The Bilge

[Jeff-Groves]

This thread is just so wrong!
I can't figure out why none of you work for us yet.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Jeff-Groves

This thread is just so wrong!
I can't figure out why none of you work for us yet.

we chosen not to work at all, that's why we joined the navy, we're living off the govt....

doesn't mean some of us don't want change, but we're only good as those that lead us and right now our leader is passed out on the head....or throne as he calls it....

[Buddahaid]

Passed out, you amatuer! That's deep in advanced thinking technique. I mean everyone knows that!

[Wolferz]

Huh? Wha?

Whoozzat?
>hic< zzz

[Tango589]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Huh? Wha?

Whoozzat?
>hic< zzz

And so the Mighty Leader speaketh, but no-one took the blindest bit of notice and carried on as usual. I'm going to have a reversible sign made up for Wolferz' throne room. On one side it'll say 'Occupied by the Captain', and on the other it'll say 'Back in 5 minutes'.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Buddahaid

Passed out, you amatuer! That's deep in advanced thinking technique. I mean everyone knows that!

I've seen his plans, he plans to sail us all to Wewak to live amongst the natives, installing himself as king.

Then there's me, overlooked for leadership. I have a plan to make us men again, charts, graphs, advanced social training and vigorous exercise. With me, you have a chance to actually fight the enemy and die proudly for your country. Don't any of you want to be heroes?

WHO"S WITH ME?

[Jimbuna]

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I've seen his plans, he plans to sail us all to Wewak to live amongst the natives, installing himself as king.

Then there's me, overlooked for leadership. I have a plan to make us men again, charts, graphs, advanced social training and vigorous exercise. With me, you have a chance to actually fight the enemy and die proudly for your country. Don't any of you want to be heroes?

WHO"S WITH ME?

You're confused again. As usual.

The object is to make the other guys die for their country.
If you allow yourself to be killed, I'll have no choice but to bring you up on charges of DESTRUCTION OF GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

You're confused again. As usual.

The object is to make the other guys die for their country.
If you allow yourself to be killed, I'll have no choice but to bring you up on charges of DESTRUCTION OF GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.

Not likely we're gonna die here in port. Can't we just take a spin around the bay and see what our one working engine can do? Can I steer just once?

[Aktungbby]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Not likely we're gonna die here in port. Can't we just take a spin around the bay and see what our one working engine can do? Can I steer just once?

NOPE! you are the indispensable man! IE: the forward torpedo crew of our bilgerat pigboat!(It's literally a one man job!) Job description as follows: LT Armistead to personally detonate the SPAR torpedo: a series of lines that operates the spar torpedo that must be carefully pulled in sequence, in the dark, and possibly under fire. As with the immortal LT Cushing.... you coolly execute the task, a bullet(s) may "tear at his collar, and two more ripped through his clothing." the 16-foot-long iron pole that served as the sub’s weapon delivery system,... Not a release mechanism but rather the copper sleeve of the torpedo itself. This means the torpedo (120 lbs black powder??!!) exploded at the end of the spar, a discovery of critical importance. Due to the obvious expendability of your position, (see diagram below) You are prematurely issued The Southern Cross of Honour to maintain the remnants of your morale and the customary letter to yer next of kin has been prepared. Naturally your access to the medicinal bilge brew shall remain unhampered. We of the cranky crew will remain with the aft torpedo room shemales -as far back from the blast as possible-maintaining the remnants of our own (steel-balled) morale!