9 year time warp

[Platapus]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

Oh! Those are called "girls", and take my word for it, they haven't improved over the past 9 years, either. The last one I had stopped working within a month. It didn't come with a manual, though after it arrived I started recieving a bunch of odd publications that I assume were advertisements for newer "models". No helpful advice at all though in those things, I tell ya'. Even worse, when I started inspecting it for technical support info that might have been printed on the back or inside cover, it disappeared. Damndest thing

I hear "girls" can be modded but it costs thousands of dollars, and the software remains unstable. I also got a patch for one once but it cost like $50 a month and the thing still smelled like smoke. You're better off taking the time to download the SH5 mods and patches as they come out, while you enjoy the subsim community.

An oldie but a goodie

> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
> began unexpected child processing that took up
> a lot of space and valuable resources. No
> mention of this phenomenon was included in the
> product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installs itself into all other programs and
> launches during system initialization,
> where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken
> Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of
> my other favorite applications. I am thinking
> about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> uninstall does not work on this program.
> Can you help me, please!!!
> Thanks, A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:
This is a very common problem men complain
about but is mostly due to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run everything. It is unlikely
you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge
the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal
with the situation. I suggest installing
background application program C:\YES DEAR to
alleviate software augmentation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR
because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system
will return to normal. The system will run
smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but
very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0.
-- I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not
a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by BadSeed

So what smart-assed remark will you type to this?

I'm a little tired right now, but I'm sure I can think of something. What kind would you like? (we aim to please).

No DRM (I still have no idea what that is) there.

It's an acronym for Digital-Related Moronitis. It's something that comes with select items that exudes a toxic gas. Some are infected with an instant case of net rage, which is worse (if you can believe it) than road rage, while others are possessed by a sudden religious epiphany which is manifested in fits of undying love and worship. In both cases the victims fall into uncontrollable bouts of self-aggrandization and harsh criticizm of the others' symptoms, coupled with mockery and insult-throwing.

It's all rather ugly, so we Don't Really Mention it around here.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

Oh! Those are called "girls", and take my word for it, they haven't improved over the past 9 years, either...

You politely skipped over the worst part. No matter how much you pay for mods and the like, this is the only program that continually tries to mod you.

[Platapus]

Well it seems to be a problem from both sides

Dear Technical Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. The new program also began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
——————————————————–
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: ” C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support

[BadSeed]

It's all rather ugly, so we Don't Really Mention it around here.

That would do nicely.

[Castout]

Okay did you get Silent Hunter 3?

Silent Hunter IV without super mod is worse than Silent Hunter III


And buying Silent Hunter 5 was a mistake imo

[BadSeed]

If that is the one where you gave orders like in SH4 then no. Last I remember hearing about the new (SH3) would have crew manangement. And 3 was a rehash of the Atlantic. After all it is the same principle... sink a convoy... get away... refit... smash the + button... so I didn't bother. Life happens.

I like 4. I'm in the South pacific so it suits me geographically. I actually sailed up to the bay down the road.

The thing I have issues with is when you want to reward your Watch for a job well done and one has to miss out coz you only get two silver stars or something. I personaly feel sorry for the poor bugger that missed out... I bet he get's teased and hates you.

Yeah a big mistake... naiveté... supporting the loosing team. Thats why it's such a disappointment. Expecting too much for an iPhone App...le.