GAME: Post Your Jokes

Blacklight · 12-12-07, 04:42 PM

A mushroom goes to a party. He sees this hot girl and says "Hey baby ! Wanna dance ?"
She says, "No ! You're ugly !"
He says "But I'm a FUN GUY !!!"

:rotfl:

Ducimus · 12-12-07, 06:23 PM

All i know are really old ones, or the standard BS you learn in the service.

---------
Guy goes to a western style bar and see's theres a contest.
"Make the horse out front laugh, and win this jar of money".
So the guy goes out front, and whispers something in the horses ear.
Horse starts laughing louder then Mr Ed.
Guy has a drink, and takes the jar of money as he leaves.

Next week, same guy comes back, same horse, new contest.
"Make the horse out front cry, and win this jar of money".
So the guy goes out front, takes the horse around back, brings the horse around, crying a river.

Guy goes up to the bartender, "i think i win that one!". Bartender asks, aren't you the guy who won last week? You didnt hurt that horse did you?! Guy replies, "Nah, i didnt touch the horse, he's fine". Bartender then asks, "well then tell me, how'd you do it?"
Guy says, "well last week i told him my d**k was bigger then his - this week i showed him."
----------------

Q. How do you kill a batallion of Marines?
A. Glue sand on a wall, and tell them to storm the beach.

--------------------------

Jokes to play on the FNG -ask him to fetch you a:
- Metric cresent wrench
- a block stretcher
- left handed hammer
- bucket of propwash
- jerrycan of K9-P.

joegrundman · 12-12-07, 07:24 PM

man walks into a bar with a dog and orders a drink.
the guy next to him says, hey buddy, does your dog bite?
No, he's a really friendly animal, never bit anyone.

So the guy reaches down and pats the dog. It bites his hand quite hard.

Ow, he yells, i thought you said your dog didn't bite!

It's not my dog, answered the man.

TarJak · 12-12-07, 07:25 PM

kiwi_2005 · 12-13-07, 12:03 AM

Gman Borat

Blacklight · 12-13-07, 01:20 AM

These three ropes walk into a bar.
There is a sign over the bar that says "We don't serve ropes"
So the first rope walks up the bar and says, "Hey bartender ! Gimme a beer"
The bartender says "I'm sorry sir. You'll have to leave. We don't serve ropes here."
So the seccond rope walks up the the bar and tries to act tough, "Yo bartender. Gimme a beer !"
The bartender says "We don't serve ropes !!" and has the bouncer toss the rope out.
So the third rope ties himself all up and messes up his hair and walks in...
"Hey bartender ! Gimme a beer !"
The bartender eyes him suspiciously and says "Hey buddy ! Are you a rope ?"

"Nope... I'm a frayed knot !!!"

:rotfl:

kiwi_2005 · 12-13-07, 03:35 AM

Bad start to a morning......
On the way to the office this morning, I rear-ended a car. Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf, poor bastard.
He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said "I am not happy"
I said, "Well, which one are you then?"
. . . . and that's how the fight started!!

12-12-07, 04:42 PM	#1
Blacklight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 2,507 Downloads: 145 Uploads: 0	A mushroom goes to a party. He sees this hot girl and says "Hey baby ! Wanna dance ?" She says, "No ! You're ugly !" He says "But I'm a FUN GUY !!!" :rotfl: __________________ Be my friend or be a mushroom cloud. "I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes !"

12-12-07, 07:24 PM	#3
joegrundman Ocean Warrior Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 2,689 Downloads: 34 Uploads: 0	man walks into a bar with a dog and orders a drink. the guy next to him says, hey buddy, does your dog bite? No, he's a really friendly animal, never bit anyone. So the guy reaches down and pats the dog. It bites his hand quite hard. Ow, he yells, i thought you said your dog didn't bite! It's not my dog, answered the man. __________________ "Enemy submarines are to be called U-Boats. The term submarine is to be reserved for Allied under water vessels. U-Boats are those dastardly villains who sink our ships, while submarines are those gallant and noble craft which sink theirs." Winston Churchill

12-13-07, 12:03 AM	#5
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Gman Borat __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

12-13-07, 01:20 AM	#6
Blacklight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 2,507 Downloads: 145 Uploads: 0	These three ropes walk into a bar. There is a sign over the bar that says "We don't serve ropes" So the first rope walks up the bar and says, "Hey bartender ! Gimme a beer" The bartender says "I'm sorry sir. You'll have to leave. We don't serve ropes here." So the seccond rope walks up the the bar and tries to act tough, "Yo bartender. Gimme a beer !" The bartender says "We don't serve ropes !!" and has the bouncer toss the rope out. So the third rope ties himself all up and messes up his hair and walks in... "Hey bartender ! Gimme a beer !" The bartender eyes him suspiciously and says "Hey buddy ! Are you a rope ?" "Nope... I'm a frayed knot !!!" :rotfl: __________________ Be my friend or be a mushroom cloud. "I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes !"

12-13-07, 03:35 AM	#7
kiwi_2005 Eternal Patrol Join Date: May 2004 Location: Aeoteroa Posts: 7,382 Downloads: 223 Uploads: 1	Bad start to a morning...... On the way to the office this morning, I rear-ended a car. Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf, poor bastard. He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said "I am not happy" I said, "Well, which one are you then?" . . . . and that's how the fight started!! __________________ RIP kiwi_2005 Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

12-12-07, 06:23 PM	#2
Ducimus Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,987 Downloads: 67 Uploads: 2	All i know are really old ones, or the standard BS you learn in the service. --------- Guy goes to a western style bar and see's theres a contest. "Make the horse out front laugh, and win this jar of money". So the guy goes out front, and whispers something in the horses ear. Horse starts laughing louder then Mr Ed. Guy has a drink, and takes the jar of money as he leaves. Next week, same guy comes back, same horse, new contest. "Make the horse out front cry, and win this jar of money". So the guy goes out front, takes the horse around back, brings the horse around, crying a river. Guy goes up to the bartender, "i think i win that one!". Bartender asks, aren't you the guy who won last week? You didnt hurt that horse did you?! Guy replies, "Nah, i didnt touch the horse, he's fine". Bartender then asks, "well then tell me, how'd you do it?" Guy says, "well last week i told him my d**k was bigger then his - this week i showed him." ---------------- Q. How do you kill a batallion of Marines? A. Glue sand on a wall, and tell them to storm the beach. -------------------------- Jokes to play on the FNG -ask him to fetch you a: - Metric cresent wrench - a block stretcher - left handed hammer - bucket of propwash - jerrycan of K9-P.

12-12-07, 07:25 PM	#4
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8

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