My father was a member in the Hitlerjugend

[CCIP]

One interesting genealogical fact about my family is that I've had ancestors on polar opposite sides of the Communist revolution and the Tsarist/Soviet regimes. On the one hand, I'm a direct descendant of the Russian Oldenburgs (who were effectively the same family as the Romanovs) and among my lineage are surnames like Kestner (courtiers for Alexander II and, prior to that, wealthy German nobility) and Smelovski (an old Russian/Polish noble house). On the other hand, one of my great-great-grandfathers was a deputy of Dzerzhinski (founder of the Cheka, the Soviet secret police), and another had held two trade ministry posts before being denounced and repressed in the 30s (though by miracle, he survived and was later partially rehabilitated). A few years ago I found out that one of my grandfathers was also a KGB informant on Soviet merchant ships in his youth.

That said, I don't particularly feel personal guilt for any of it - it's part of my history and, perhaps ironically but more so appropriately, the different sides of my family all suffered from the other side's actions. And I certainly have not directly benefitted from any of their less savoury actions. Ironically, some were lucky to have died when they did - I know that if at least 3 different ancestors of mine had lived past the 1920s, I probably would never have been born (because their families would have been purged with them). For me, nothing says more than the fact that I'm virtually equal parts Russian, German and Finnish in my heritage - if we look at old bitterness and injustices and take it out on the descendants of the perpetrators, what am I supposed to do? Hate myself?