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Old 07-31-11, 06:49 PM   #1
Gut Wrench
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Week One of the preseason to the Subsim league, where 12 teams will fight it out to compete in the Subsim Torpedo Bowl.

With nominations opening earlier in the week, there are a couple of surprises already, and we haven't even made it to draft day. There are currently nine teams entered into the league, but the most surprising of the teams was Coach Mookie selling out his former team for the price of two lap dances at the Republican Headquarters Stripper Convention.

"Yeah, it was time to run their sorry asses out of town," Coach Mookie proclaimed in an exclusive interview. "They aren't the first team to be run out of Houston, and they probably won't be the last."

Ironically, Coach Mookie has announced the acquisition of one of the expansion teams, scooping out Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch to take the first team, the Ghost Monkeys. The Ghost Monkeys will be wearing the reverse Raider colors of silver and black for home games, and Orangutang orange and ruby red as their away colors.

The second item of interest this week was the return of Plexico Burress, signing a new deal to compete in the Subsim league.

"Yeah, both Michael Vick and I have come through the junior ranks of the NFL and Penitentary Reform League. I saw what Michael did last year and thought I was ready to step up to the big league in the Subsim league," Burress said at a press conference at the Subsim Clubhouse.

When asked where he thought he might like to play, he said "anywhere they don't have an ATF bureau."

Next week, it is anticipated that the final line up up of managers and their teams will be in place, and we'll look at the newcomers to the league, and just what that means to a couple of international based teams.

For the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), this is Gut Wrench covering the preseason of the 2011 Subsim League.
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