Pooping: You're Doing It Wrong

[TFatseas]

Poop thread...

I subscribe to the theory "If it's not broke, don't fix it".

[antikristuseke]

Originally Posted by TFatseas

Poop thread...

I subscribe to the theory "If it's not broke, don't fix it".

Your arse appears to be cracked, I'll get the stapler.

[UnderseaLcpl]

.......and with the advent of the "poop thread", Subsim sank below its officially rated depth. Perhaps the only thing more worrisome is that from the experience of its military and former military members alone, there is enough information on this precise topic to fill several volumes. I could personally contribute about 40 pages of war stories related to the absence of a toilet, and another ten or twenty involving functional indoor plumbing and portable johns - ranging from the time Cpl. Robinson accidentally defecated upon (or near) a hornet nest and ran a good two tenths of a mile through the desert with his trousers around his ankles to seek shelter in a tank hulk (which had most recently seen service as a target and a toilet) to the mysterious account of the infamous Phantom S****** of Camp Fallujah.

Yes, America's servicemembers are some of the nation's most celebrated poopers, and Marines are the finest of these. Capable of crapping anything from victory to Tiffany cufflinks to a mostly intact MRE in the most inhospitable environs on the planet, marines are justly proud of the legacy they leave in every position they occupy, provided that it is properly buried and concealed to avoid later detection by the enemy.

[Flaxpants]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

Yes, America's servicemembers are some of the nation's most celebrated poopers, and Marines are the finest of these. Capable of crapping anything from victory to Tiffany cufflinks to a mostly intact MRE in the most inhospitable environs on the planet, marines are justly proud of the legacy they leave in every position they occupy, provided that it is properly buried and concealed to avoid later detection by the enemy.

Presumably they get proper training for this?

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by Flaxpants

Presumably they get proper training for this?

The big question is, does it now include hornet's nest recognition drills.

[antikristuseke]

Probably not, that takes all the fun out of it. Besides if you look at it from the wrong angle and get stung on the "right" spot it might swell and seem bigger...

[UnderseaLcpl]

Originally Posted by Flaxpants

Presumably they get proper training for this?

Well... yes and no. There is a proper procedure for the expelling of solid waste in the field, but it is rarely followed. You're supposed to dig a shallow hole and then cover it up and conceal it when you're finished. In reality, most groundpounders use a conveniently-shaped rock or a tree with a low "Y" in the trunk if nothing else is available. They also have a tendency to make field-expedient toilets out of everything from MRE bags to the unattended headgear of other units....so there is a "right" way to do it, but most soldiers prefer something else.

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

The big question is, does it now include hornet's nest recognition drills.

It did for my fire team after that To be more precise, the training was actually to avoid areas of heavy vegetation in the desert, as where there is vegetation, there is water, and where there is water and vegetation, there are stingy and bitey things.
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Fun Fact: It is possible to cram at least twenty-three male Marine Corps recruits (stacked atop one another) into a standard toilet stall with room left to close the door. If the door is left open, up to thirty can be accomodated.Source: USMCRD San Diego (2001)

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

They also have a tendency to make field-expedient toilets out of everything from MRE bags to the unattended headgear of other units....

And of course expediency would be the only thing that might a Marine take a dump in someone else's helmet. Goes without saying.

Fun Fact: It is possible to cram at least twenty-three male Marine Corps recruits (stacked atop one another) into a standard toilet stall with room left to close the door. If the door is left open, up to thirty can be accomodated.Source: USMCRD San Diego (2001)

Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars at work!

[Flaxpants]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

Well... yes and no. There is a proper procedure for the expelling of solid waste in the field, but it is rarely followed. You're supposed to dig a shallow hole and then cover it up and conceal it when you're finished. In reality, most groundpounders use a conveniently-shaped rock or a tree with a low "Y" in the trunk if nothing else is available. They also have a tendency to make field-expedient toilets out of everything from MRE bags to the unattended headgear of other units....so there is a "right" way to do it, but most soldiers prefer something else.

Well thanks for enlightening me UnderseaLcpl, I was wondering about the correct procedure. I can certainly see the wisdom in covering it up after you're done, nothing worse than leaving a trail. cough.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by Flaxpants

nothing worse than leaving a trail.

I understand this is always a big concern after "Mexican night" in the mess hall.

[Schroeder]

Originally Posted by Flaxpants

nothing worse than leaving a trail.

I just had to think of a soldier who carefully conceals the hole he just filled to not leaving a trail, so that no one will ever know that someone was there,... then re climbing his M1A2 Abrams and driving away.

[Dowly]

Originally Posted by antikristuseke

Your arse appears to be cracked, I'll get the stapler.

[Reece]

Originally Posted by antikristuseke

Your arse appears to be cracked, I'll get the stapler.

I agree Dowly! That is really funny!