Am I being a jerk or not?

gimpy117 · 10-18-10, 06:17 PM

So Thursday, I Dropped the guy across the hall from me off at the train station so he could spend the weekend with his Girlfriend In Ann arbor. Just like the last time. So that was cool whatever...Ill drive him there for free and not expect gas money. So tonight, 3 hours before his expected arrival he texts me saying "hey can you pick me up at the train station" The problem is, I have plans with this girl i really like that I made this morning long before he called me. I feel like Its not fair for somebody who just had an entire weekend with "the girl he loves" to expect me to drop my plans with a girl i really like, you know. And by the way...he can't take a taxi because he's broke because he quit his job in the summer "because i didn't like it". While I have a car and am sitting on some cash because i worked 40+ hours a week.

But still, am I doing the right thing? or am i being an ass...you decide.

Takeda Shingen · 10-18-10, 06:19 PM

How long does it take to get to the train station?

Castout · 10-18-10, 06:25 PM

It's okay to me. You just need to explain to the guy that you have a date with a girl so you can't pick him up. You just need to tell him that so he would not wait for ya.

unless there's no other public transportation like bus . . . .which is unlikely

TarJak · 10-18-10, 06:30 PM

It depends on how good a mate he is. Is he just cadging a lift because you are a soft touch or are you tight?

I'd say stick to your plans and no bother. He's got to get his ass home from the station and if you're not available, then that's his problem not yours.

gimpy117 · 10-18-10, 06:30 PM

And yeah..I'm really that good of pals with him. But i "am the only guy he knows with a car"
but yes tarjak i think he figured that I was a nice guy and would do it automatically for him

its about a 10 min ride through downtown. the problem my date is right when he wants me to pick him up. And I don't know about public transportation this late. If he would have picked an earlier train it would not be an issue. Essentially he's counting on my to bail him out because he didnt want an earlier train.

TarJak · 10-18-10, 06:35 PM

His problem them. I wouldn't sweat it.

kiwi_2005 · 10-18-10, 08:46 PM

Take ya Gf along with you and pick him up. He's a mate and you should know better! No matter what, mates come first.

Castout · 10-18-10, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiwi_2005

Take ya Gf along with you and pick him up. He's a mate and you should know better! No matter what, mates come first.

That is what Mr. Nice guy would do . . . .but . . . .sometimes being nice isn't nice.

People tend to use you. At least tell him that you wouldn't be able to pick him up.

SteamWake · 10-18-10, 09:39 PM

Nope sorry call a cab.

Takeda Shingen · 10-18-10, 09:41 PM

If he was your roomate, I would have suggested picking him up, as the inconvenience of going to the station would be outweighed by the inconvenience of having to live with a hostile roomate for a year.

gimpy117 · 10-19-10, 12:52 AM

luckily he isn't he found another way back. I told him sorry i was busy...but I had a commitment

GoldenRivet · 10-19-10, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimpy117

luckily he isn't he found another way back. I told him sorry i was busy...but I had a commitment

You did the right thing.

If it were me i would have just told him "man, normally i would have no problem with it but im busy with some other stuff right now."

doing someone a favor is ok

doing someone 10 favors and you end up getting walked all over.

Its like the sign over my wife's desk at work reads "I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day... tomorrow is not looking good for you either."

sometimes you just have to say no, that doesnt make you a jerk

Reece · 10-19-10, 02:08 AM

If it's only 10 minutes by car then it still can't be that far, tell him to walk, will do him good!!

Castout · 10-19-10, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldenRivet

Its like the sign over my wife's desk at work reads "I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day... tomorrow is not looking good for you either."

sometimes you just have to say no, that doesnt make you a jerk

Your wife is creepy . . . . . .glad she's taken

.

On the last sentence couldn't agree more

Jimbuna · 10-19-10, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gimpy117

luckily he isn't he found another way back. I told him sorry i was busy...but I had a commitment

You were right in your actions

Now don't forget to fet on that UK bound flight and pick me up from work tomorrow afternoon

10-18-10, 06:17 PM	#1
gimpy117 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Kalamazoo, MI Posts: 3,243 Downloads: 108 Uploads: 0	Am I being a jerk or not? So Thursday, I Dropped the guy across the hall from me off at the train station so he could spend the weekend with his Girlfriend In Ann arbor. Just like the last time. So that was cool whatever...Ill drive him there for free and not expect gas money. So tonight, 3 hours before his expected arrival he texts me saying "hey can you pick me up at the train station" The problem is, I have plans with this girl i really like that I made this morning long before he called me. I feel like Its not fair for somebody who just had an entire weekend with "the girl he loves" to expect me to drop my plans with a girl i really like, you know. And by the way...he can't take a taxi because he's broke because he quit his job in the summer "because i didn't like it". While I have a car and am sitting on some cash because i worked 40+ hours a week. But still, am I doing the right thing? or am i being an ass...you decide. __________________ Member of the Subsim Zombie Army

10-18-10, 06:25 PM	#3
Castout Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Jakarta Posts: 4,794 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 6	It's okay to me. You just need to explain to the guy that you have a date with a girl so you can't pick him up. You just need to tell him that so he would not wait for ya. unless there's no other public transportation like bus . . . .which is unlikely __________________ My blog: http://exposingsingapore.wordpress.com/

10-18-10, 06:30 PM	#5
gimpy117 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Kalamazoo, MI Posts: 3,243 Downloads: 108 Uploads: 0	And yeah..I'm really that good of pals with him. But i "am the only guy he knows with a car" but yes tarjak i think he figured that I was a nice guy and would do it automatically for him its about a 10 min ride through downtown. the problem my date is right when he wants me to pick him up. And I don't know about public transportation this late. If he would have picked an earlier train it would not be an issue. Essentially he's counting on my to bail him out because he didnt want an earlier train. __________________ Member of the Subsim Zombie Army

10-18-10, 08:46 PM	#7
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Take ya Gf along with you and pick him up. He's a mate and you should know better! No matter what, mates come first. __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

10-18-10, 09:39 PM	#9
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Nope sorry call a cab. __________________ Follow the progress of Mr. Mulligan : http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=147648

10-18-10, 06:19 PM	#2
Takeda Shingen Navy Seal Join Date: Mar 2000 Posts: 8,643 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	How long does it take to get to the train station?

10-18-10, 06:30 PM	#4
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	It depends on how good a mate he is. Is he just cadging a lift because you are a soft touch or are you tight? I'd say stick to your plans and no bother. He's got to get his ass home from the station and if you're not available, then that's his problem not yours.

10-18-10, 06:35 PM	#6
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	His problem them. I wouldn't sweat it.

10-18-10, 09:41 PM	#10
Takeda Shingen Navy Seal Join Date: Mar 2000 Posts: 8,643 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	If he was your roomate, I would have suggested picking him up, as the inconvenience of going to the station would be outweighed by the inconvenience of having to live with a hostile roomate for a year.

10-19-10, 12:52 AM	#11
gimpy117 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Kalamazoo, MI Posts: 3,243 Downloads: 108 Uploads: 0	luckily he isn't he found another way back. I told him sorry i was busy...but I had a commitment __________________ Member of the Subsim Zombie Army

10-19-10, 02:08 AM	#13
Reece CINC Pacific Fleet Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Down Under Posts: 34,701 Downloads: 171 Uploads: 0	If it's only 10 minutes by car then it still can't be that far, tell him to walk, will do him good!! __________________ *Sub captains go down with their ship!*