2010 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[mookiemookie]

We're still the best damn 0-3 team in the league!

[Chad]

Poor man..

I'm surprised it was such a close game for us given the predictions.. And yet, you still could of owned up on me by starting one of your backups, and you had 2!!

Poor poor mookie

[mookiemookie]

This is an actual photo of the Yahoo fantasy football committee meeting where they come up with those point predictions:

[Gut Wrench]

BADASSES CRACK ONE
Field sniffing from one behind.


Week four in the race to the Subsim Torpedo Bowl and there remains only one team undefeated, two yet to get their first win, and a whole heap of football left to decide the balance of the games.

But the big talk this week was the word "Bye". Bye bye to points, and there were a lot of teams playing their bye players. The Broncolo's started Thomas Jones and Kellen Winslow (Bye), the Green beans started Ryan Succop (another bye), plus you also have a slew of other teams who had players that may as well been scheduled for the bye - they did nothing. Including: Randy Moss (Show me Your TD's), Mario Manningham, Julian Edelman and the Bills Defense (scoring -4) of the Green Beans, Andre Johnson (Dragons) and Mike Sims Walker and Darren Sproles (minus score as well) for the Taipans.

And just quietly, several coaches are complaining about the lack of scoring TD's by their starters.

Not Coach McBee though, getting his first win of the season against the 107-49. "At 1-3 we're still a chance," he reported at the post game media conference. Across the country even Coach Rick of the Dragons was still upbeat about 2-2, losing out to Every Given Sunday 104-92. The Dragons sit with four other teams at 2-2 looking ahead at the 3-1 teams.

Worth talking about was Coach Mookie breaking the one point hoodoo...getting thumped by the Mudville Nine 102-65. "We got so sick of loosing by one," Mookie reported. "That we just wanted to see if we could loose by a lot." 48 points...that was almost the total points score of the Green Beans.

So as we head into the second quarter of the year, The Badasses stand tall as the red hot burning team to beat. One game back, the Broncolo's, Helmand Nighthawks, a surprise entry by Every Given Sunday and the Mudville Nine are locked at 3-1.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Four, it was one of the teams getting their first win of the year, and done in such decisive fashion. 2 sacks, 4 interceptions, 2 defensive touchdown, and 2 blocked kicks, The Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present the New England Patriots Defense of the Takky Glue, the Week Four MVT.

[mookiemookie]

Winless season possible! Whee!

When do we start being described as "hapless?"

[Gut Wrench]

MOOKIE GETS ONE
...and there's trouble in another cell phone.


Week five in the race to the Subsim Torpedo Bowl and there remains only two contenders to the football immortals; the 1972 Dolphins...and the 2008 Lions.

The fans came out in force to see the best damm 0-4 team in the league, Show Me Your TD's shock one of league leading teams and finally move off the bottom rung of the ladder and advance to 1-4. "As hard as it may be," Coach Mookie proclaimed at the after party function at the Republican Convention Stripper headquarters, "we are still in the hunt for the post season."

How anyone can be in the hunt for the post season when their starters fail to score, or indeed, score negatively, is amazing. Once again, this week, we had players out on the paddock pretending to be goal posts. Greg Olsen (Dragons), Jermichael Finley (Reapers) Mario Manningham (Green Beans) and Steve Smith (Mudville Nine).

Having said that, the Rams Defense scored a total of -3 for the Takky Glue, but that didn't stop them from compiling the second biggest upset of the weekend, downing the front running Every Given Sunday 94 - 74.

After getting a much needed win last week, the Wild Boston terriers were heavy favorites against the Helmand Nighthawks. Through a week of multiple positional changes and one trade, Mr. Chris was able to smear the Terriers with a convincing 111-69 win, moving the Nighthawks to 4-1 to lead the Surface Skimmers division.

Year after year, people talk about the "immortal" teams, the two teams by which all others are held accountable. The 72 Dolphins have yet to pop the champagne as the BP Badasses didn't even need to start Monday night to beat the Mudville Nine 125 - 101. The other team, the 2008 Detroit players are now looking at only one team, as the South West Rockets fall to 0-5. In the "family feud" edition of the league, father Pioneer sent daughter #3 to the lions despite her best score of the year, 143 - 104.

Like all good leagues, the use of cell phones has been brought into question, yet again. The Associated Subsim Writers have learned that at least three coaches have been embroiled in a scandal involving racy pictures. None of the coaches have been identified, but the sender of the racy pics has gone public....because no one else will. The ASW has found the woman at the center of the scandal, sending pics of herself to coaches. More details as they unfold throughout the season.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Five, it was a dynamic performance of 166 yards, 2 TD's and 2 receptions for an additional 23 yards, which stood out, winning in the most lop sided game of the week, 150-58. The Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present the running back Matt Forte of the Really Ded Poets, the Week Five MVT.

[Aramike]

"As hard as it may be," Coach Mookie proclaimed at the after party function at the Republican Convention Stripper headquarters, "we are still in the hunt for the post season."

Nicely done.

[mookiemookie]

Originally Posted by Gut Wrench

"As hard as it may be," Coach Mookie proclaimed at the after party function at the Republican Convention Stripper headquarters, "we are still in the hunt for the post season."

We were having a Tea Party of our own.

[Gut Wrench]

PIVOTAL SUCCESS
...and for some, failure.


Some people will do anything to stop the Press reporting the fantasy football league, even if it means infecting the Subsim website with supposed malware. Mark my word, when we get to the end of the regular season, coaches are going to look back and point to Week Six as pivotal to their success...or failure.

Let's starts with the Immortals...the 2008 Lions are popping the champagne as the youngest coach in the league gets her first W, edging the Reapers 73-70. "Good thing everyone thought Calvin Johnson was ill, otherwise he might have had a great day," Coach Janeva said at her first press conference....which she had to be escorted into after security locked her out not knowing who she was. The win drops the Reapers two games back as they head into the "hard" part of their season.

The other immortal team, the 72 Dolphins are still chilling their champagne, but it didn't come without a fright. The BP Badasses were favorites by twenty points, but, the decider was James Jones of the Wild Boston Terriers who scored nothing, leaving the Terriers .62 short, losing 98.56 - 98.14. Coach McBee at the post-game conference commented on Jones, "Son of a bitch," which on his team, is actually true.

Defending Torpedo Bowl champions the Dragons, with two starters who failed to scored for the second week, fall to 3-3 to the Takky Glue 81.45 - 77.20. The Glue managed to equal the Dragons .500% record but leap a half game ahead by divisional wins.

The most surprising of the Surface Skimmers divisional games was the brutal thumping by Every Given Sunday of the Helmand Nighthawks. In a dejavu from last season, EGS once again knocked off the league leaders, 120 - 88. The win puts both in a three way 4-2 battle. The third team, the Australian Taipans, were lucky to get away with the Green Beans playing Chad Ochocinco (on a bye) and win 92-78.

One of two emerging teams out of this week is the Ded Poets. Big scorers last year, the Poets have quietly advance to 4-2, convincing winners against Mookie and TD's 89 - 69. The Poets advance to a share of second place in the Sub Simmers division, trailing the perfect asses by 2 cheeky games.

The other team, the Broncolo's with their second round pick Peyton Manning, racked up a 111 score against the Mudville Nine. Even though the Nine had Mike Thomas playing on Monday night, once the game become lopsided, the Nine just ran out of time for Thomas to catch enough points.

So as we head into week seven, The Bp Badasses hold a two game lead over everybody, and are potentially just two games away from a guaranteed post season spot. At 4-2 five teams are all tied up, and at 3-3 a trio lay in contention still...but need to get the lead out.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Six, it's hard to overlook the injury which helped a team to their first win. For the effort of 5 receptions for 146 yards and 2 TD's, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present wide receiver Calvin Johnson of the South West Rockets, the Week Six MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

INJURY PLUG AND PLAY
...but can anyone plug the Badasses?


Week Seven in the Subsim Football league and a mixture of what otherwise might be "nothing" games, suddenly fell over like a house of cards.

In the self proclaimed "cellar dwellers" game between the Wild Boston terriers and Show Me Your TD's. it took Coach Mookie almost the entire weekend to prove that his team at 1-5, was no fluke. Having lost three thrillers, the TD's were able to put away a lot of people's early favorites, The Wild Boston Terriers, 99 - 85. The loss puts the Terriers in contention for first pick of the draft next year.

To do so, the Terriers are going to have to get around the South West Rockets, who in the seventh week of the season allow the fifth team to put up a record score. The Rockets drop to 1-6 with the Takky Glue advancing to 3-4 with their 120 - 74.

At the end of week seven, The Bp Badasses easily accounted for the Green Beans, 139 - 76. The win advances the Badasses to just one win short of assuring themselves the first playoff position, as they lead the SubSimmers Division 7-0, with a three game lead.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, the entire division has been thrown upside down with two key losses and one win.

The Helmand Nighthawks were favored by over 30 points to beat the Reapers, but for the second time this season, the Reapers have shown they can roll the #1 seed. Against an all star Nighthawks, the Reapers drop the Nighthawks to 4-3 with an unexpected, but well deserved 108 - 76 win.

The second game was a "winner take all" and divisional lead, with the Australian Taipans coming out of no where, with their unexpected 77 - 49 win against Every Given Sunday. With the Dragons accounting for the Broncolo's 119 -83, the Taipans win created a divisional 4-3 bottleneck in the Surface Skimmers division, one game back.

But..who's going to be the last QB standing. The South West Rockets potentially have lost Old Man Favre, and the Really Ded Poets have lost Tony Romo, and receiver Greg Jennings may not have a QB. Elsewhere the ripple effect affects many teams. The Taipans with Miles Austin and no one to throw to him, likewise Percy Harvin of the Dragons, and to a lesser extent Show Me Your TD's Randy Moss.

As we stand at the conclusion of this weeks games, the standings for the league are:

1. BP Badasses 7-0.
2. Australian Taipans, 5-2.
=3. Broncolo's, Really Ded Poets, Mudville Nine, Every Given Sunday, Takky Glue, Helmand Nighthawks, and Dragons, 4-3.
10. Reapers, 3-4.

They are all chasing the one Badass out in front.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Seven, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 11 receptions for 201 yards, 2 receiving TD's and one 2 point conversion, wide receiver Roddy White of the Reapers, the Week Seven MVT.

[mookiemookie]

I believe ol' Mcbee owes me one of these:

[Gut Wrench]

How 'bout them...Terriers?
What happened to the lil' doggies?


Week Eight in the Subsim Football league and the pundits are asking, do the Wild Boston Terriers have a dose of "I don't give a Randy Moss" .

In the second week of the "cellar dwellers" game, the Wild Boston Terriers and South West Rockets took off one early Sunday, but the Rockets just soared away, almost winning the game by the largest gap of the week. The final score of 73 - 32 doesn't eliminate either team from the post season, but they are going need help.

At the top of the table, the BP Badasses motioned through another team, using makeshift bye alternatives, easily accounting for the Broncolo's who continued to start another two players out for the week. The win lifts the Badasses to a sickening 8-0, three games clear of their nearest divisional opponent, and mathematically placing themselves one game short of a clinched post season berth. The 72 Dolphins are worried.

The Mudville Nine are the first of those teams three games back from the Badasses. Coach Casey had circled this week against Show me Your TD's as the key game to start their post season run. "They can show us what they like, but we're here to get in, play dirty and punish them." The Nine did it by playing the Giants defence, also on a bye this week. Final score, Mudville Nine 110, Mookie and TD's 96.

The Really Ded Poets have slowly gone about business, hiding beneath the radar of the Canadian border. The Poets were matched against the Green Beans, who started two players out for the week on a bye. Final score, the Poets destroyed the Green Beans for the biggest win of the week, 110-41, and advance to 5-3.

The Takky Glue were looking to extend their winning streak to 5 playing against the Dragons, whom they defeated earlier in the year. In the rematch, the game hung in the balance until Monday night when the Dragons kicker Neil Rackers and Andre Johnson did just enough to lift the Dragons to victory, 105-78.

The second game hanging in the balance late Monday was Every Given Sunday and the Helmand Nighthawks. Although not quite in the same doghouse as the Boston Terriers, the Nighthawks struggle to contain EGS, needing Adam Vinatieri to kick between 9 and 11 field goals to get the win. Unfortunately for him, Every Given Sunday dropped the Nighthawks for their third loss, winning 97-85.

The thriller of the week, while not being a high scoring game, was the Reapers against the Australian Taipans. The Reapers have owned the Taipans for the last two years, taking them 3-0 despite being underdogs by at least 20 points. On Monday night the Taipans looked like they might finally break the jinx, until with 41 seconds to go, Matt Schaub was sacked, and the Reapers beat the Taipans with the closest score of the weekend, 68.15 - 67.57. The loss drops the Taipans into a three way tie for the Surface Skimmers division with Every Given Sunday and the Dragons at 5-3.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Eight, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 3 sacks, 3 interceptions, and 1 fumble recovery, for a score of 18 points, the Rams defense of the Dragons, the Week Eight MVT.

[Aramike]

In two years, I have not had a single MVT!!!

In Week Eight, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 3 sacks, 3 interceptions, and 1 fumble recovery, for a score of 18 points, the Rams defense of the Dragons, the Week Eight MVT.

Packers D shutting out the JETS??? HELLO??!!!???!!

[Gut Wrench]

HAULING ASS
Can no one penetrate the Bad ones?


Week Nine in the Subsim Football league, and around the league, Coaches are shocked. Earlier in the week they all got together to go see magician David Copperfield, but it wasn't until the the Badasses got off the field, that everyone said "How the hell did he do that?" The Badasses asserted their dominance, throttling the Dragons with a record 167 - 115 win.

The win assures the Badasses a post season position, and leaves them one game shy of home field advantage through the playoff. "We're pretty freaking happy about this, despite the fact we're now getting hate mail from the 72 Dolphins." On the other side of the game, the Dragons lead by Coach Rick, short by .03 points of their best score for the year, fall into an avalanche of 5-4 teams in the Surface Skimmers division.

One of the most intriguing games in that division was the Takky Glue - Taipans matchup. The Glue started out 20 point favorites, despite being 4-4 to the Taipans 5-3. At the start of Monday night, the Taipans lead by 4 points. For the second week in a row, the Taipans have choked, losing 77-62. Coach Pioneer was livid at his team, with reports that the Cowboy fire sale starts tomorrow.

Coach Casey with the Mudville Nine has quietly put together a three game winning stream, defeating the Wild Boston Terriers 115 - 54. The win moves the Nine to 6-3 in the SubSimmers division, a game clear of the Ded Poets. The loss, however, was devastating for the Terriers, who head back to Oregon, tail between their legs, chanting "just wait till next year", all but eliminated from the Post Season.

The Reapers join the 5-4 congestion in the Surface Skimmers Division, defeating early favorites the Helmand Nighthawks, Despite having first pick in the draft the Nighthawks have fallen to the cellar of the Surface Skimmers division at 4-5. In the last four weeks they have not scored over 90 points, but, are still within two games of taking the divisional win.

In the biggest surprise of the week, (other than the Badass score) Coach Mookie advance to the hardest earned 3-6 team in the league, by putting up 118 points, the most this season, to defeat the 5-3 Really Ded Poets. "We're still a chance" the TD's cried on their way home, legitimately probably three games back with five games left to play. If only they had one of those early losses back.

Controversy surrounds the Subsim League this week, with Coach Aramike claiming that in two years he has not had a single MVT. Really? I guess the Coach's memory does not extend back to week 3 last year when his quarterback Aaron Rodgers scored 24 points and was awarded the MVT.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In Week Eight, it turns out that Coach Aramike gets his second MVT. The Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 4 sacks, 2 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries and 2 defensive touchdowns, for a score of 31 points, the Packers defense is the Week Nine MVT.

[Aramike]

Controversy surrounds the Subsim League this week, with Coach Aramike claiming that in two years he has not had a single MVT. Really? I guess the Coach's memory does not extend back to week 3 last year when his quarterback Aaron Rodgers scored 24 points and was awarded the MVT.

Coach Aramike's memory doesn't extend to what I had for breakfast this morning. I stand corrected!