...once upon a time in Nazi occupied France...

sergei · 03-14-10, 10:19 AM

Made me laugh

robbo180265 · 03-14-10, 11:11 AM

10/10 - very funny

Méo · 03-14-10, 11:48 AM

+1

kptn_kaiserhof · 03-14-10, 12:00 PM

i must second that

Gammelpreusse · 03-14-10, 12:04 PM

lol, great post, with lots of truth to it

gmccabe01 · 03-14-10, 01:32 PM

Excelllent!

Will-Rommel · 03-14-10, 01:39 PM

Vreith · 03-14-10, 07:04 PM

Sheer awesomeness,

Georg_Unterberg · 03-14-10, 07:29 PM

I needed this laugh while waiting for Ubi server to return....

molotof · 03-15-10, 06:20 AM

Quote:

the whole point of a submarine simulation is to be "realistic", not to simulate real life

just epic

flymar · 03-15-10, 06:25 AM

Funny one but I do not agree with the conclusion.

CaptainHaplo · 03-15-10, 06:37 AM

OK - having spent a couple of hours playing SH5 this weekend, let me rebut this one.

Kapitan: Herr Admiral - I cannot accept a Sh5 class sub.

Donitz: Why not, Kapitan?

Kapitan: Admiral, in real life I can speak to my crew while I perform specific functions. In a SH3 class sub, some control liberties were taken that allow me to replicate the same thing. For example, I am running at periscope depth with a destroyer heading it, bearing 240 degrees. My course is currently dead north. In SH3, I can order a heading change to 60 degrees, while ordering a dive to 60 meter and still keep an eye on my target until we pass below 16 meters. In SH5, no such ability exists. I can dive, but I must play the role of Chief, watching and ordering a leveling off at the depth desired.

Donitz: I see, it would be inappropriate for you to take on the tasks of an enlisted sailor.

Kapitan: Forgive me Admiral, but that is not all. I must also take over the helm, because a real captain can order a specific heading, but in an SH5 sub, this cannot be done unless I use the scope to point out the desired course. Given the need to use the scope for combat observation and awareness, the need to "drive" the sub with it is hardly realistic. Nor do I have any desire to manually steer the boat itself, having to watch among everything else, the ships heading. After all, in real life, as in SH3 class vessels, the helmsman understood a compass heading.

Donitz: But you get to talk to your crew now.

Kapitan: Yes sir, I do, but I am out here to fight a war, not worry about banjo strings or whatever for the cook. Nor do I even want to consider his "special soup". Would you want any of his soup, herr Admiral?

Donitz: I shall reconsider the assignment. Once SH5 class vessels allow a captain to realistically simulate a combat uboat as they should, with situational awareness taking priority over "sit here and do the helmsman and planesman's job" - we will discuss this again.

Kapitan: Jahowl, Admiral!

03-14-10, 12:04 PM	#5
Gammelpreusse Planesman Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 191 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	lol, great post, with lots of truth to it __________________

03-14-10, 01:39 PM	#7
Will-Rommel Chief Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 320 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	__________________ -Fighting is a lifestyle-

03-15-10, 06:37 AM	#12
CaptainHaplo Silent Hunter Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 4,404 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 0	OK - having spent a couple of hours playing SH5 this weekend, let me rebut this one. Kapitan: Herr Admiral - I cannot accept a Sh5 class sub. Donitz: Why not, Kapitan? Kapitan: Admiral, in real life I can speak to my crew while I perform specific functions. In a SH3 class sub, some control liberties were taken that allow me to replicate the same thing. For example, I am running at periscope depth with a destroyer heading it, bearing 240 degrees. My course is currently dead north. In SH3, I can order a heading change to 60 degrees, while ordering a dive to 60 meter and still keep an eye on my target until we pass below 16 meters. In SH5, no such ability exists. I can dive, but I must play the role of Chief, watching and ordering a leveling off at the depth desired. Donitz: I see, it would be inappropriate for you to take on the tasks of an enlisted sailor. Kapitan: Forgive me Admiral, but that is not all. I must also take over the helm, because a real captain can order a specific heading, but in an SH5 sub, this cannot be done unless I use the scope to point out the desired course. Given the need to use the scope for combat observation and awareness, the need to "drive" the sub with it is hardly realistic. Nor do I have any desire to manually steer the boat itself, having to watch among everything else, the ships heading. After all, in real life, as in SH3 class vessels, the helmsman understood a compass heading. Donitz: But you get to talk to your crew now. Kapitan: Yes sir, I do, but I am out here to fight a war, not worry about banjo strings or whatever for the cook. Nor do I even want to consider his "special soup". Would you want any of his soup, herr Admiral? Donitz: I shall reconsider the assignment. Once SH5 class vessels allow a captain to realistically simulate a combat uboat as they should, with situational awareness taking priority over "sit here and do the helmsman and planesman's job" - we will discuss this again. Kapitan: Jahowl, Admiral! __________________ Good Hunting! Captain Haplo

03-14-10, 10:19 AM	#1
sergei Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: London UK Posts: 1,788 Downloads: 405 Uploads: 29	Made me laugh

03-14-10, 11:11 AM	#2
robbo180265 Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Brighton, England.Party capital of the south Posts: 2,255 Downloads: 126 Uploads: 0	10/10 - very funny

03-14-10, 11:48 AM	#3
Méo Ace of the Deep Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Quebec City Posts: 1,153 Downloads: 258 Uploads: 0	+1

03-14-10, 12:00 PM	#4
kptn_kaiserhof XO Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 418 Downloads: 42 Uploads: 0	i must second that

03-14-10, 01:32 PM	#6
gmccabe01 Seaman Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cobh in Ireland Posts: 42 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	Excelllent!

03-14-10, 07:04 PM	#8
Vreith Seaman Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 31 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Sheer awesomeness,

03-14-10, 07:29 PM	#9
Georg_Unterberg Machinist's Mate Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Germany Posts: 122 Downloads: 28 Uploads: 0	I needed this laugh while waiting for Ubi server to return....

03-15-10, 06:25 AM	#11
flymar Loader Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 86 Downloads: 42 Uploads: 0	Funny one but I do not agree with the conclusion.