Night Vision (Balz)

Brag · 08-24-08, 03:10 PM

Night Vision

Lt. Kalb writes:
18 September 1940
U-123

Our first patrol out of Lorient started off well. We had a good transit to the Gulf of Cadiz and the weather held while we were on station. For a week we stalked a number of ships and sank them with the deck gun. It looked like we would get record-breaking tonnage.

Nearing noon Balz was holding choir practice, swinging his head and letting the bunny ears of his tea cozy flap to the rhythm of his new march, the Einz Zwei Hoochie-woochie.

"Ship sighted," the yell came from the bridge.
A few minutes later, we were at periscope depth. Balz looked at Bernard. "Since we have only one shell left what does your great military mind tells what should we do?"
Bernard scratched his head and closed his eyes as if concentrating. He lifted his finger and announced, "We practice the one ship one shell, technique."
"Brilliant." Balz removed the tea cozy from his head and whacked, Bernard with it. "Up periscope."

Balz peered into the scope, did a 360 degree sweep. He frowned, looked at his watch, and did another sweep. "Navigator, what time is it?"
"Eleven fifty three, Herr Kaleun."
Balz looked puzzled. "You mean eleven , not twenty three hundred, right?"
"Jawhol, Herr Kaleun, approaching noon."
"Then why in the devil I can' t see a thing?"
"Oh, that's my patented new dust-cover," Bernard said. He reached over and removed electrical tape from the periscope eyepiece."
"You nitwit," Balz growled. He peered into the scope again. "I still can't see a thing."
"That's because the outside lens is taped also," Bernard replied.
"Why …would you…do something …like that?" Balz asked while his face turned the color of blood.
"To protect your night vision, Herr Kaleun."

meduza · 08-24-08, 03:19 PM

:rotfl:

headcase · 08-24-08, 04:07 PM

Will BdU court-martial Balz for Bernard's Murder, or give him another medal for ridding the KM of a blithering idiot?

KeptinCranky · 08-24-08, 04:20 PM

........

I lol'd very funny stuff.... :rotfl:

Laufen zum Ziel · 08-24-08, 05:26 PM

:rotfl: Bernard now bunks in the stern tube I assume?

bookworm_020 · 08-25-08, 02:01 AM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Nearly cracked a rib after reading it!

coronas · 08-25-08, 04:32 AM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
It's hard to be an hero with Bernard by your side.

Jimbuna · 08-25-08, 06:59 AM

hehe

U-104 · 08-25-08, 11:41 AM

:rotfl:

mcf1 · 08-25-08, 12:13 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Nearly cracked a rib after reading it!

My cracked ones started hurting again after I read it

Uncle Goose · 08-25-08, 05:01 PM

Goth, that really cracked me up, this one is the best so far

onelifecrisis · 08-25-08, 05:55 PM

That was a good one, thanks for the

Brag · 08-26-08, 05:39 AM

Glad you guys liked it

there's more underway.

Meanwhile, you can order Kingmaker. Though it's suspense, it does have some funny bits.

Jimbuna · 08-26-08, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Glad you guys liked it

there's more underway.

Meanwhile, you can order Kingmaker. Though it's suspense, it does have some funny bits.

I hope your bringing a few signed copies to the SS Meet :hmm:

Brag · 08-26-08, 01:10 PM

Unfortunatelly, I won't be able to make the meeting

08-24-08, 03:10 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Night Vision (Balz) Night Vision Lt. Kalb writes: 18 September 1940 U-123 Our first patrol out of Lorient started off well. We had a good transit to the Gulf of Cadiz and the weather held while we were on station. For a week we stalked a number of ships and sank them with the deck gun. It looked like we would get record-breaking tonnage. Nearing noon Balz was holding choir practice, swinging his head and letting the bunny ears of his tea cozy flap to the rhythm of his new march, the Einz Zwei Hoochie-woochie. "Ship sighted," the yell came from the bridge. A few minutes later, we were at periscope depth. Balz looked at Bernard. "Since we have only one shell left what does your great military mind tells what should we do?" Bernard scratched his head and closed his eyes as if concentrating. He lifted his finger and announced, "We practice the one ship one shell, technique." "Brilliant." Balz removed the tea cozy from his head and whacked, Bernard with it. "Up periscope." Balz peered into the scope, did a 360 degree sweep. He frowned, looked at his watch, and did another sweep. "Navigator, what time is it?" "Eleven fifty three, Herr Kaleun." Balz looked puzzled. "You mean eleven , not twenty three hundred, right?" "Jawhol, Herr Kaleun, approaching noon." "Then why in the devil I can' t see a thing?" "Oh, that's my patented new dust-cover," Bernard said. He reached over and removed electrical tape from the periscope eyepiece." "You nitwit," Balz growled. He peered into the scope again. "I still can't see a thing." "That's because the outside lens is taped also," Bernard replied. "Why …would you…do something …like that?" Balz asked while his face turned the color of blood. "To protect your night vision, Herr Kaleun." __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

08-24-08, 04:07 PM	#3
headcase Sparky Join Date: May 2007 Location: The wrong side of the tracks, Neverland Posts: 157 Downloads: 9 Uploads: 0	Will BdU court-martial Balz for Bernard's Murder, or give him another medal for ridding the KM of a blithering idiot? __________________ It's like the Blues. You can't play em if you haven't lived em. GWX 3.0 DID

08-24-08, 05:26 PM	#5
Laufen zum Ziel Eternal Patrol Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Hiding on the bottom Posts: 1,783 Downloads: 853 Uploads: 457	:rotfl: Bernard now bunks in the stern tube I assume? __________________ RIP Laufen zum Ziel

08-25-08, 02:01 AM	#6
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Nearly cracked a rib after reading it! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

08-25-08, 04:32 AM	#7
coronas Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2005 Location: Asturias, España Posts: 1,168 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: It's hard to be an hero with Bernard by your side. __________________

08-24-08, 03:19 PM	#2
meduza Ace of the Deep Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: on patrol Posts: 1,035 Downloads: 40 Uploads: 0	:rotfl:

08-24-08, 04:20 PM	#4
KeptinCranky Ace of the Deep Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,050 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	........ I lol'd very funny stuff.... :rotfl:

08-25-08, 06:59 AM	#8
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,561 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	hehe __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-25-08, 11:41 AM	#9
U-104 Grey Wolf Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: United States Posts: 797 Downloads: 187 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: __________________ My heart is steadfast, O God. I will sing and make music with all my soul. Ps. 108:1 Survival of the fittest does not explain arrival of the fittest. we live in a single spoken sentence.. "God said, let there be"

08-25-08, 05:01 PM	#11
Uncle Goose Torpedoman Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Belgium Posts: 113 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Goth, that really cracked me up, this one is the best so far

08-25-08, 05:55 PM	#12
onelifecrisis Maverick Modder Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: England Posts: 3,895 Downloads: 65 Uploads: 3	That was a good one, thanks for the

08-26-08, 05:39 AM	#13
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Glad you guys liked it there's more underway. Meanwhile, you can order Kingmaker. Though it's suspense, it does have some funny bits. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

08-26-08, 01:10 PM	#15
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Unfortunatelly, I won't be able to make the meeting __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/