Fog, Rain, and Hoochie Woochie

[Brag]

Lt. Otto Kalb Writes:

24 April 1940

"Sound contact." Someone shook me awake. Crap, still 30 minutes before my watch started.

I found Balz in the hydrophone cubicle wearing Mickey Mouse pajamas and bowler hat. "It's another Spanish liner," I said, yawning.
"Nein! It's hoochie woochie." Balz went to the nav table.
I looked through the periscope into the blackest, rainiest night in the world. Useless to try and attack anything. The visibility was probably less than 300 meters.
"There," Balz said. "That ship is following the hoochie woochie 3 route I have brilliantly deduced. "Auftauchen, grosse fahrt foraus. kurs 360."
At midnight we dove again. This time we were certain the ship followed Balz's hoochie woochie 3 route. Well, almost.
We turned WNW and stopped engines.
ASn hour later we could hear the engin of a freighter approaching. Balz was on the periscope. "It's a large ship."
Sounded like the thing was coming right on top.
"Torpedo, depth 7.5 meters, give me turns for six knots. Auftauchen!"
On the bridge the weather was foul. About two hundred meters ahead, I could barelly see the wake of the freighter through the UZO.
"Feuer," Balz said. "Einz, zwei, Hoochie woochie."
32 seconds later, a huge explosion in front of the ship outlined a medium sized freighter.
"How's that for a brilliant attack?" Balz asked. "A perfect, catastrophic hoochie woochie. Shoot from behind and make the torpedo explode up front. One torpedo ,one ship."
"Jawhol, Herr Kaleun. How did we do that?"
"Einz, zwei, hoochie woochie. We fired from about 180 meters, the target moved 92 meters when the torpedo reached its stern, too early to arm. Then it armed and exploded under hold number two."

"All engines stop, all engines astern one third. "

U-52 stopped and began backing as our target was racked by a series of explosions and went down.
Balz went below, singing. "I'm a hoochie woochie captain."