Christmas Cracker Jokes - Page 3

Jimbuna · 01-10-20, 09:37 AM

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

Moonlight · 01-10-20, 01:24 PM

Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
"Holly" wood

Eichhörnchen · 01-10-20, 01:52 PM

What goes 'Black-White Black-White Black-White' ?

A Penguin rolling downhill

Rockstar · 01-10-20, 02:33 PM

You are really good at this Mr. Squirrel.

Eisenwurst · 01-10-20, 11:22 PM

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck??

A Christmas quacker.

Jimbuna · 01-11-20, 08:05 AM

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

Eisenwurst · 01-11-20, 05:27 PM

What's the best Christmas present??

A broken drum, you can't beat it.

Eichhörnchen · 01-11-20, 05:36 PM

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells

Jimbuna · 01-12-20, 08:19 AM

What goes Ho, Ho, Ho, thump?
Santa laughing his head off!

Moonlight · 01-12-20, 09:49 AM

Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping.

Eichhörnchen · 01-12-20, 12:54 PM

What does a soccer team do when the pitch is flooded?

They bring on the Subs

Moonlight · 01-12-20, 05:48 PM

Excuse me for being a bit thick Mr Squirrel but what's the above post got to do with christmas?

Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.

Eisenwurst · 01-12-20, 08:01 PM

Why does Santa live at the North Pole??

'Cause that's where his house is.

Jimbuna · 01-13-20, 12:35 PM

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it 'soots' him!

Eichhörnchen · 01-13-20, 04:52 PM

What do you call a snowman in the Summer?

A puddle

01-10-20, 09:37 AM	#31
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,412 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-10-20, 01:24 PM	#32
Moonlight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Fookhall Copse Posts: 2,543 Downloads: 184 Uploads: 0	Where do mistletoe go to become famous? "Holly" wood __________________

01-10-20, 01:52 PM	#33
Eichhörnchen Starte das Auto Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: The Fens Posts: 17,499 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	What goes 'Black-White Black-White Black-White' ? A Penguin rolling downhill __________________

01-10-20, 11:22 PM	#35
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,809 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?? A Christmas quacker. __________________

01-11-20, 08:05 AM	#36
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,412 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-10-20, 02:33 PM	#34
Rockstar In the Brig Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Zendia Bar & Grill Posts: 12,614 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	You are really good at this Mr. Squirrel.

01-11-20, 05:27 PM	#37
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,809 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	What's the best Christmas present?? A broken drum, you can't beat it. __________________

01-11-20, 05:36 PM	#38
Eichhörnchen Starte das Auto Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: The Fens Posts: 17,499 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells __________________

01-12-20, 08:19 AM	#39
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,412 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What goes Ho, Ho, Ho, thump? Santa laughing his head off! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-12-20, 09:49 AM	#40
Moonlight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Fookhall Copse Posts: 2,543 Downloads: 184 Uploads: 0	Why do Mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping. __________________

01-12-20, 12:54 PM	#41
Eichhörnchen Starte das Auto Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: The Fens Posts: 17,499 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	What does a soccer team do when the pitch is flooded? They bring on the Subs __________________

01-12-20, 05:48 PM	#42
Moonlight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Fookhall Copse Posts: 2,543 Downloads: 184 Uploads: 0	Excuse me for being a bit thick Mr Squirrel but what's the above post got to do with christmas? Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log. __________________

01-12-20, 08:01 PM	#43
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,809 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Why does Santa live at the North Pole?? 'Cause that's where his house is. __________________

01-13-20, 12:35 PM	#44
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,412 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it 'soots' him! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-13-20, 04:52 PM	#45
Eichhörnchen Starte das Auto Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: The Fens Posts: 17,499 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	What do you call a snowman in the Summer? A puddle __________________

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