I'm writing a movie

[Anthony W.]

That makes sense

I figured on the narrator giving brief intros to the main characters first, with a lot of surprising and revealing things coming from the characters themselves later

*Spoiler Alert*

Neil is a coward

Oh, and I'm considering adding a bit more to the bar scene

[Growler]

Originally Posted by Anthony W.

That makes sense
...with a lot of surprising and revealing things coming from the characters themselves later
...[SNIP]...
Oh, and I'm considering adding a bit more to the bar scene

First part: Yup - the characters are/should be the reason the audience is there (unless you're making a special effects showcase, in which case, I'll bow out here). Let the characters, through dialog and action, tell the tale. We want it to happen to them and with them, not hear about it from a disembodied voice. There's no emotional investment in a Narrator.

Second part: Maybe. When screenwriting, it's usually better to start simple and add gradually, rather than cut excess away, since cutting is more likely to lead to continuity problems like characters who who thought you cut suddenly chirping in a line in a scene. Besides, didn't we get enough bubbleheads in bars in Das Boot?

If you've not read it already, read David Mamet's Bambi vs. Godzilla. It's enlightening, and it's terrifying. If you can make it past all that and remain dedicated to your story, get ready for one helluva ride.

My wife and her writing partner have been at the screenwriting business for about ten years now; it looks like their first big commercial success project may begin filming this summer. Between them, they've got some forty projects - film, novels, and cable TV - in various stages of development. You CAN do it, but be prepared to work hard and sell yourself to make it fly.

Keep me in the loop with this project, if you like. Let's see where this goes.

[Anthony W.]

Originally Posted by Growler

Keep me in the loop with this project, if you like. Let's see where this goes.

Thats the plan

I might go ahead and film the first scene minus the intro to see how it looks

Time to get looking for a bar...

And I think I'll go ahead and rewatch Das Boot so I don't make it too similar

If I can't get a bar, I'll make some minor edits and change it to an Officer's Club - I'm sure I can rent it for a night

[Anthony W.]

Added control room scene - where the destination and objective of the patrol is revealed.

[Anthony W.]

I added a bunk room scene

[Anthony W.]

Made edits for realism

[Anthony W.]

I might be restarting this purely out of boredom.