The Bilge

[Eichhörnchen]

Not wishing to aggravate any sensitive feelings, but who are you going to get to do your cooking down there in that putrid bung-hole of yours, if Donna really has gone? I might be persuaded to help out for a consideration, but it would be sure to contain traces of nuts (and maybe the odd caterpillar)...

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Eichhornchen

Not wishing to aggravate any sensitive feelings, but who are you going to get to do your cooking down there in that putrid bung-hole of yours, if Donna really has gone? I might be persuaded to help out for a consideration, but it would be sure to contain traces of nuts (and maybe the odd caterpillar)...

Donna had a meltdown due to the conditions in the bilge. She is currently under the care of the bilge psychologist. Once we get her meds adjusted, she'll be be returned to duty.

All the guys in the bilge stand firmly behind Donna during this time......

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Eichhornchen

Not wishing to aggravate any sensitive feelings, but who are you going to get to do your cooking down there in that putrid bung-hole of yours, if Donna really has gone? I might be persuaded to help out for a consideration, but it would be sure to contain traces of nuts (and maybe the odd caterpillar)...

Donna had a meltdown due to the conditions in the bilge. She is currently under the care of the bilge psychologist.

Our new Chef...

vs Donna's meltdown issue:

[Armistead]

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod

[Wolferz]

Ratatouille again?!
Nice.

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Armistead

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod

HEY! if Tango says grace while he's cookin'... It'll save us the trouble. and that'll be the sin we drop in the box!

[swamprat69er]

You guys can drop all your sins in the box......I am pure, I don't sin.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

HEY! if Tango says grace while he's cookin'... It'll save us the trouble. and that'll be the sin we drop in the box!

BTW, your request to bring a goat on patrol has been approved as "meals on hoof" by Wolferz. Please keep it tied up...

[Aktungbby]

UH HUH I'll bring the goat but we're lockin' up the Aft-O-Glide while it's aboard! No messin' with the nanny!

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

UH HUH I'll bring the goat but we're lockin' up the Aft-O-Glide while it's aboard! No messin' with the nanny!

What goes on aft, stays in the aft......Don't forget the sin box!

There's been a lot of activity in the head lately along with a bunch of grunting. With Wolferz sliding some directives under the door, I believe he's coming back to normal and we'll be making headway soon....

Aktunk, I'm promoting you to COB so you'll be positioned directly under me. Time to start whipping the crew into shape....

[Tango589]

Originally Posted by Armistead

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod

If I'm doing the cooking I can use the sins dropped in the confession box to add some much needed roughage to the diet. I don't know where the hell Donna kept the ingredients but there's nothing in here apart from some strips of shoe leather, a jar full of long deceased cockroaches, gravy granules, some of those weird mushrooms I had to endure recently and half a bottle of salad cream that has gone green round the gills. So, seeing as we're still in dock, I nominate Swampy to take some cash out of the kitty and come back with 6 large fish and chip dinners. Anyone who wishes to stop by the galley with recipe ideas will receive 3 Hail Marys, a benediction and a shot of Communion Brew (Bilge Brew with an added extra shot of bilge water that has been three-times blessed by Pope Benedictus the Umpteenth).

[swamprat69er]

Originally Posted by Tango589

6 large fish and chip dinners.

Tuna?

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

If I'm doing the cooking I can use the sins dropped in the confession box to add some much needed roughage to the diet. I don't know where the hell Donna kept the ingredients but there's nothing in here apart from some strips of shoe leather, a jar full of long deceased cockroaches, gravy granules, some of those weird mushrooms I had to endure recently and half a bottle of salad cream that has gone green round the gills. So, seeing as we're still in dock, I nominate Swampy to take some cash out of the kitty and come back with 6 large fish and chip dinners. Anyone who wishes to stop by the galley with recipe ideas will receive 3 Hail Marys, a benediction and a shot of Communion Brew (Bilge Brew with an added extra shot of bilge water that has been three-times blessed by Pope Benedictus the Umpteenth).

Our food supplies are limited because it's a one way trip to Wewak. Back during WW1 when Wolferz was a young Lt, he led a mutiny of his first command where we lived among the natives. Please note, I was tricked to go along.We left Norfolk in small minelayer, went south, through the Panama Canal and got lost in the vastness of the Pacific..

Things went well at first, we made friends, danced, drank and learned to enjoy the native diet. Here is a picture of Wolferz and Wern. Wolferz fell madly in love with Chief Buka's daughter in this photo named Kinki.


Chief Buka declared that Wolferz would take his daughters hand in marriage to provide him many grandchildren.



Well, Wolferz was all good about it, until he found out he wasn't being married to Kinki, but her sister, Princess Lulu.



Wolferz tried to get out of the wedding, but was forced and over the next 10 years Lulu provided Wolferz with 13 children. We finally planned our escape during the festivus of bull testes. We took the one remaining lifeboat and spent 32 days at sea. It got bad, we got hungry. I knew death was upon me, so I proudly stood bare before the men and said "when I die, please eat my flesh so you may live." After vomiting from overwhelming sadness, Wolferz somehow found energy, stood up and ordered the men to ROW...and we made it back home..





I believe Wolferz plans to return to Wewak and find his first love Kinki after seeking revenge on Chief Buka and Lulu...

Some think I'm mad, I'm just in the know...

[Jimbuna]

^ Possibly the best and funniest post on this thread.

[Armistead]

I think I will nominate "The Bilge" for thread of the year. With our vast membership it would be a powerful voting block and with a win for Wolferz. maybe we would be taken seriously.