Noob errors

[frau kaleun]

Enroute to Blecher for refueling and rearming I came across a tramp steamer. I manned the guns and quickly sank the steamer and continues my course to Bleucher. Unfortunately I forgot to unman the guns, and as we approached Bleacher my gun crew opened highly effective fire setting Blecher on fire.

I'm sure I remember a post on another thread where someone recounted a patrol where they were going to rendezvous with a German tanker for refueling at sea (not in some friendly or neutral port). While patrolling the appropriate area in anticipation of the supply ship, they sighted a tanker coming into range that appeared to be flying the red British ensign, and sank it. Then continued to cruise around looking for that German tanker they were supposed to be meeting, which really ought to have been around there somewhere... only to realize that it wasn't a Union Jack they'd seen up in the corner of that "British" tanker's flag but the, er, swastika of a German flag. On a German tanker. That was waiting to refuel them. Oopsie!

Am I imagining things or did I really read that? Can't remember who posted it.

I have never left my gun crew on duty by accident and had them start firing on a friendly, but I have ordered the guns manned, finished off a big-a$$ merchant, gone back to the nav map with a grand feeling of accomplishment, then returned to the bridge several hours later to find my WO keeping watch alone in the tower in a vicious storm while the rest of the lads are still dutifully manning the gun, to which they are now hanging on for dear life because they're spending three minutes out of every four underwater.

Still my favorite, from my first few forays into plotting a course on the nav map: not realizing that a coastline that looks like a relatively straight line at one magnification will actually turn out to have lots of little jagged bits that jut out into the water once you zoom in close enough to see them. And then plotting a course along said coastline at minimal magnification that does not take into account all those little jagged bits, which become even easier to see when you are running aground on one at full ahead.

Also: painstakingly navigating my boat all the way back up into the pen from which I started my patrol, even turning her around and backing her in, and then sitting there waiting for the game to say "Mission Complete" or some such, then moving the boat back out and into the pen, trying to "hit the magic spot" that will tell the game that, like MacArthur, I have returned. Then getting frustrated and wondering WHY WON'T THIS STUPID GAME ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE DOCKED MY BOAT, WTF?

All because I've forgotten that there is no "magic spot" and I need to hit Esc to end the patrol.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Am I imagining things or did I really read that? Can't remember who posted it.

You're imagining things.

I remember reading it too, and not so long ago, but I also can't remember who it was.

[sergei]

Yep, I remember that story. I damn near laughed myself to death.

Here it is for anyone who missed it
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/show...64&postcount=5

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by sergei

Yep, I remember that story. I damn near laughed myself to death.

Here it is for anyone who missed it
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/show...64&postcount=5

Location: Ireland....say no more

[CherryHarbey]

I have made many mistakes but worst series of mistakes was..

1st patrol out of Kiel before the war had even started.
Asked Nav to plot course through Kiel canal
Set ahead standard
go to kitchen to make cup of tea
return to find that because I had not told the Nav to follow the plotted course the boat had just ran straight out until it hit the land opposite
boat damaged beyond repair and I died despite being a stone's throw from the shore.

like to think I survived to be shot for gross mis-conduct

[Sailor Steve]

They don't shoot you for that kind of thing, though. There are always uses for a captain of your talents. Garbage scows need kaleuns too.

[U777]

1. Forgot to move the watch officer from the forward bunks to the tower.

2. Tried to sink a torpedo boat with the deck gun.

3. Forgot to set the torpedo crew to load automatically, discovered the error when trying to sink a freighter and found all my tubes to be empty thus requiring a 180 to use one of the stern tubes.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by CherryHarbey

I have made many mistakes but worst series of mistakes was..

1st patrol out of Kiel before the war had even started.
Asked Nav to plot course through Kiel canal
Set ahead standard
go to kitchen to make cup of tea
return to find that because I had not told the Nav to follow the plotted course the boat had just ran straight out until it hit the land opposite
boat damaged beyond repair and I died despite being a stone's throw from the shore.

like to think I survived to be shot for gross mis-conduct

Done that more times than I care to admit

[CherryHarbey]

Originally Posted by U777

1. Forgot to move the watch officer from the forward bunks to the tower.

2. Tried to sink a torpedo boat with the deck gun.

3. Forgot to set the torpedo crew to load automatically, discovered the error when trying to sink a freighter and found all my tubes to be empty thus requiring a 180 to use one of the stern tubes.

That watch officer is the laziest man on the boat, pretty soon, kicking him out of his bunk every time you surface is one of the things you do without realising you are doing it.

[Arctic wolf]

I was starting my second patrol from Kiel. In free cam mode, moving around admiring my new emblem while my boat's slowly moving forward at 4/5 knots. Suddenly I press "p" (didn't really know what it did back then). Before I know it I get screeching noises from my boat and my crew trying to raise hell with damage reports all around.

Ohhh so it dives to periscope depth with "p"? Lesson learnt at the cost of 45 lives.

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Arctic wolf

I was starting my second patrol from Kiel. In free cam mode, moving around admiring my new emblem while my boat's slowly moving forward at 4/5 knots. Suddenly I press "p" (didn't really know what it did back then). Before I know it I get screeching noises from my boat and my crew trying to raise hell with damage reports all around.

Ohhh so it dives to periscope depth with "p"? Lesson learnt at the cost of 45 lives.

[sharkbit]

Originally Posted by CherryHarbey

That watch officer is the laziest man on the boat, pretty soon, kicking him out of his bunk every time you surface is one of the things you do without realising you are doing it.

Mod of the Year to the modder who can fix that. I assume it is a hard code thing though or it would have been done.

....pretty soon, kicking him out of his bunk every time you surface is one of the things you do without realising you are doing it.

It does become second nature after a while.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by sharkbit

Mod of the Year to the modder who can fix that. I assume it is a hard code thing though or it would have been done.

It does become second nature after a while.

Yep, it just becomes part of the routine. I give the order to surface the boat, then hang out in the crew management screen until the rest of the watch appears up in the tower, then drag the lazy WO up there with them. My hands and fingers have pretty much memorized the process at this point.

[K-61]

I remember chasing a ship one night forever, after I decided to do the hydrophone job myself. I kept detecting a contact at my 160 to 180 bearing, but couldn't find it. Then it hit me, I was like a dog chasing its own tail. The "contact" I was hearing was the sound of my own screws. A few here have also made another one of my rookie mistakes, colliding with my target, or being too close to it while using the deck gun and being hit by flying debris. Crash dives while under time compression is another famous one.

My all time biggest boo boo was a patrol off the coast of Norway, where I sank well over a dozen ships, came back to port and found that all of my victories were neutral Norwegians!

[OSU]

I tried to get into Scapa Flow in my IX-B in the middle of the day once. What a dumb mistake.

Another one was when I tried to shoot down a British plane near Gibraltar. Lost seven crew members including my watch officer. Great man, i had him promoted and decorated and qualified and everything. Limped into the Thalia in Spain to fix my boat and get new crew. Returned to Lorient afterwards without sinking a ship. Ended my career in disgust after that. Then started a new one with a shiny new VII-B at the beginning of the war. I love that boat!

A word of the wise (or not so wise) to all the other noobs like me out there: when you see a plane, DIVE. Trying to duke it out with them on the surface is not smart at all. Just crash and get the hell out of there.