The Bilge

[Wolferz]

Welcome to the Bilge.
A club for scallywags and ne'er-do-wells and the occasional pirate radio DJ.

We are an equal opportunity insult club formerly known as Ubirats in the bilges. Since Ubisoft decided to claim explicit domain on everything Ubisoft, whether created by them or not, I've broken all mooring lines with a fire axe. Well, chopped them off really. We are now free to navigate the ins and outs of outrageous misfortune. I hope she doesn't mind too much.

We, the management, welcome one and all for beer and laughs.
We only ask that you keep it clean by not puking on the floor. It smells bad enough in here already.
I got a new coffee maker, Armistead and you're in charge of it. I hope you made enough on the slug bait to buy some coffee and filters. I spent the last of the petty cash on a mani/peti with a happy ending. That Vietnamese girl is good, let me tell ya.

[Armistead]

First, while we did exodus from Ubisoft....we remain a core group of Ubirats, our inner core where only a few know the secret handshake.

Seems we did elect you as leader or just figured you were stupid enough to lead us by not leading us, but I think the original rats should vote on your proclamation that the bilge can now be open to the common rat? Should anyone be allowed to be a rat is the question? Now, as a member in full standing, I have benefitted a few with honorary rat membership for a day or so, including all benefits....but I never told them our codes, ritual, secrets, etc....Do we really want all of this to be known is another question? Shouldn't we at least charge a entry fee, better yet...monthly fees?

I was originally voted or took the office of Treasurer.. is the coffee pot an additional office or have I lost my previous office?

Anyways, I think votes should be taken on anyone wanting to be part of your new bilge, with it known to all the Ubirats are in control.

Anyways again, I'll make a list of my complaints and concerns for our next corporate meeting.

I don't think you were voted in as leader and we can sure not vote you in again..

[Armistead]

My first vote is to change the secret handshake.




{Really, whose idea was it we shed our pants and grab and shake each others wankers to start with...}

[fireftr18]

We need to keep the club exclusive to those of us who migrated from Ubisoft. Everyone else can be a welcome guest member with all privileges, except of course our secret codes, rituals, secrets, etc. They don't want to know them anyway.
Armistead, I agree with you about the secret handshake, let's just get rid of it.
Wolferz, I don't remember voting you as leader either, but if you want the long thankless hours, then that's fine by me. I'll take up my usual spot in the corner, and speak up now and then. By the way, I want my ax back.

Now, for first order of business, I propose we put up a memorial picture of the long lost Wernher VonTrapp.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by fireftr18

We need to keep the club exclusive to those of us who migrated from Ubisoft. Everyone else can be a welcome guest member with all privileges, except of course our secret codes, rituals, secrets, etc. They don't want to know them anyway.
Armistead, I agree with you about the secret handshake, let's just get rid of it.
Wolferz, I don't remember voting you as leader either, but if you want the long thankless hours, then that's fine by me. I'll take up my usual spot in the corner, and speak up now and then. By the way, I want my ax back.

Now, for first order of business, I propose we put up a memorial picture of the long lost Wernher VonTrapp.

I don't know about getting rid of the secret handshake, just put some time limits on it?

I think I voted Wolferz as leader and that was good enough for him.

Someone gave you an axe?

I agree about a picture of Wern. Just so happens he sent me a baby picture of himself...or is that his self...anyways...one I used in one of my tales of him in the "life of Wern". let's hang it in the head in his memory..

[STEED]

What the hell you going on about here?

Sounds like some sordid back street pub selling beer in boob mugs and filth dirty magazines so filthy they will make your eyes pop out at the filthy state they are in after been dropped in a muddy puddle.

No point calling the police their all at the lodge working on their new doggy wink wink say no more.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by STEED

What the hell you going on about here?

Sounds like some sordid back street pub selling beer in boob mugs and filth dirty magazines so filthy they will make your eyes pop out at the filthy state they are in after been dropped in a muddy puddle.

No point calling the police their all at the lodge working on their new doggy wink wink say no more.

I have no problem letting him in....

[Tango589]

If you're looking for a willing misfit to join your ranks, I put myself forward.

If I'm not welcome, then sod the lot of you, I'll go and start my own club.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

If you're looking for a willing misfit to join your ranks, I put myself forward.

If I'm not welcome, then sod the lot of you, I'll go and start my own club.

not the attitude to get a deal done...

Feel free to start your own club, but we'll sue if you start using our handshake.

[Tango589]

Originally Posted by Armistead

not the attitude to get a deal done...

Feel free to start your own club, but we'll sue if you start using our handshake.

I thought a certain truculence would help me fit in better. My bad.

FYI, no handshake I came up with would ever involve dropped trousers and waggled wangers, but who an I to judge?

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

I thought a certain truculence would help me fit in better. My bad.

FYI, no handshake I came up with would ever involve dropped trousers and waggled wangers, but who an I to judge?

Well, to be a full member with benefits, we do have certain rituals to go through.....It weeds out misfits and builds trust...

[Armistead]

I found the original Ubirat membership, details and other stuff from a few years ago...

Just thought it would be helpful...

Chairman - Armistead

President - Wolferz
Vice President - Werner Von Trapp {AWOL}
Treasurer - MWolfe1963 {AKA Armistead}
Director of Alcohol - Cmdrmoose
Chief Quality Officer {hires hookers/booze tester} Swamprat69
Director of Pubic Affairs - Blowtanks
Dept of Heads {head cleaner} Fireftr18
Director of Marketing - {speeches and spellchecking} -paulhager
Director of Trash - nohunt
Head of Security -{Chairman's Guard} captgeo
Director of Coffee Pot/Pinup Model RatGirl/Nurse/Laundry - donna577

Members in Good Standing
Celeon999
Yooper
Tambor
Loulouis

Members Standing
cgkstealth

Members Sitting {poor standing}
Andypandy
denis4510
Oldfart
merc4ulfate
Bigdog
bubblehead

Honorary Members
{Neal }

Ubirat HALL OF FAME
{None Yet}

{I found our first meeting minutes}

02/31/2012

Come to order
Everyone give the secret handshake
ouch
ouch
ouch
AHHhhh
I can't
Yessss...
Enough with the secret handshake...
AWWW
Dern...
hiccup
Who farted
Anyone got anything to say
Bite me
bring in the girls
We need to order toilet paper
wirebrush works
Use your hand like always

ORDER ORDER!

order what
Beer
Girls
toilet paper

ANYTHING IMPORTANT

Fireftr has a strange rash on his nads
How do you know?
I vote we conclude the meeting {Fireftr18}
Me too
Yea
Burp
Meeting adjourned..

[Wolferz]

Time to unflush the Bilge!

That's right! I ain't dead yet.

FAAAaaaaart!


So, I made the move out of banian territory annd back to the bluegrass.

And now I'm hiding out to avoid catching the creeping crud that's devestating the planet. Though I think I had it a few years back. Caught something right before Christmas of 17 and didn't shake it until March of 18.

Anyhoo, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Right?

Thank you for the birthday greeting, Aktungbby. I fixed the full inbox.

[Catfish]

^ Oh god it stinks

Good to see you again, and sry i forgot your birthday! After all you are one of the old farts i have known since the bilge began to fill.
A belated Happy Birthday Wolferz, and all the best from the bilge!

[Onkel Neal]

Hey welcome back. So, what happened to the original Bilge thread?

What is "banian territory", btw?