Man must pay child support, DNA proves he's not the dad

[Onkel Neal]

A Toronto man is on the hook to pay child support, despite the fact that a DNA test proves he is not the biological father of his ex-wife’s twins, an Ontario Superior Court judge has ruled.

Justice Katherine van Rensburg ordered Pasqualino Cornelio to continue paying child support to the 16-year-old twins regardless of whether he was bamboozled by a philandering wife.

http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/canada/2009/01/08/7957701.html

Man, what a jacked up system. Child support laws and divorce custody laws are so slanted. Anything to keep the state off the hook, I guess.

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[XabbaRus]

Hm not that simple though. Is being a father simply biology or more.

It seems he was with his wife when the kids were born and split up when the children were older. Only after his ex wanted more did he do a DNA test and found out the truth. If he had the suspicion earlier he should have got it done.

To the twins he is their dad. I don't deny the wife isn't a cow but you can't suddenly disown children like that. I'd set up a trust account have half the money to the wife and the other half into an account neither she nor the girls can touch till they are older.

[Fincuan]

There was a similar case here just a couple of months back. In this case the man was trying to get back his child support monies after learning the child was not his. The municipal court decided in his favor, but this decision was overturned by the Court of Appeal. In Finland there's still one court higher than these, but I don't know if the poor fella was granted the permission to present his case there.

Sometimes it just sucks to be a man.

[GoldenRivet]

chick judge

[XabbaRus]

It's not that simple.

Imagine your dad who you thought from the day you were born was your dad. Your folks then split up and you have a comfortable life 'cos your dad paid his dues. You might even have a decent relationship.

Then one day that is all taken away because of a DNA test, your dad doesn't want to pay anymore - forget the years when your folks were together and ok, forget the times after when you still saw your dad and it was fun.

I can see the judges point. It was only when the bill was upped did he go and have a test...

[GoldenRivet]

screw him if thats how he feels, i have worn those shoes before my friend.

but imagine I'M the dad.

Imagine for many years of my life i have been raising 2 kids that didnt belong to me.

despite how i felt about the kids... I WOULD BE PISSED, and i would probably rather not pay the child support any more.

that wife can find the man who owes her that money. i would still have an emotional attachment no doubt but i would have zero monetary responsibility.

16 years is a long time to be living a lie... not all men would take the attitude of "ohhhh awwwww well thats okay... because we love each other."

there happen to be a lot of men who would just dig 3 holes in the ground and put that "wife" and his "kids" in the ground.

[Frame57]

In my first marriage this is precisely what happened to me. I thought I was the daddy of a baby girl and it turns out that my ex (which is why she is an ex) decided to have a fling and got knocked up. This after 8 years of marriage. I spent thousands of dollars because the child was born premature. My family spent time and money growing attached to our girl and when this hit it caused no end of grief in my family. Once I found out the suspect sperm donor I went to court with a good attorney and we got a court ordered DNA. The judge was a right winger and nailed this guy to the wall for monies going back 8 years with interest. His parents actually went against him as they were filthy rich and they wanted custody of the child after our divorce. My ex tried to sue me for the award after all was said and done and her case got thrown out. I never thought in a million years something like that would happen, but it did. I was lucky in that I had a good attorney and Judge. The girl passed away due to complications of cerebral palsey a few years ago.

[XabbaRus]

Sorry to hear that Frame57 and I'm not having a go. You have been through it. all I'm saying that sitting on this side of the article it's easy to make judgements about whether it is right or wrong. I'm just thinking about the children.

As for the ex-wife of that guy, I don't agree she should be asking for more than what he was already paying. by all means find the scumbag who she had an affair with and go after him for the money.

If it happened to me I don't know how I'd react.

I think I'd go this way. Go to court get custody and keep the ex away...Though who can say till one is (hopefully not) in the situation.

[baggygreen]

She ought to be forced to repay every cent, as should every other mother (its almost always the mother) who has committed adultery and then stolen from the poor 'fathers'.

there is also no way I'd be letting her keep custody. What kind of environment can she possibly be bringing them up in if everything around them is a lie?

Sure, i know its a more extreme view, but I'm fed up to the back teeth with the child support system here, and by the sounds of it everywhere. Women get a free ride, they're always the innocent victims, even when faced with overwhelming and irrefutable evidence.

It really sh!ts me up the wall.

[Kapt Z]

Who wouldn't be pissed at the ex! That being said 16 years is quite a relationship parent/child. I could see it if the kids were 16mos... but to try and cut off their funding after 16 years? He's still their dad even if he is not the actual sperm donor. Since his ex doesn't know who the 'father' was I suppose the courts felt their hands tied.

I'd want a darn good lawyer to verify that the payments were being used for the kids' needs not the ex's. That would be my biggest issue. And LOTs of visitation rights.

[Aramike]

Originally Posted by Kapt Z

Who wouldn't be pissed at the ex! That being said 16 years is quite a relationship parent/child. I could see it if the kids were 16mos... but to try and cut off their funding after 16 years? He's still their dad even if he is not the actual sperm donor. Since his ex doesn't know who the 'father' was I suppose the courts felt their hands tied.

I'd want a darn good lawyer to verify that the payments were being used for the kids' needs not the ex's. That would be my biggest issue. And LOTs of visitation rights.

First of all, there's a very good chance that the father isn't going to be able to continue a relationship with the children. That being said, why should he be forced to PAY for those children when, all that really is doing is shifting the financial burden to him from the mother?

He should be able to choose what to do, here.

[Skybird]

Tough call. Probably best option was and is to decide in favour of what is best for the children, and ruling out that one of the parents could use them to rip of his/her partner. Because the children still exist and need to exist on - no matter who is responsible for them being created. - But I am often wondering how easily some people come together, and how quickly they start to share life and bed. I'm over 40 and in these years only had one girl ever making me to start planning for a shared future, and her doing the same. In other words: be more hesitent to bind yourself, and check twice the person you think about. Many people seeing their relations breaking apart - simply acted foolish and premature when starting them. An old song by Peter Horton says "Du brauchst mehr als nur die Liebe, dein Herz braucht den Verstand, denn sonst ist die größte Liebe wie ein Zimmer ohne Wand." Heart AND brains - both is needed.

[Onkel Neal]

[quote=Aramike]

Originally Posted by Kapt Z

First of all, there's a very good chance that the father isn't going to be able to continue a relationship with the children. That being said, why should he be forced to PAY for those children when, all that really is doing is shifting the financial burden to him from the mother?

He should be able to choose what to do, here.

Exactly. He should have the choice. He should be allowed to decide his relationship with these children, and how he wants to assist. The people responsible are the mother and the MIA father. They should be required to cover the cost of raising their children. Whenever it comes to $$$ the mother and judge always look to the man.

[Kapt Z]

Originally Posted by Aramike

First of all, there's a very good chance that the father isn't going to be able to continue a relationship with the children. That being said, why should he be forced to PAY for those children when, all that really is doing is shifting the financial burden to him from the mother?

He should be able to choose what to do, here.

I guess I was looking at it from the perspective of being a father myself. I couldn't imagine terminating a relationship with my daughter after loving her and raising her for 16 years just because I found out now she was not my 'real' daughter. I'm sure the relationship would be 'different', but I'd still love her and want her in my life.

Now maybe this guy had a crappy relationship with the kids anyway so that's a whole other deal.

I would hope the courts would give the mother more flak over not knowing the name of the 'father'. He or his relatives should bear their fair share certainly. In the end though it sounds like the court was pretty much saying, "16 years is a little late for the paternity test, pal."

I'm sure he could continue to appeal. Legal fees know no ceiling.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Originally Posted by Neal Stevens

Exactly. He should have the choice. He should be allowed to decide his relationship with these children, and how he wants to assist. The people responsible are the mother and the MIA father. They should be required to cover the cost of raising their children. Whenever it comes to $$$ the mother and judge always look to the man.

Freedom of choice? I like that answer.