So...I've been dumped.

Flaxpants · 09-19-10, 11:37 PM

Sound advice from the Ancient Mariner.

For me I would say don't let yourself get wound up by this kind of thing too much, it's better to just 'get on with your life' ('your life' being the operative words). Plenty of other women will surely come your way in the future. Don't dwell on it as it's a waste of your time.

"but apparently my psychological profile says I'm basically emotionally dependent on a girl." Don't believe this for a minute! Who says? You know your pschological profile better than anyone else- you can be how you want to be, it's your choice. If you tell a woman that, they're likely to run a mile....

Alternatively book yourself a week in Bangkok!

frau kaleun · 09-20-10, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Don't decide what to do based on what she may or may not do or say, decide what to do based on what you want

Oh true, so true. I can't tell you how much time I've wasted over the years trying to figure out, adapt to, or make decisions based on whatever it is someone else says they want, instead of asking myself what I want and what I need and facing the hard fact that the two things simply aren't compatible any more.

In a healthy, committed relationship - of course you consider what the other person needs and wants. But in cases where the other person doesn't seem to know what he/she wants, or gives conflicting signals about it, or obviously doesn't want what you consider to be the bare minimum necessary to meet your own need for happiness and contentment... that's a different story.

Quote:

What the most important thing for anyone at your age to do is to learn to be happy with and by yourself.

This is most important at any age. Until you figure this out, you'll almost always be at the mercy of the whims of someone or something else that you're counting on to be the secret ingredient that will finally make you happy. But the real secret ingredient is to get there on your own.

AVGWarhawk · 09-20-10, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Hi Sledge. Right now you're at a crossroads. The next 12 months are going to involve a large series of changes. Your old friends are going to slowly slip away to be replaced by new ones. By next September, you're going to be in a new place, surrounded by new people who will see the world in ways that you have not thought of. Really, it is a magical time, and I mean that sincerely.

Tak nailed it here Sledge. You said you are going to college. A total transformation of what you know and what you used to do will take place. No doubt in my mind. As far as be recluse as you describe yourself....that will change in college. I too had a high school sweety but going off in two different directions changed all of that. After seeing my old high school sweety not long ago...IT WAS FOR THE BETTER! But all kidding aside...college was nothing short of friggin awesome for me. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. There was plenty of wine, women and song...along with classes but that comes with the territory. Brush your shoes off man...go enjoy!

DarkFish · 09-20-10, 09:53 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, Sledge

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

plenty of wine, women and song...

AVGWarhawk's right. That should keep you distracted for a while

Sledgehammer427 · 09-20-10, 02:09 PM

Thanks guys, I've been doing a lot of reading to keep myself occupied

Takeda Shingen · 09-20-10, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sledgehammer427

Thanks guys, I've been doing a lot of reading to keep myself occupied

Time with a book is always time well-spent.

Highbury · 09-20-10, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sledgehammer427

Thanks guys, I've been doing a lot of reading to keep myself occupied

Good plan at the start, it passes the time well and the only sure fire cure is time. I haven't been in that position in a long while, but the last one was at the end of a 14 year relationship. I was at a complete loss in every way a person can be, but time fixed it.

Jimbuna · 09-20-10, 03:02 PM

I can't add much to what Tak, Jumpy and Chad have already written/advised.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move onward and upward.....you owe it to yourself.

I wish you every success in your efforts

09-20-10, 02:09 PM	#5
Sledgehammer427 PacWagon Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Drinking coffee and staring at trees in Massachusetts Posts: 2,908 Downloads: 287 Uploads: 0	Thanks guys, I've been doing a lot of reading to keep myself occupied __________________ Cold Waters Voice Crew - Fire Control Officer Cmdr O. Myers - C/O USS Nautilus (SS-168) 114,000 tons sunk - 4 Spec Ops completed V-boat Nutcase - Need supplies? Japanese garrison on a small island in the way? Just give us a call! D4C!

09-20-10, 03:02 PM	#8
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,743 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I can't add much to what Tak, Jumpy and Chad have already written/advised. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move onward and upward.....you owe it to yourself. I wish you every success in your efforts __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

09-19-10, 11:37 PM	#1
Flaxpants Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Koh Samui, Thailand Posts: 1,196 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Sound advice from the Ancient Mariner. For me I would say don't let yourself get wound up by this kind of thing too much, it's better to just 'get on with your life' ('your life' being the operative words). Plenty of other women will surely come your way in the future. Don't dwell on it as it's a waste of your time. "but apparently my psychological profile says I'm basically emotionally dependent on a girl." Don't believe this for a minute! Who says? You know your pschological profile better than anyone else- you can be how you want to be, it's your choice. If you tell a woman that, they're likely to run a mile.... Alternatively book yourself a week in Bangkok!