For all us married men...

[AVGWarhawk]

My wife made me join her bridge club ... I jump next Tuesday.

One time I went into a hotel, I asked the bellhop to handle my bag - he felt up my wife.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said "why should I you never put out for me".

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "no one drag is enough"

My wife has cut me down to once a month, I'm lucky I know two guys she cut off completely

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

One day I came home and saw a guy jogging naked, I said "Hey buddy why are you doing that", he said "cause you came home early".

Once in a restaurant I made a toast to my wife, "To the best woman a man ever had". The waiter joined me.

-Rodney Dangerfield.