Jokes about Jewish people

[raymond6751]

I'm not Jewish but I'm surprised that this thread is here.

Next we'll be having white supremacist threads !

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by raymond6751

I'm not Jewish but I'm surprised that this thread is here.

Next we'll be having white supremacist threads !

I was as well but you know what, if you can not laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at? Call me what you want. Just do not call me late for dinner.

[DarkFish]

Originally Posted by Bilge_Rat

The only advantage is that it is very easy to spot the anti-semites and right-wing nut jobs by the jokes they post. OneToughHerring obviously fits into both categories.

Well yeah, it kinda surprises me that in a thread about Obama jokes OTH immediately starts talking about racism against black persons, while shortly after he starts a new thread with jokes about Jews. If jokes about black people are racism in his eyes, how then can jokes about Jews not be racism?

Personally, I think both should be allowed. As long as it stays civil, what's wrong with jokes?
(BTW, anyone know any jokes about Dutchmen? Been a long time since I last heard one)


anyway, back on topic:

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.
"The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?"
So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.
He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be o sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."

[Raptor1]

Heard this one a while ago, so I can't remember exactly how it went:

Two Russian men stand in line to recieve food in the RSFSR. After 2 hours of waiting, a Chekist comes out and shouts "No food for Jews today!". The Jews go home and the first man says to the other "See, the Jews are always treated better than us", the other man gives him a puzzled look and they continue waiting in line. After three more hours of waiting the Chekist comes out again, he shouts "No food for anyone today!"

Well, it was funnier in the original version.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Raptor1

Well, it was funnier in the original version.

I thought it was plenty funny the way you told it. I've never heard that one before.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi are on a train. After awhile the cards come out, and the bet is a quarter a hand. Pretty soon the Cardinal strolls by. With prescience the cards disappear just before the door opens, but the Cardinal is still suspicious.

"Father, were you gambling?"

"No, your imminence." The priest lies, hoping he can do pennance later.

"Reverend, were you gambling?"

"No, Cardinal." The minister lies, thinking it's okay to lie to a Catholic.

"Rabbi, were you gambling?"

The rabbi looks at the other two, shrugs his shoulders and says "With who?"

[Safe-Keeper]

Two Russian men stand in line to recieve food in the RSFSR. After 2 hours of waiting, a Chekist comes out and shouts "No food for Jews today!". The Jews go home and the first man says to the other "See, the Jews are always treated better than us", the other man gives him a puzzled look and they continue waiting in line. After three more hours of waiting the Chekist comes out again, he shouts "No food for anyone today!"

[Bilge_Rat]

Originally Posted by DarkFish

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.
"The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?"
So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.
He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be o sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The Rabbi softly speaks, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."

good one.