Sumbarines, Carpets & Levitation (Balz)

[Brag]

"Why should I buy a magic carpet?" Balz asked Haji Baba Jimbuna as the Terror of Casablanca dragged him into the carpet emporium.
Haji Baba pointed toward the Brest Naval Base. "Because magic carpets are quieter than a U--boat. Imagine yourself inside a sub--"
Balz stomped his foot on a black cat who had quietly arrived to mooch a piece of bacon, "I don't need to imagine myself inside a submarine. I spend too much time inside submarines."
"But imagine floating inside a sub inspecting everything from a magic carpte without needing to worry stepping on cats."
"No stepping on cats, that's hoochie woochie."
"Veri hoochie woochie. Just think, quietly floating from control room, to hydrophone station and then to your bunk, eating watermelon."
The watermelon would change the ballast, could I have Russian peaches?"
°With or without cream?"
I am not buying no magic carpet nor submarines today."
"Be careful don't step on the cat."
Haji Baba Jimbuna's warning came too late. Balz stepped on a black cat's tail. The cat jumped on a shelf with rolled carpets and rolled a carpet on Balz's head.
"There, that's a perfect fit," said Jimbuna. "You have good taste. No need to change the oil on the carpet for ten thousand nautical miles."
"I never change the oil on my tea cozies."
"Ach, tea cozies are so British de classe. Meanwhile, get your money out."
Haji Baba got his dagger out. "With carpets we have a no return policy."

To be continued on your screen soon, very soon.