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SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997
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SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
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08-17-05, 09:37 PM
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#1 |
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Grey Wolf
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
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Now I use a completely different method.
The conversation goes something like this: 1st Officer - “A ship has been spotted about 7000 yards off the port bow sir.” Me- “OK number 1, I’ll work out a target solution.” 1st Officer thinks to himself, ‘Oh no not again.’ Me - “Right number1, we left port on Wednesday or was it Thursday, well no matter. What day is it today?” 1st Officer - “Sunday sir.” Me - “Right so we multiply Wednesday by Sunday and divide by the position of the sun, where is the sun number 1?” 1st Officer - “Over there sir.” Me - “Right OK, so we multiply Wednesday by Sunday and divide by over there, so where is this ship number 1?” 1st Officer - “On port side about 7000 yards and closing sir.” Me - “How fast is it going?” 1st Officer - “Not sure sir, I’m no good at that sort of thing.” Me - Neither am I number 1,well never mind, open the bow tubes and get ready to fire.” 1st Officer - “Sorry sir but that would be a waste of time because we have not more torpedoes left at the front end.” Me- Well OK open the stern tubes then, we are going to sink this one, I can feel it in my water number 1.” 1st Officer - “We are pointing in the wrong direction to get any where near sir, we will need to turn I think.” Me - Nonsense number 1, I’ve made all the calculations, get ready to fire.” 1st Officer - (sigh) “OK sir ready when you are, but I do think we need to turn a little first.” Me - “Just get ready number 1, I know what I’m doing.” 1st Officer - “Ready sir.” Me - “Fire one!” 1st Officer - “We can’t fire one sir, it has already been fired.” Me - “Well fire two then.” 1st Officer - “That’s been fired too sir, we only have one torpedo left sir.” Me - “Well I was right then fire one.” 1st Officer - (sigh) “Yes sir, five fired… eh, I mean one sir.” Stopwatch ticks away… Soundman - “Torpedo sounds detected sir.” Me - “Course they are, I just fired one you stupid boy.” Soundman - “But sir the sound is getting closer.” BOOM! Later floating on the water… Me - “Well we did hit something number 1.” 1st Officer – “Yes sir, even if it was ourselves, good shooting sir.” Me – “Do you think I should have divided instead of multiplying or visa –versa?”
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