Bad childhood I want to stop thinking about. Any ideas?

Castout · 06-03-11, 05:33 AM

I just want to add there is a mistake that most victims do

To deem their victimization too personally,

It is NOT YOU. You just happen to be there at the time. It helps if victim could at least try to detach themselves out of their victimization in a less personal way. It wasn't because of you. It was probably even not because of the perpetrator but because of conditioning prevailing in the perpetrator at the time. It was never personal even when the perpetrator think otherwise. It wasn't because of you. So don't be too hard on yourself and have a relief KNOWING it WASN'T you. it could have been anybody else. If you can, take it one step higher. Be glad it happened to you than anybody else.

danasan · 06-03-11, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Castout

I just want to add there is a mistake that most victims do

To deem their victimization too personally,

It is NOT YOU. You just happen to be there at the time... .

Thank you! I was just going to say that. It is a main progress to find exactly that fact out.

danasan

Castout · 06-03-11, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danasan

Thank you! I was just going to say that. It is a main progress to find exactly that fact out.

danasan

No problem

yubba · 06-03-11, 07:41 PM

I feel for you bro, been there too, best thing you can do is turn the rear veiw mirrors down, get your nose into the wind and don't look back, you got a lot ahead of you.

THE_MASK · 06-03-11, 09:36 PM

Try to find a good phyciatrist , they can help you and there are many drugs that help but its just finding the right ones (not illegal ones) . Anything else i could say would be just my opinion and not fact ..

NeonSamurai · 06-03-11, 10:47 PM

I'm not aware of any drugs that can help with bad/traumatic memories. I would suggest a therapist over a Psychiatrist as few Psychiatrists do therapy (which is what you would need). I don't think any drugs will help, other than maybe an SSRI, but I am quite doubtful you are having serotonin problems (ie major depression), or you wouldn't be posting about your problems.

Skybird · 06-04-11, 04:04 AM

Hold your horses gentlemen. No need to talk about pharmaceutics and therapists here. From what he wrote, I do not see RM as a candidate for psychotherapy or medication. I also do not see him as somebody actually suffering from depression right now. Though he might be vulnerable to it - like we all are, to varying degrees.

And all-time-high-pills I reject for principal reasons, always.

It's a bit en vogue to always call either for drugs or for psychotherapy these days. Last but not least that is becasue psychology is pressing real hard to convince the public it were an indispensable actor that must claim representation in each and every field. But the psychology they taught us at university is anything but that. It has its purposes when it is useful, but these I limit to a much wider degree than psychology itself does.

Prescription of drugs is done far too uncritical today.

On a saidenote, a study has raised voices in the EU, they now consider to add lithium into the drinking water to decrease suicide rates in the EU.

Can somebody drop a couple of bombs onto Brussel, please.

Castout · 06-04-11, 04:49 AM

Like Penguin said a sport hobby or martial arts study in the long run would be beneficial to both the body and the mind. It would help with discipline too which in turn helps you to focus and calm the state of mind, making you stronger outside and inside.

This life is a mind game actually don't let anyone or anything play with or dictate yours. Be the master of the game, all you need to have is the will, willingness to create the initiative, courage and a good sense of humor to even laugh at your own situation or yourself when necessary. Don't live in fear of anything or of failure, after all we will ALL successfully die in the end. All of us from ones deemed most successful to the most unfortunate people imaginable. Being thought highly by mankind would be as meaningless as being thought lowly to the dead. It's between the creator and the dead in the end and nothing comes in between or remain hidden to the creator.

Skybird · 06-04-11, 06:10 AM

Tai Chi, it is said.

I know it a bit, but from a psycho-practical point of view for Western trainees embedded in the usual Western lifestyle, may I offer an alternative.

That is Kum Nye. Deriivng from the Tibetan tradition and adapted to especially the Western cultural context and lifestyle by Tartang Tulku (a Lama/Rinpoche living in the US and teaching at universities, colleges, as well as cooperating with business and sciences), it avoids the ballet-like choreographies that can trick the newcomer to Tai Chi into just repeating robotic sequences and thinking that this is what it ius about: copying. Tai Chi can lead terribly wrong if you do not have a real good teacher. I do not devalue it if you have a good teacher, but good techers are rare - very rare, for this and mediation in general, believe me, there are plenty of pseudo-gurus instead.

The Kum Nye form developed by Tartang Tulku, is working without siuch seqeunces, but with quite ordinary movements - but these done in super slow motion: raise the arm and let it sink - and take 5 minutes for it. Enormous muscle stress and periods of deep muscle relief go in sequence, it reminds a bit of principles from Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen (body-focussed psychoanalysis). I have worked with Kum Nye and Zazen in sequence when giving meditation courses, and saw it being embraced by people easily.

However, the method is almost unknown, and thus it may hard to find a course, though it should be easier in America than in europe, since Tartang Tulku is better known there. But it is as effective, but much easier to learn. Some of it's many exercises equal heavy sports, in their physical demand.

To learn more about what it is and what it does, why not try a book for information. In German, there is only one available (last time I checked), but if you enter "Kum Nye" at American Amazon, you find several entries, for example:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...um+nye&x=0&y=0

From a teacher'S point of view, I am a great fan of combining Shamata and Vipassyana (relaxed awareness and focussed concentration) meditation, as well as combining mental and body-focussed meditations.

NeonSamurai · 06-04-11, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skybird

Hold your horses gentlemen. No need to talk about pharmaceutics and therapists here. From what he wrote, I do not see RM as a candidate for psychotherapy or medication. I also do not see him as somebody actually suffering from depression right now. Though he might be vulnerable to it - like we all are, to varying degrees.

No he doesn't need therapy at this point from what I have read (as I said in my previous post), unless these memories are causing serious distress or quality of life issues, which then would require therapy, not drugs. Also like I said I don't think he is a candidate for clinical depression, or he wouldn't be posting here telling us about his problems. My point was more that issues like this are better treated by therapy (like CBT) rather than psychopharmaceuticals.

06-03-11, 05:33 AM	#1
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	I just want to add there is a mistake that most victims do To deem their victimization too personally, It is NOT YOU. You just happen to be there at the time. It helps if victim could at least try to detach themselves out of their victimization in a less personal way. It wasn't because of you. It was probably even not because of the perpetrator but because of conditioning prevailing in the perpetrator at the time. It was never personal even when the perpetrator think otherwise. It wasn't because of you. So don't be too hard on yourself and have a relief KNOWING it WASN'T you. it could have been anybody else. If you can, take it one step higher. Be glad it happened to you than anybody else. __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/

06-03-11, 10:47 PM	#6
NeonSamurai Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Socialist Republic of Kanadia Posts: 3,044 Downloads: 25 Uploads: 0	I'm not aware of any drugs that can help with bad/traumatic memories. I would suggest a therapist over a Psychiatrist as few Psychiatrists do therapy (which is what you would need). I don't think any drugs will help, other than maybe an SSRI, but I am quite doubtful you are having serotonin problems (ie major depression), or you wouldn't be posting about your problems. __________________ SH3 Newbie Guide Links and other helpfull stuff

06-04-11, 04:04 AM	#7
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,728 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Hold your horses gentlemen. No need to talk about pharmaceutics and therapists here. From what he wrote, I do not see RM as a candidate for psychotherapy or medication. I also do not see him as somebody actually suffering from depression right now. Though he might be vulnerable to it - like we all are, to varying degrees. And all-time-high-pills I reject for principal reasons, always. It's a bit en vogue to always call either for drugs or for psychotherapy these days. Last but not least that is becasue psychology is pressing real hard to convince the public it were an indispensable actor that must claim representation in each and every field. But the psychology they taught us at university is anything but that. It has its purposes when it is useful, but these I limit to a much wider degree than psychology itself does. Prescription of drugs is done far too uncritical today. On a saidenote, a study has raised voices in the EU, they now consider to add lithium into the drinking water to decrease suicide rates in the EU. Can somebody drop a couple of bombs onto Brussel, please. __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

06-04-11, 04:49 AM	#8
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	Like Penguin said a sport hobby or martial arts study in the long run would be beneficial to both the body and the mind. It would help with discipline too which in turn helps you to focus and calm the state of mind, making you stronger outside and inside. This life is a mind game actually don't let anyone or anything play with or dictate yours. Be the master of the game, all you need to have is the will, willingness to create the initiative, courage and a good sense of humor to even laugh at your own situation or yourself when necessary. Don't live in fear of anything or of failure, after all we will ALL successfully die in the end. All of us from ones deemed most successful to the most unfortunate people imaginable. Being thought highly by mankind would be as meaningless as being thought lowly to the dead. It's between the creator and the dead in the end and nothing comes in between or remain hidden to the creator. __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/

06-04-11, 06:10 AM	#9
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,728 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Tai Chi, it is said. I know it a bit, but from a psycho-practical point of view for Western trainees embedded in the usual Western lifestyle, may I offer an alternative. That is Kum Nye. Deriivng from the Tibetan tradition and adapted to especially the Western cultural context and lifestyle by Tartang Tulku (a Lama/Rinpoche living in the US and teaching at universities, colleges, as well as cooperating with business and sciences), it avoids the ballet-like choreographies that can trick the newcomer to Tai Chi into just repeating robotic sequences and thinking that this is what it ius about: copying. Tai Chi can lead terribly wrong if you do not have a real good teacher. I do not devalue it if you have a good teacher, but good techers are rare - very rare, for this and mediation in general, believe me, there are plenty of pseudo-gurus instead. The Kum Nye form developed by Tartang Tulku, is working without siuch seqeunces, but with quite ordinary movements - but these done in super slow motion: raise the arm and let it sink - and take 5 minutes for it. Enormous muscle stress and periods of deep muscle relief go in sequence, it reminds a bit of principles from Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen (body-focussed psychoanalysis). I have worked with Kum Nye and Zazen in sequence when giving meditation courses, and saw it being embraced by people easily. However, the method is almost unknown, and thus it may hard to find a course, though it should be easier in America than in europe, since Tartang Tulku is better known there. But it is as effective, but much easier to learn. Some of it's many exercises equal heavy sports, in their physical demand. To learn more about what it is and what it does, why not try a book for information. In German, there is only one available (last time I checked), but if you enter "Kum Nye" at American Amazon, you find several entries, for example: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...um+nye&x=0&y=0 From a teacher'S point of view, I am a great fan of combining Shamata and Vipassyana (relaxed awareness and focussed concentration) meditation, as well as combining mental and body-focussed meditations. __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

06-03-11, 07:41 PM	#4
yubba Admiral Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: in a neighborhood near you Posts: 2,478 Downloads: 293 Uploads: 2	I feel for you bro, been there too, best thing you can do is turn the rear veiw mirrors down, get your nose into the wind and don't look back, you got a lot ahead of you.

06-03-11, 09:36 PM	#5
THE_MASK Ace of the deep . Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 9,226 Downloads: 901 Uploads: 73	Try to find a good phyciatrist , they can help you and there are many drugs that help but its just finding the right ones (not illegal ones) . Anything else i could say would be just my opinion and not fact ..