Humour: I need some advice for my part time job

Platapus · 01-07-11, 09:12 PM

Times being tough, I have decided to take a part time job writing greeting card sayings for Hallmark. It does not pay much but I can do it on my own time.

Hallmark, first wants me to send some samples of my writings.

Wadda think of these card sayings:

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be.
But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder... 'What the hell was I thinking?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love
After having met you .. I've changed my mind.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

################################################## ###############

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

************************************************** *****************************************

When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++

I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here.

================================================== =======

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

Think I have a shot at the job?

01-07-11, 09:12 PM	#1
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,361 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Humour: I need some advice for my part time job Times being tough, I have decided to take a part time job writing greeting card sayings for Hallmark. It does not pay much but I can do it on my own time. Hallmark, first wants me to send some samples of my writings. Wadda think of these card sayings: My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... 'What the hell was I thinking?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love After having met you .. I've changed my mind. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. ################################################## ############### Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ************************************************ *************************************** When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++ I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here. ================================================== ======= Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? Think I have a shot at the job? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.