Have no children

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

I grew up with two sisters. I have two daughters of my own. All four have never been told that they will be incomplete if they do not have children. In fact, my one sister is adopted Korean. My other sister adopted a Korean, as well as, had two girls of her own. My soon to be 15 year old has stated she will adopt over having a child of her own birth. As far as pleasing another to have a child, no one has pressured anyone in my family. To further that notions, why not adopt a child already on this mud ball? Anyway, sorry you were pressured. It is not right.

I never said I was, not in the sense that someone in a position to do so was hanging over me shouting HAVE KIDS HAVE KIDS HAVE KIDS.'

Nevertheless there is still an assumption made by many people that having kids is the "right" or "normal" thing to do, and that if you make a decision NOT to have them it's because you're "selfish" or there is some other deep character flaw that prevents you from wanting what they think everybody is supposed to want. It's there in the looks of unspoken sympathy or even suspicion that you get from some people when they find out you are childless, as though they can't comprehend how that could have been a deliberate choice for anyone.

As for adopting, I decided very early on that if I were going to raise children, I would adopt them, simply because I felt no burning need or desire to experience pregnancy, pass on my DNA, etc., and that being the case it would be better to provide a home for a child that was already here but had none.

I have never been in a position where having a child by any means looked like a responsible choice, nor have I ever worked towards the goal of putting myself in such a position, which pretty much says that it was never a goal or a priority in my life - if it had been I would have worked to make it happen.