Things people steal from hotels

[Jimbuna]

The opposite to pinching but I once met an old female friend at a security conference...we met up after the day had finished and ended up leaving the hotel to look for some Indian cusine.

Afterwards we visited a bar too many and at chucking out time we returned to the bar in the hotel.

At God knows what time we ended up in my room because she reckoned she couldn't make it to her room which admittedly was much further away albeit on the same floor (very large hotel).

Being a gentleman I let her have my bed (even though it was kingsize) and I slept on the settee (honest).

Early in the morning she woke me to say she was going to her room for a shower and would I join her for breakfast.

This day was the final day of the conference so even though you were at the conference centre till 4pm you had to be checked out of your room for 11am.

Just prior to lunch I collected my gear from the room and checked it in for storage with the porter section.

When I returned from the conference area to collect my luggage I was quietly ushered into an office behind reception and asked to sit down by someone who was obviously of management level.

All manner of things were going through my mind, especially those around the subject of theft...I was pretty close to flashing my warrant card when the manager closed the office door behind me, sat slowly down and proceeded to reach inside one of his desk drawers.

After what seemed like an eternity he coughed and removed his hand from within said drawer and then I saw what he was holding....a pink pair of lacey thongs.

"Did sir know he had left these in his bed last night"?

I've never seen my female friend since which is probably just as well because I told the manager to keep/dispose of them.

I sometimes wonder if she ever realised she was one undergarment short