

[Hinrich Schwab]

Bernard, huh...here is a story of how to deal with Bernard.
********************
"Hey Bernard, we have a problem in the stern torpedo tube. Check it out for us."

"Jawohl, Herr Kaleun"

*Bernard crawls into tube*

"SEAL TUBE 5!"

"Sealed, sir!"

"Ready Tube 5!"

"Flooded and equalized, Sir!"

"Open Muzzle Door!"

"Tube 5 Ready, Sir!"

"Tube 5, LOS!!!!!!"

FWOOOSH!!!!

"Sir, was it necessary to launch the man out the tube?"

"Bernard was a problem. BdU has a saying when dealing with anything, especially a problem; Be more aggressive."

"I see, sir."
****************
That is what I would do with Bernard.

[krashkart]

We keep Bernard busy with a woodcarver's puzzle. As long as he has plenty of bandages, scrap wood and a chip knife we're happy and he's out of the way.

[misha1967]

Thanks!

It's one of the things I do to add immersion. Think up background stories that fit, more or less, with what's going on in the game. And then sometimes I just go plain silly

[krashkart]

Originally Posted by misha1967

Thanks!

It's one of the things I do to add immersion. Think up background stories that fit, more or less, with what's going on in the game. And then sometimes I just go plain silly

I do that from time to time, depending on how humorously sour a patrol goes. In SH3 I had a bad habit of beaching my sub near Portsmouth, much to the delight of the coastal defense guards. Nearby citizens held a community picnic while we tried to jigger the boat off the banks with borrowed planks and towing trucks. Eventual capture of my crew led to Good Times for the constables, and a local newspaper headline summed up our glorious attack on the harbor:

Local Heroes: Gerry Submarine Aids Spring Plowing

...complete with a full-page picture of our Uboat rolled over on its side in a pasture like a dead whale.

I'm surprised that BdU gave me another command after that. The longshoremen in the area had made Admiral Doenitz aware of our presence when they wrote to him and told him that they could hear our Uboat clanging and scraping over the anti-sub nets shortly before we plowed our way out of the water. They even told him to either start training our crews or stop sending Uboats to England, that simple.

Some days it's tough being a Kaleun.



EDIT:

Clipping from the paper that day:

..."Even the Yanks can sail better than that", one local man told the Portsmouth Herald after a German Uboat beached itself near the harbor on Monday, apparently in an attempt to defect to the United Kingdom; although the constabulary will not yet release details as to why the German crew decided to...

[misha1967]

Originally Posted by krashkart

I do that from time to time, depending on how humorously sour a patrol goes. In SH3 I had a bad habit of beaching my sub near Portsmouth, much to the delight of the coastal defense guards. Nearby citizens held a community picnic while we tried to jigger the boat off the banks with borrowed planks and towing trucks. Eventual capture of my crew led to Good Times for the constables, and a local newspaper headline summed up our glorious attack on the harbor:

Local Heroes: Gerry Submarine Aids Spring Plowing

...complete with a full-page picture of our Uboat rolled over on its side in a pasture like a dead whale.

That's some good writing there, my fellow Kaleun! You're an inspiration!

If you want a true story about the single most inept warship in naval history (although it's neither German nor a U-boat, but it DOES have destroyers, WWII, torpedoes and even a depth charge there, so it's not completely off topic) that had my sides splitting for hours after I read it, read the sad (and hilarious!) tale of the USS William D. Porter.

I have in the past been told that I have a knack for creative writing, but nothing I could ever think up in my wildest imagination can top that true story.

I think, based on the dates, that it is the "what happened next?" story that covers what happened between the time that Bernard went overboard off the coast of South Carolina as I was patrolling there during Paukenschlag in one of my SH3 careers (he so wanted to go swimming with the dolphins and we sort of forgot about him when we had to crash dive) and when he showed up some time thereafter in Lorient. He never wanted to talk about it, though, but I suspect that he somehow managed to sneak aboard the USS William D. Porter as a seaman of the US Navy in his attempt to get back home).

[Wodin]

Is Bernard a character of SH3...as he is missing from my U Boat!

It's been years since I played SH3, and I barely played 4 as it wasn't the same in those yankee subs.