So...I've been dumped.

[Castout]

3 years eh You must have loved her so much. You remind me about myself. Once I loved a girl for over than 3 years and never able to tell her. The closest thing I got to that was staring into each other eyes for about a minute when we were next to each other.

The thing with me is I love too much so much so I wouldn't try to get close to a girl I love unless I consider myself steady and able
I even promised myself to help her out someday in the future when I'm able and the situation presents itself. I'm an idiot LOL. But I'm a happy idiot LOL.

[jumpy]

It would seem that one reason that Tak is a mod is because he is more magnanimous than I -

If she can't make her mind up, either way... or needs 'time' to think things over, my advice to you is to get the hell out of dodge. Don't decide what to do based on what she may or may not do or say, decide what to do based on what you want - if it's making you feel bad then it's probably not right.

Don't waste your life on someone who's stringing you along for the attention, it's not worth it.
This doesn't mean you can't be friends still, if you can deal with that - I know I couldn't.

Beware of people who say one thing then do another. It's a dead give away and will only cause you grief if you have anything more than a passing acquaintance with them.

It's easy in these situations to let you heart rule your head. Don't.

Think and be a little ruthless with your feelings and you can save yourself more emotional trouble.


ps. giving advice is easy, following it is quite another matter I know this all too well for my liking.

[Chad]

Sledge, I'm sorry to hear this. I remember you talking about her a couple months ago.

I've gone through a very similar situation, and trust me it is hard. Listen to Tak and others, as what they say is true.

And a few years ago, trust me I HATED this saying but I'll say it now because I agree,

There's always other fish in the sea.


BTW: Check your PM

[Sailor Steve]

Given the life I've led I'm in no position to give advice on this subject. I will back up what others have said, though: No matter how hopeless things seem now, things will get better, and often in ways you can't anticipate. You might end up with her. You might end up with someone else. You might end up alone, but learn that it's not as bad as it seems. You don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, and tomorrow is where the adventure lies. Never give up hope.

[Castout]

Geeesh Steve it's today where adventure lies..tomorrow is wishful thinking and yesterday is but a memory

Good thing Sledge is young just prevent him from getting anywhere higher than 2 storey and from cutlery and he'll be fine...I hope.
love above all should not be selfish if it's to be a true love and should not fade either with time and condition. Most men just settle with lust though.

Cheer up Sledge and be strong. Love finds its way. Mine did I just didn't know where it came from . . . . because it was no where near but then again my lifer is tragic pfffftttt

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Castout

Geeesh Steve it's today where adventure lies..tomorrow is wishful thinking and yesterday is but a memory

So if today sucks we should just give up hope? I would have killed myself long ago if that were the case.

[ajrimmer42]

Some damn good advice on here. Hope things work out for you Sledge mate.

[DarkFish]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

So if today sucks we should just give up hope? I would have killed myself long ago if that were the case.

No because once you're 100% sure today sucked it's tomorrow already

[Flaxpants]

Sound advice from the Ancient Mariner.

For me I would say don't let yourself get wound up by this kind of thing too much, it's better to just 'get on with your life' ('your life' being the operative words). Plenty of other women will surely come your way in the future. Don't dwell on it as it's a waste of your time.

"but apparently my psychological profile says I'm basically emotionally dependent on a girl." Don't believe this for a minute! Who says? You know your pschological profile better than anyone else- you can be how you want to be, it's your choice. If you tell a woman that, they're likely to run a mile....

Alternatively book yourself a week in Bangkok!

[frau kaleun]

Don't decide what to do based on what she may or may not do or say, decide what to do based on what you want

Oh true, so true. I can't tell you how much time I've wasted over the years trying to figure out, adapt to, or make decisions based on whatever it is someone else says they want, instead of asking myself what I want and what I need and facing the hard fact that the two things simply aren't compatible any more.

In a healthy, committed relationship - of course you consider what the other person needs and wants. But in cases where the other person doesn't seem to know what he/she wants, or gives conflicting signals about it, or obviously doesn't want what you consider to be the bare minimum necessary to meet your own need for happiness and contentment... that's a different story.

What the most important thing for anyone at your age to do is to learn to be happy with and by yourself.

This is most important at any age. Until you figure this out, you'll almost always be at the mercy of the whims of someone or something else that you're counting on to be the secret ingredient that will finally make you happy. But the real secret ingredient is to get there on your own.

[AVGWarhawk]

Hi Sledge. Right now you're at a crossroads. The next 12 months are going to involve a large series of changes. Your old friends are going to slowly slip away to be replaced by new ones. By next September, you're going to be in a new place, surrounded by new people who will see the world in ways that you have not thought of. Really, it is a magical time, and I mean that sincerely.

Tak nailed it here Sledge. You said you are going to college. A total transformation of what you know and what you used to do will take place. No doubt in my mind. As far as be recluse as you describe yourself....that will change in college. I too had a high school sweety but going off in two different directions changed all of that. After seeing my old high school sweety not long ago...IT WAS FOR THE BETTER! But all kidding aside...college was nothing short of friggin awesome for me. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. There was plenty of wine, women and song...along with classes but that comes with the territory. Brush your shoes off man...go enjoy!