Quitting smoking (HONEST!!)

Originally Posted by Dowly

Oh shut up!

Right, now that I got you all quitting, it's time to start the 2nd stage of my masterplan. Send the money you've saved for not buying smokes to me!

Why quit? We all live and we all die. Non-smokers don't live much longer than smokers. Many smokers have lived longer than non-smokers! Look at George Burns! Non-smokers also die of lung cancer (see Dana Reeve - Christopher Reeve's wife who never smoked) or cancer of the ass - probably due to being uptight their whole life!

Just relax and smoke! Stress kills more people than cigarettes does by far. As a matter of fact, the stress of quitting is killing you faster than smoking that cigarette. Your real friends would stop pressuring you to quit. Just stay true to yourself. You're a smoker. Enjoy. What's the worst that could happen? You die? That's simple. We all die.

Side effects if you quit...

1. Increased stress
2. Increased weight - which leads to heart disease which IS the #1 killer in the world.
3. Increased chance of divorce or breakup. Probably due to stress or a change in your behavior. You grow apart.
4. Increased chance of second hand smoke exposure. Chances are your friends still smoke. At least one of them. Your delicate lungs will be exposed to his smoke and you will be just as at risk as any other non-smoker who is around him. Quitting smoking is like taking off your gas mask in a contaminated area! You will have to find all new friends who are non-smokers or learn how to hold your breath for a very long time.
5. You will be less cool. Everybody knows smokers are cool. We look cool and they envious us.
6. You will still develop cancer in your ass. I don't know about you, but I'd rather die of lung cancer than ass cancer!


Your choice. I'mma gonna go smoke now!