The 'What did you get for Christmas' Thread

d@rk51d3 · 12-30-09, 01:43 AM

A dead Opa.

R.I.P. Horst Hoffmann.

frau kaleun · 12-30-09, 09:15 AM

{{{{dark51d3}}}}

Them's hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Platapus · 12-30-09, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d@rk51d3

A dead Opa.

R.I.P. Horst Hoffmann.

Sorry to hear that. It has been many years since I lost my Opa and Oma.

I hope yours died with dignity and little pain.

Jimbuna · 12-30-09, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d@rk51d3

A dead Opa.

R.I.P. Horst Hoffmann.

My deepest sympathy...mine passed away December 7th.

jumpy · 01-02-10, 02:24 AM

There isn't an appropriate smiley for this, perhaps it's just as well, 'cause no one would want to see it.

Sorry to lower the mood still further...

For christmas this year I got ran out on by my other half of the last 9 years.

So not only do I now have twice the financial responsibility to the place I'm living in now, but I have no job and no woman... and more importantly, (without her) no future.

She's not gone off with someone else... so I can't hate her. But she wants to be on her own with her clinical depression and serious mental illness.
She left one evening when I went to see my parents for a couple of hours... took the cats with her and a few clothes, and left me a note saying that she was sorry and would see me in a few days to explain.
A rational explanation was not forthcoming, neither was the sobbing phonecall I got about a week later begging me to meet her in town and how she didn't want it to be over and that she loves me and all of that stuff. She's had her parents round and taken all the rest of her stuff.
Then she's sent me messages saying how sorry she is for walking out etc etc... but she won't tell me where she is, plus her mum and dad have been messing about by telling me to leave her alone....FFS SHE CALLED ME!?

At least she told them to piss off and keep out of things after that.

Ain't it great when people you love and hold in the highest esteem, treat you like a ****?

So, apart from the large amounts of alcohol induced unconsciousness, I've had the worst christmas and new year in almost 34 years.

I'm also going to loose my net connection because British Telecom need to first cancel the phone account in her name before I can take it over with the same phone number, but my ISP will cancel my ADSL service, because the telephone line account is being changed. So until all of that is sorted I will continue to be absent for a further period of time.

And none of it matters, because I still love her with as much passion and empathy as I did when we first met.

edit:

d@rk51d3 · 01-02-10, 02:42 AM

Thanks for the condolences guys and gals.

Sorry to hear your sad news too Jumpy.

I guess on the bright side.......... the new years gotta get better............. doesn't it?

Platapus · 01-02-10, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumpy

T... and more importantly, (without her) no future.

A very sad story, but honestly, I am not following the quoted statement.

You do/must/should/will have a future without her. That is simply a fact of life. It sucks that life dealt you a sh1t sandwich with no Miracle Whip, but that's life and why life mostly sucks.

Prioritize your problems. Don't get overwhelmed by the totality of your problems. Life is like eating an elephant -- take it one bite at at time.

Once you got all your faeces collimated, you can then find yourself a nice lady. In England, even if your ex was "one in a million" that means there are almost 30 just like her. LoL.

Good luck with this. Solve the problems.

Skybird · 01-02-10, 09:20 AM

Jumpy,

Platapus has it right in a way, prioritize your problems. The most urgent stuff first. If that is money to pay for your living and your flat, this is priority now.

I know that it is tempting to spend time thinking on her, and "why?" and "where?" and "what have I done?", but if you are not in a position to help, if you have no solid stand of your own, then the intention to help does not change the fact that you cannot help.

You said she suffers from depression and mental disease. Depressive people do not act rationally necessarily. It depends on whether they are in a low, or not. You can form a lot of theories on why she left, and that she meant it well with you or that she hates you, but all this currently will not lead you anywhere. For the time being, she said, she wants you to leave her alone. With the limited options of yours, there speaks nothing against doing right that - for the time being. What the future brings, you do not know, so do not assume that it already is certain. It is not.

Humans love to paint grim or bright pictures of their future, depending on the mood they are in. But that are fantasies only. The reality of the present moment stil is there, and waits for you to deal with it. If you giove up the present for the sake of painting mental images of the future, gloomy or beautiful, you bring yourself into emotional and then material trouble.

If you eventually have followed a practice of meditation in the past, this is not the time to ignore it for the sake of your self-pity, but this is a good time to focus on meditating, and observe your own reactions to this crisis. You could learn a lot from that.

If you have a freind available who has the capability to not just swallow what you feed him with, but to stay neutral and objective, talk with him over it, and let him comment from his perspective as an outsider. If there is no such person available to you, something like Tarot, if eventually you are used to that, also can be a great help and treasurechest of insights, and can help to see an issue from perspectives that before you have not taken note of.

Sorrow you will feel in such times, it will make itself felt all by itself - but you must not intentionally help it. whenever you realise your thoughts have started again to run in circles - interrupt it, and step back from your self.

There is a saying amongst psychologists: "depressions are an infectous disease". Take care! You do not want to get gotcha'd.

Skybird · 01-02-10, 09:32 AM

Oh, and what I got for christmas: a photo book, with truly fantastic photography of folding knifes - knifes of the kind that makes each of them a piece of art - and that due to their prices make most if not all of them unavailable for me.

These things compare to precious handmade collector's watches, or jewelry.

http://www.google.de/imgres?imgurl=h...%26start%3D126

frau kaleun · 01-02-10, 11:40 AM

Jumpy, so sorry to hear about your situation.

To echo what others have said somewhat, you do need to - at some point - get to the place where you can see your future without her, because no matter how it feels right now, you do have one.

That said, it takes time. So let it. Every loss comes with a period of grieving and all the anger, sadness, and other feelings that are a natural part of it, but they are temporary no matter how improbable that seems in the short term.

Throwing things like clinical depression and other mental health issues only makes it more difficult, because a person suffering from those problems can really do a number on you by yanking you back and forth - one day yes, one day no, til you don't know where you stand or what to do or if maybe just letting go and walking away is the only thing you can do to preserve your own sanity. I'll just say, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, so believe me I feel your pain. And it's really hard because you know that the person doing the yanking is in the midst of their own struggles and really can't do any better by you, even if they want to.

Anyway - nothing here that you can't get from a million other friendly, meddling advice-givers - but do take care of yourself and hang in there.

01-02-10, 02:24 AM	#5
jumpy Admiral Join Date: May 2003 Location: Midlands, UK Posts: 2,139 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	bah humbug There isn't an appropriate smiley for this, perhaps it's just as well, 'cause no one would want to see it. Sorry to lower the mood still further... For christmas this year I got ran out on by my other half of the last 9 years. So not only do I now have twice the financial responsibility to the place I'm living in now, but I have no job and no woman... and more importantly, (without her) no future. She's not gone off with someone else... so I can't hate her. But she wants to be on her own with her clinical depression and serious mental illness. She left one evening when I went to see my parents for a couple of hours... took the cats with her and a few clothes, and left me a note saying that she was sorry and would see me in a few days to explain. A rational explanation was not forthcoming, neither was the sobbing phonecall I got about a week later begging me to meet her in town and how she didn't want it to be over and that she loves me and all of that stuff. She's had her parents round and taken all the rest of her stuff. Then she's sent me messages saying how sorry she is for walking out etc etc... but she won't tell me where she is, plus her mum and dad have been messing about by telling me to leave her alone....FFS SHE CALLED ME!? At least she told them to piss off and keep out of things after that. Ain't it great when people you love and hold in the highest esteem, treat you like a ***? So, apart from the large amounts of alcohol induced unconsciousness, I've had the worst christmas and new year in almost 34 years. I'm also going to loose my net connection because British Telecom need to first cancel the phone account in her name before I can take it over with the same phone number, but my ISP will cancel my ADSL service, because the telephone line account is being changed. So until all of that is sorted I will continue to be absent for a further period of time. And none of it matters, because I still love her with as much passion and empathy as I did when we first met. edit: __________________ when you’ve been so long in the desert, any water, no matter how brackish, looks like life Last edited by jumpy; 01-02-10 at 02:47 AM.*

01-02-10, 09:20 AM	#8
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,800 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Jumpy, Platapus has it right in a way, prioritize your problems. The most urgent stuff first. If that is money to pay for your living and your flat, this is priority now. I know that it is tempting to spend time thinking on her, and "why?" and "where?" and "what have I done?", but if you are not in a position to help, if you have no solid stand of your own, then the intention to help does not change the fact that you cannot help. You said she suffers from depression and mental disease. Depressive people do not act rationally necessarily. It depends on whether they are in a low, or not. You can form a lot of theories on why she left, and that she meant it well with you or that she hates you, but all this currently will not lead you anywhere. For the time being, she said, she wants you to leave her alone. With the limited options of yours, there speaks nothing against doing right that - for the time being. What the future brings, you do not know, so do not assume that it already is certain. It is not. Humans love to paint grim or bright pictures of their future, depending on the mood they are in. But that are fantasies only. The reality of the present moment stil is there, and waits for you to deal with it. If you giove up the present for the sake of painting mental images of the future, gloomy or beautiful, you bring yourself into emotional and then material trouble. If you eventually have followed a practice of meditation in the past, this is not the time to ignore it for the sake of your self-pity, but this is a good time to focus on meditating, and observe your own reactions to this crisis. You could learn a lot from that. If you have a freind available who has the capability to not just swallow what you feed him with, but to stay neutral and objective, talk with him over it, and let him comment from his perspective as an outsider. If there is no such person available to you, something like Tarot, if eventually you are used to that, also can be a great help and treasurechest of insights, and can help to see an issue from perspectives that before you have not taken note of. Sorrow you will feel in such times, it will make itself felt all by itself - but you must not intentionally help it. whenever you realise your thoughts have started again to run in circles - interrupt it, and step back from your self. There is a saying amongst psychologists: "depressions are an infectous disease". Take care! You do not want to get gotcha'd. __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

01-02-10, 09:32 AM	#9
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,800 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Oh, and what I got for christmas: a photo book, with truly fantastic photography of folding knifes - knifes of the kind that makes each of them a piece of art - and that due to their prices make most if not all of them unavailable for me. These things compare to precious handmade collector's watches, or jewelry. http://www.google.de/imgres?imgurl=h...%26start%3D126 __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

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12-30-09, 01:43 AM	#1
d@rk51d3 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,954 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	A dead Opa. R.I.P. Horst Hoffmann.

12-30-09, 09:15 AM	#2
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	{{{{dark51d3}}}} Them's hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss.

01-02-10, 02:42 AM	#6
d@rk51d3 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,954 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	Thanks for the condolences guys and gals. Sorry to hear your sad news too Jumpy. I guess on the bright side.......... the new years gotta get better............. doesn't it?

01-02-10, 11:40 AM	#10
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Jumpy, so sorry to hear about your situation. To echo what others have said somewhat, you do need to - at some point - get to the place where you can see your future without her, because no matter how it feels right now, you do have one. That said, it takes time. So let it. Every loss comes with a period of grieving and all the anger, sadness, and other feelings that are a natural part of it, but they are temporary no matter how improbable that seems in the short term. Throwing things like clinical depression and other mental health issues only makes it more difficult, because a person suffering from those problems can really do a number on you by yanking you back and forth - one day yes, one day no, til you don't know where you stand or what to do or if maybe just letting go and walking away is the only thing you can do to preserve your own sanity. I'll just say, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, so believe me I feel your pain. And it's really hard because you know that the person doing the yanking is in the midst of their own struggles and really can't do any better by you, even if they want to. Anyway - nothing here that you can't get from a million other friendly, meddling advice-givers - but do take care of yourself and hang in there.