Pooping: You're Doing It Wrong

frau kaleun · 08-26-10, 12:37 PM

http://gawker.com/5622737/forget-eve...-about-pooping

Quote:

If you're attractive and/or a girl, this doesn't apply to you. But the rest of you, meaning those who poop, listen up: Your pooping technique is incorrect, a groundbreaking story reveals...

Modern-day squat evangelists make money off the claim that a "more natural" posture wards off all sorts of health problems, from Crohn's disease to colon cancer. Inventor Jonathon Isbit runs a modest online business selling Nature's Platform-a homemade, $150 device that fits over toilets to make them more like holes in the ground.

Of course this doesn't apply to Subsimmers, because we're all attractive and/or girls.

AVGWarhawk · 08-26-10, 01:07 PM

As long as I can get some reading done that is all that matters.

SteamWake · 08-26-10, 01:17 PM

"Device to make the toilent more like a hole in the floor"

heh Im way ahead of this dude...

My 'main' bathrooms current state

jumpy · 08-26-10, 01:21 PM

^^ lmao

hmm straining? surely a better diet is better for ease of ahem, 'motions' than some 150 quid gadget to make the business of passing richards more like squatting behind a bush?

I can see a fatal flaw in this 'labour saving device' - has no-one thought of the monumental proportions of the 'splash-back' from such dizzying heights above the calm waves of the porcelain littorals?

No thanks chum.

papa_smurf · 08-26-10, 01:23 PM

Quote:

"Device to make the toilent more like a hole in the floor"

heh Im way ahead of this dude...

Charge $150, and you'll make a mint

Weiss Pinguin · 08-26-10, 01:35 PM

The real question here, I think, is does it solve the problem of 'lid up/lid down'?

frau kaleun · 08-26-10, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteamWake

"Device to make the toilent more like a hole in the floor"

heh Im way ahead of this dude...

My 'main' bathrooms current state

So are you using targeting assistance when you fire off those eels, or have you thrown caution to the wind and gone strictly manual?

SteamWake · 08-26-10, 01:39 PM

Topedoes loose !!!!

and hope there not loose torpedoes.

Actually we have a second bathroom complete with a working throne.

Alex · 08-26-10, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Welcome to Saigon, biyatches.
Now stretch those Achilles tendons, or you'll topple over and make a mess you won't soon forget.

Buddahaid · 08-26-10, 08:06 PM

http://www.wt.utari.net/

Here now! What's all that squating about?

Reece · 08-26-10, 08:16 PM

Now of course if you are now going to squat (careful, if you slip your in the sh!t), you may need the new device advertised on the right of the article, the extended toilet roll holder!

All I can add is... Spa-doonch!!

frau kaleun · 08-26-10, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reece

Now of course if you are now going to squat (careful, if you slip your in the sh!t), you may need the new device advertised on the right of the article, the extended toilet roll holder!

All I can add is... Spa-doonch!!

I'm not gonna deal with maneuvering a toilet paper roll out and back from the wall AND simultaneously trying to keep my balance whilst squatting over a hole in the floor.

In short: put a remote control device on that thing or it's no sale.

Oh wait, I'm a girl. I don't poop. Never mind!

TFatseas · 08-26-10, 10:19 PM

Poop thread...

I subscribe to the theory "If it's not broke, don't fix it".

Flaxpants · 08-26-10, 10:36 PM

Living in Thailand, I am quite used to squatting over holes, nothing new here.
Get through a lot of shoes mind you.

TLAM Strike · 08-26-10, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flaxpants

Living in Thailand, I am quite used to squatting over holes, nothing new here.
Get through a lot of shoes mind you.

That's why in Japan they leave slippers by the door for you to ware in the bathroom.

08-26-10, 01:07 PM	#2
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,254 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	As long as I can get some reading done that is all that matters. __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

08-26-10, 01:17 PM	#3
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	"Device to make the toilent more like a hole in the floor" heh Im way ahead of this dude... My 'main' bathrooms current state __________________ Follow the progress of Mr. Mulligan : http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=147648

08-26-10, 01:21 PM	#4
jumpy Admiral Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 2,139 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	^^ lmao hmm straining? surely a better diet is better for ease of ahem, 'motions' than some 150 quid gadget to make the business of passing richards more like squatting behind a bush? I can see a fatal flaw in this 'labour saving device' - has no-one thought of the monumental proportions of the 'splash-back' from such dizzying heights above the calm waves of the porcelain littorals? No thanks chum. __________________ when you’ve been so long in the desert, any water, no matter how brackish, looks like life

08-26-10, 01:35 PM	#6
Weiss Pinguin Ocean Warrior Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Auburn, Alabama Posts: 3,333 Downloads: 101 Uploads: 0	The real question here, I think, is does it solve the problem of 'lid up/lid down'? __________________

08-26-10, 01:39 PM	#8
SteamWake Rear Admiral Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,224 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Topedoes loose !!!! and hope there not loose torpedoes. Actually we have a second bathroom complete with a working throne. __________________ Follow the progress of Mr. Mulligan : http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=147648

08-26-10, 08:06 PM	#10
Buddahaid Shark above Space Chicken Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,319 Downloads: 162 Uploads: 0	http://www.wt.utari.net/ Here now! What's all that squating about? __________________ "However vast the darkness, we must provide our own light." Stanley Kubrick "Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming." David Bowie

08-26-10, 08:16 PM	#11
Reece CINC Pacific Fleet Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Down Under Posts: 34,701 Downloads: 171 Uploads: 0	Now of course if you are now going to squat (careful, if you slip your in the sh!t), you may need the new device advertised on the right of the article, the extended toilet roll holder! All I can add is... Spa-doonch!! __________________ *Sub captains go down with their ship!*

08-26-10, 10:19 PM	#13
TFatseas Medic Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 166 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Poop thread... I subscribe to the theory "If it's not broke, don't fix it".

08-26-10, 10:36 PM	#14
Flaxpants Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Koh Samui, Thailand Posts: 1,196 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Living in Thailand, I am quite used to squatting over holes, nothing new here. Get through a lot of shoes mind you.