Congrats to Dan--he's a dad!

AVGWarhawk · 10-23-11, 06:19 PM

Congratulations to the family now consisting of 3! You now enter a new chapter in your lives. No sleep. Soiled undergarment changing. New language that is somewhere between gurgling and Klingon. Everyday those little eyes will look into yours expecting all the answers. It will take a lifetime to answer them all. Good luck and God bless as you embark into fatherhood and motherhood.

kiwi_2005 · 10-23-11, 06:26 PM

Gratz Dan

Lord Justice · 10-23-11, 07:30 PM

I am much pleased for you Dan, and wish good health and good future to ba ba.

Platapus · 10-23-11, 07:56 PM

Just remember that no matter how cute they look now, a baby is just a future teenager. Welcome to hell.

Children are some of life's most precious treasures....

As such they should be kept buried deep in underground vaults.

Read your bible. What was god's ultimate punishment for the sins of Adam and Eve? They had children.

To prepare yourself for fatherhood, go to the local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your paycheck paid directly to their office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time in peace.

Here is how you practice feeding your baby.

1. Hollow out a melon

2. Make a small hole in the side of the melon and suspend the melon from the ceiling. Make it swing side to side

3. Get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an airplane.

4. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone

5. Tip the rest in your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor

6. Once you can do this, you are ready to feed your baby.

10-23-11, 06:19 PM	#1
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,276 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	Congratulations to the family now consisting of 3! You now enter a new chapter in your lives. No sleep. Soiled undergarment changing. New language that is somewhere between gurgling and Klingon. Everyday those little eyes will look into yours expecting all the answers. It will take a lifetime to answer them all. Good luck and God bless as you embark into fatherhood and motherhood. __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

10-23-11, 06:26 PM	#2
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Gratz Dan __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

10-23-11, 07:30 PM	#3
Lord Justice Previously 4Para Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Britain Posts: 609 Downloads: 51 Uploads: 0	I am much pleased for you Dan, and wish good health and good future to ba ba. __________________ If you cant be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning!

10-23-11, 07:56 PM	#4
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,380 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Just remember that no matter how cute they look now, a baby is just a future teenager. Welcome to hell. Children are some of life's most precious treasures.... As such they should be kept buried deep in underground vaults. Read your bible. What was god's ultimate punishment for the sins of Adam and Eve? They had children. To prepare yourself for fatherhood, go to the local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your paycheck paid directly to their office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time in peace. Here is how you practice feeding your baby. 1. Hollow out a melon 2. Make a small hole in the side of the melon and suspend the melon from the ceiling. Make it swing side to side 3. Get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an airplane. 4. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone 5. Tip the rest in your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor 6. Once you can do this, you are ready to feed your baby. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.