Have you guys ever had an epiphany?

[Castout]

Satori? Umm what's the difference of that to epiphany?

It's not about losing a girl for me. It never was at least in the long term. IT'S MORE ABOUT A BATTLE OF IDEOLOGY FOR ME. Besides it' better to not marry than marrying the wrong person imo and haven't seen a worthy girl in a very long time. It's just that people with beautiful heart are usually ugly on the outside while beautiful people are ugly in the inside. The most beautiful heart that ever felt was that of a Catholic nun while she was praying..but on the outside well she was not much on the outside. Her shell really protected her. I would not have guessed such a beautiful heart could exist inside her shell. Like I said better to stay single than marrying an ugly(in the inside) woman. And most people that I encounter if not all, are ugly and to certain extend stupid(without wisdom) and it doesn't take a spiritual contact to notice that, the bests are still untried too, pretty much untested. It takes a flood to test the foundation of a house until then you can't really tell.

I know now money is not my main goal in life. I've realized money is just not my cheese. I've accepted all that I've gone through. As for what I'm going to do next I'm going to LIVE eager to experience the next big thing to await what life has in store for me. To not be afraid of life. To see more possibilities in impossibilities. 2009 has been a barren year for me but then again it's not about the experience but the journey itself. I hope when my time is due I would die with the same feeling I felt three days ago when I had that epiphany. But I'm struggling whether to tell what came to me or to keep them myself, the ethics and consequences are not to be taken lightly though they are far in between. I've been pretty much silent in the past and afraid somebody would take advantage of my silence or even take credits for them(these people are low). I'm not crazy over recognition but I feel a little humiliation to those that put me down and persecute me would be somewhat an eye opener. Right now they are playing a broken song of victory over me. A fake smugness sort to say, ignorance and insult are their main weapons. To break free is my goal I guess.