The Plight of the Single Man - Page 2

baggygreen · 10-08-07, 03:38 AM

keep waiting boys, believe me.

firstly, cos you can spend the money on yourself, no need to keep anyone happy, you can flirt if you want, you can have boys nights out and not worry about the old lady being unhappy with it...

secondly cos when she comes shes well and truly worth the wait. You will probably find shes not where you expect her to be, either.

Kapitan_Phillips · 10-08-07, 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

There is always someone out there for everyone. Hell!! there's probably dozens of young women living in close proximity to you thinking similar thoughts.
If you are mindful to enter into a relationship it will happen as soon as you bump into your 'soul mate', believe me. I speak from personal experience.
There are too many women out there for there not to be a close match for you.
One of the secrets is.......don't rush in and make a mistake that could scar you for a long time. Be patient, choose carefully and enjoy the experience.
Most importantly of all........enjoy yourself in the meantime.

Good luck young sir.

All the best for the future

Or maybe not quite in close proximity. Speaking from my experience

Tchocky · 10-09-07, 09:03 AM

"I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who'd be really mad if she heard me say that."

Ah, Mitch Hedberg

10-09-07, 11:44 AM

Now this is an interesting topic and one not addressed enough in my oppinion, especially amongst blokes. We're all "conditioned" to bite the lip and soldier on but the fact is that men/woman are social animals and we all like a bit of fluffy company now and again.

Sure when we're young we worry less about it because we have the whole world to explore but as we get older, a little calmer perhapps, we start feeling an urge to take things a little easier, settle down perhapps...who knows.

I've recently fallen into the same boat as the original poster, my own fault really as I keep popping off on mad adventures. The last one was crossing Greenland, took a month and got dumped as soon as I got back

. I'm off again at the end of the month , this time for 2.5 months so I can sort of understand somebody not wanting to wait. Mind you, during the war people waited a lot longer....or did they :hmm:

Anyway, my advice, and i'm 42 so not sure its worth a great deal, is to carry on being you as that's what makes you unique. Who knows, maybe some of the posters here who say there is a "soul mate" for everyone out there are right, but even if not then you will eventually meet someone and things will sparkle. Just make sure you maintain a good social set so you can get out and about a bit....well they're not exactly gonna come knocking on your door out of the blue are they. The main thing is to be you and DONT TRY TOO HARD!!!

Another thing that i find a bit wierd is that most married blokes say its a pain in the ass and we should stay single. Most single blokes say its a pain in the ass and they would like to be coupled. I'm not sure if the married blokes are just saying that to cheer us single blokes up....I wish they didn't

And yet another thing that i find annoying is the way woman try to change us. I mean they like us when they meet us fo what we are, so we get together and then they do their damnest to change us. Eventually we change this and that, to keep the peace cos we like a quiet life, and then we get the famous "You're no longer the same person you were when I met you"........well thanks to you honey!!

Right, glad to get that off my chest, time to get back in my box.

AVGWarhawk · 10-09-07, 03:39 PM

One basic thing you need to keep in mind is women like attention. I do not mean fan over me attention and worship the ground I tread on attention. (although it helps sometimes) They want someone to listen to them. Someone who is not judgmental. Just listening is about the best attention you can afford them. Often you will find them attracted to this then any physical attraction. I used to clam up around the ladies until I realized they are just people with ambitions and concerns like anyone else. Once you get a grasp on that, talking and befriending them is easy. The relationship will develop down the road. Not to worry, she will be along one day.

Mikey_Wolf · 10-22-07, 10:34 AM

Well, thanks for all the replies to this guys I have had a lot of time to chew this over and since my original post, I have took a shine to somebody. She works in the Library of my college, lol, I want to ask her just to grab a cup of tea and a chat. I don't know what my chances of success are, I usually dress pretty smartly to go to college. I don't turn up like any old rag-bag so that's got to work in my favour.

I don't know, I reckon I'll give it a try and see how I get on. She says no, well, I'm back to square one again. Annoying but hey - I'm not the first and won't be the last that is for darn sure.

I'm expecting a no, so if I get a yes, it'll be a bonus.

STEED · 10-22-07, 10:41 AM

There is nothing wrong being single look at the facts -

Toilet seat in the up position
No longer waiting 30 minutes to get in to the toilet because of a women
More toilet paper for you
Hot water
No complaints about farting in the bath tub

Bliss

seafarer · 10-22-07, 10:48 AM

I'm in my late forties, and single by choice. That's the way I like it. There is a lady I do see somewhat regularly, but I have no interest in either marriage nor co-habitation. Marriage has just never appealed to me, and I've never been interested in being a father either. I've done the living together routine for a few years, but much prefer living by myself in my own place. In part, I think it's just because I cannot get motivated to make the inevitable compromises that sharing a living space with someone entails. Just the way I roll, I guess.

If you want a realtionship, go for it. But don't ever apologize to society if you choose to remain single - though some people seem to want to make you feel you need to - never understood that

Jimbuna · 10-22-07, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey_Wolf

Well, thanks for all the replies to this guys I have had a lot of time to chew this over and since my original post, I have took a shine to somebody. She works in the Library of my college, lol, I want to ask her just to grab a cup of tea and a chat. I don't know what my chances of success are, I usually dress pretty smartly to go to college. I don't turn up like any old rag-bag so that's got to work in my favour.

I don't know, I reckon I'll give it a try and see how I get on. She says no, well, I'm back to square one again. Annoying but hey - I'm not the first and won't be the last that is for darn sure.

I'm expecting a no, so if I get a yes, it'll be a bonus.

Good for you young man

Penelope_Grey · 10-22-07, 03:09 PM

Get it right tomorrow, just go for it... if she turns ya down, just tell me where to find her I got old faithful here ready (baseball bat) and an allibi already sorted! :rotfl:

If I were an only child....:hmm:

AVGWarhawk · 10-22-07, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey_Wolf

Well, thanks for all the replies to this guys I have had a lot of time to chew this over and since my original post, I have took a shine to somebody. She works in the Library of my college, lol, I want to ask her just to grab a cup of tea and a chat. I don't know what my chances of success are, I usually dress pretty smartly to go to college. I don't turn up like any old rag-bag so that's got to work in my favour.

I don't know, I reckon I'll give it a try and see how I get on. She says no, well, I'm back to square one again. Annoying but hey - I'm not the first and won't be the last that is for darn sure.

I'm expecting a no, so if I get a yes, it'll be a bonus.

Do not go in expecting a NO. Standing there befuddled and waiting on a NO will be detected by the young lady. Confidence but not overbearing is the plan! Going for a cup of tea and some conversation sounds like a good plan. Just remember about the claming up part. She is person like you with interests and such. Do not clam up, talk about what you like and do with your time. She will chime in. You do the same. Before you know it and being she is in the library working, just imagine the help she can provide in finding old dusty books on the uboat. Good way to expand on the subject matter and WW2 as a whole. Good way to have conversation. I would hope she is working in the library because of her interest in histories and such. Feel her out (figure of speech here

) and she what makes her tick

HMCS · 10-23-07, 01:46 AM

There's nothing inherently wrong with being single- but if you think that having a regular woman is necessary for happiness (I think it's a result, not a prerequisite of happiness), then this is what I advise:

Go out and either:

1. Live through your passions. A happy, busy person is more likely to draw positive attention to oneself, and that means the opposite sex. Chicks dig confidence and positive energy. It's also a huge turn-off to the ones who are bad for you. If you come from a place of insecurity and lonliness, the only women you will connect with will be those at that emotional level. And that's never really a good thing; or a long-term solution.

OR....

2. Go out and make TONS of $$$. Women are not drawn to Hugh Hefner for his...sparkling personality. He's actually somewhat banal. But he has cash. Many, many women dig cash. And power.

P_Funk · 10-23-07, 02:13 AM

I don't think you should think of it as embarking on a relationship. I just recently in the last 2 months embarked on a girl (sounds dirty doesnt it). Find a girl you fancy (and not just her massive babylons) and go with it. All this social conditioning for how we expect it to happen... its so annoying. Everyone hates it. its true girls like you to listen and to give them attention, but I think another secret is dont be a doormat. Don't be completely submissive. A little bit of hard to get is a good thing. Be popular but not always available. I've heard from reputable female sources that women find men attractive if they're not always breathing down their necks being really nice (presumably hoping to get sommat). I've never had a typical date. Just fun meetings with a 'freind' that ended in serious or not so serious snogging. Only one has been a real girlfriend (2 months and counting) and that came about randomly, and it made for alot of interesting social dynamics seeing as how she's my friend's ex girlfreind too... well not he's my ex-freind now but he was always a bit of a dick anyway.

Such a mess thats been, but she's worth it.

Ishmael · 10-23-07, 02:21 AM

Dude. I first saw my wife Janet, three weeks before I turned 14 on her mother's 51st birthday, Feb. 17,1968, crossing from Shakespeare's Book Store to Cody's Book Store across the intersection of Telegraph and Durant Avenues in Berkeley, Ca. dressed in a black silk top hat, long black velvet dress and long black velvet cape. She had turned 21 ten days before. That girl became the template for every other girl I was attracted to for the rest of my life.

I didn't finally meet her until 1989, when I was 35 and she was 42. That's when she got hit by the thunderbolt. I wrote a short story about this on my myspace blog and my writing group called,"Better Late Than Never". Long story short, we ran away together six weeks after the big SF quake rather than have an affair. It wasn't until about two months later, living on the dock of the bay, that I found out she was the girl I had seen all those years ago.

So never fear. When you seem to have lost all hope, out of left field usually, you'll get kicked in the butt by love. It will come unlooked for when you least expect it and will turn your life upside down. It sure did it to me.

TarJak · 10-23-07, 02:32 AM

The most important thing you can do is to be interested in her and what she does. Most people like to talk about themselves, so ask her questions about what she does, what she is interested in, what she reads (gotta go for that one with a librarian), movies she likes etc.

This has the added advantage of finding out whether she is someone you want to spend time with beyond the physical attraction. Don't put too much pressure on yourself with unrealistic expectations of a continuing relationship either. The first move is to find out if the feeling is mutual (i.e. she is keen enough to want to go for the cuppa), then let it flow from there.

You should go for it ask her out and don't expect a no because that won't put you in the drivers seat.

Also don't take advice from people on the internet.:rotfl::rotfl:You never know what kind of weirdos we are.:rotfl::rotfl:

10-09-07, 09:03 AM	#18
Tchocky Navy Seal Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 5,874 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	"I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who'd be really mad if she heard me say that." Ah, Mitch Hedberg __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

10-09-07, 03:39 PM	#20
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,276 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	One basic thing you need to keep in mind is women like attention. I do not mean fan over me attention and worship the ground I tread on attention. (although it helps sometimes) They want someone to listen to them. Someone who is not judgmental. Just listening is about the best attention you can afford them. Often you will find them attracted to this then any physical attraction. I used to clam up around the ladies until I realized they are just people with ambitions and concerns like anyone else. Once you get a grasp on that, talking and befriending them is easy. The relationship will develop down the road. Not to worry, she will be along one day. __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

10-22-07, 10:34 AM	#21
Mikey_Wolf Torpedoman Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: South Wales Posts: 114 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Well, thanks for all the replies to this guys I have had a lot of time to chew this over and since my original post, I have took a shine to somebody. She works in the Library of my college, lol, I want to ask her just to grab a cup of tea and a chat. I don't know what my chances of success are, I usually dress pretty smartly to go to college. I don't turn up like any old rag-bag so that's got to work in my favour. I don't know, I reckon I'll give it a try and see how I get on. She says no, well, I'm back to square one again. Annoying but hey - I'm not the first and won't be the last that is for darn sure. I'm expecting a no, so if I get a yes, it'll be a bonus. __________________ Proud Captain of U-37, U-138 (GWX 2), and U.S.S Devastator (Various mods)

10-22-07, 10:41 AM	#22
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	There is nothing wrong being single look at the facts - Toilet seat in the up position No longer waiting 30 minutes to get in to the toilet because of a women More toilet paper for you Hot water No complaints about farting in the bath tub Bliss __________________ Dr Who rest in peace 1963-2017. To borrow Davros saying...I NAME YOU CHIBNALL THE DESTROYER OF DR WHO YOU KILLED IT!

10-22-07, 10:48 AM	#23
seafarer Commodore Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 622 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	I'm in my late forties, and single by choice. That's the way I like it. There is a lady I do see somewhat regularly, but I have no interest in either marriage nor co-habitation. Marriage has just never appealed to me, and I've never been interested in being a father either. I've done the living together routine for a few years, but much prefer living by myself in my own place. In part, I think it's just because I cannot get motivated to make the inevitable compromises that sharing a living space with someone entails. Just the way I roll, I guess. If you want a realtionship, go for it. But don't ever apologize to society if you choose to remain single - though some people seem to want to make you feel you need to - never understood that __________________ My Father's ship, HMCS Waskesiu (K330), sank U257 on 02/24/1944 running SHIII-1.4 with GWX2.1 and SHIV-1.5 with TMO/RSRDC/PE3.3 under MS Vista Home Premium 32-bit SP1 ACER AMD Athlon 64x2 4800+, 4GB DDR2 RAM, 400GB SATA HD Antec TruePower Trio 650watt PSU BFG GeForce 8800GT/OC 512MB VRAM, Samsung 216BW widescreen (1680x1050) LCD

10-08-07, 03:38 AM	#16
baggygreen Sea Lord Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canberra, ACT, Down Under (really On Top) Posts: 1,880 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	keep waiting boys, believe me. firstly, cos you can spend the money on yourself, no need to keep anyone happy, you can flirt if you want, you can have boys nights out and not worry about the old lady being unhappy with it... secondly cos when she comes shes well and truly worth the wait. You will probably find shes not where you expect her to be, either.

10-09-07, 11:44 AM	#19
Uber Gruber Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	Now this is an interesting topic and one not addressed enough in my oppinion, especially amongst blokes. We're all "conditioned" to bite the lip and soldier on but the fact is that men/woman are social animals and we all like a bit of fluffy company now and again. Sure when we're young we worry less about it because we have the whole world to explore but as we get older, a little calmer perhapps, we start feeling an urge to take things a little easier, settle down perhapps...who knows. I've recently fallen into the same boat as the original poster, my own fault really as I keep popping off on mad adventures. The last one was crossing Greenland, took a month and got dumped as soon as I got back . I'm off again at the end of the month , this time for 2.5 months so I can sort of understand somebody not wanting to wait. Mind you, during the war people waited a lot longer....or did they :hmm: Anyway, my advice, and i'm 42 so not sure its worth a great deal, is to carry on being you as that's what makes you unique. Who knows, maybe some of the posters here who say there is a "soul mate" for everyone out there are right, but even if not then you will eventually meet someone and things will sparkle. Just make sure you maintain a good social set so you can get out and about a bit....well they're not exactly gonna come knocking on your door out of the blue are they. The main thing is to be you and DONT TRY TOO HARD!!! Another thing that i find a bit wierd is that most married blokes say its a pain in the ass and we should stay single. Most single blokes say its a pain in the ass and they would like to be coupled. I'm not sure if the married blokes are just saying that to cheer us single blokes up....I wish they didn't And yet another thing that i find annoying is the way woman try to change us. I mean they like us when they meet us fo what we are, so we get together and then they do their damnest to change us. Eventually we change this and that, to keep the peace cos we like a quiet life, and then we get the famous "You're no longer the same person you were when I met you"........well thanks to you honey!! Right, glad to get that off my chest, time to get back in my box.

10-22-07, 03:09 PM	#25
Penelope_Grey Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: UK Posts: 1,893 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Get it right tomorrow, just go for it... if she turns ya down, just tell me where to find her I got old faithful here ready (baseball bat) and an allibi already sorted! :rotfl: If I were an only child....:hmm: __________________ I SURVIVED THE FIRST EVER SUBSIM WEREWOLF HUNT - and... I actually won the game for the humans too!

10-23-07, 01:46 AM	#27
HMCS Sonar Guy Join Date: May 2005 Location: Squaresville, daddy-O. Posts: 394 Downloads: 186 Uploads: 0	There's nothing inherently wrong with being single- but if you think that having a regular woman is necessary for happiness (I think it's a result, not a prerequisite of happiness), then this is what I advise: Go out and either: 1. Live through your passions. A happy, busy person is more likely to draw positive attention to oneself, and that means the opposite sex. Chicks dig confidence and positive energy. It's also a huge turn-off to the ones who are bad for you. If you come from a place of insecurity and lonliness, the only women you will connect with will be those at that emotional level. And that's never really a good thing; or a long-term solution. OR.... 2. Go out and make TONS of $$$. Women are not drawn to Hugh Hefner for his...sparkling personality. He's actually somewhat banal. But he has cash. Many, many women dig cash. And power. __________________ "Turning enemy ships into marine habitat since 1986!" Mods Loaded:TMO 2.2, RSRDC, MaxOptics, Strategic Map Symbols, Stop The Shouting OR: RFB, RSRDC, Maxoptics, SCAF, Strategic Map Symbols and the sanity-saving "stop the shouting".

10-23-07, 02:13 AM	#28
P_Funk Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Canada, eh? Posts: 2,537 Downloads: 129 Uploads: 0	I don't think you should think of it as embarking on a relationship. I just recently in the last 2 months embarked on a girl (sounds dirty doesnt it). Find a girl you fancy (and not just her massive babylons) and go with it. All this social conditioning for how we expect it to happen... its so annoying. Everyone hates it. its true girls like you to listen and to give them attention, but I think another secret is dont be a doormat. Don't be completely submissive. A little bit of hard to get is a good thing. Be popular but not always available. I've heard from reputable female sources that women find men attractive if they're not always breathing down their necks being really nice (presumably hoping to get sommat). I've never had a typical date. Just fun meetings with a 'freind' that ended in serious or not so serious snogging. Only one has been a real girlfriend (2 months and counting) and that came about randomly, and it made for alot of interesting social dynamics seeing as how she's my friend's ex girlfreind too... well not he's my ex-freind now but he was always a bit of a dick anyway. Such a mess thats been, but she's worth it. __________________

10-23-07, 02:21 AM	#29
Ishmael Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Morro Bay, Ca. Posts: 659 Downloads: 79 Uploads: 0	Dude. I first saw my wife Janet, three weeks before I turned 14 on her mother's 51st birthday, Feb. 17,1968, crossing from Shakespeare's Book Store to Cody's Book Store across the intersection of Telegraph and Durant Avenues in Berkeley, Ca. dressed in a black silk top hat, long black velvet dress and long black velvet cape. She had turned 21 ten days before. That girl became the template for every other girl I was attracted to for the rest of my life. I didn't finally meet her until 1989, when I was 35 and she was 42. That's when she got hit by the thunderbolt. I wrote a short story about this on my myspace blog and my writing group called,"Better Late Than Never". Long story short, we ran away together six weeks after the big SF quake rather than have an affair. It wasn't until about two months later, living on the dock of the bay, that I found out she was the girl I had seen all those years ago. So never fear. When you seem to have lost all hope, out of left field usually, you'll get kicked in the butt by love. It will come unlooked for when you least expect it and will turn your life upside down. It sure did it to me.

10-23-07, 02:32 AM	#30
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	The most important thing you can do is to be interested in her and what she does. Most people like to talk about themselves, so ask her questions about what she does, what she is interested in, what she reads (gotta go for that one with a librarian), movies she likes etc. This has the added advantage of finding out whether she is someone you want to spend time with beyond the physical attraction. Don't put too much pressure on yourself with unrealistic expectations of a continuing relationship either. The first move is to find out if the feeling is mutual (i.e. she is keen enough to want to go for the cuppa), then let it flow from there. You should go for it ask her out and don't expect a no because that won't put you in the drivers seat. Also don't take advice from people on the internet.:rotfl::rotfl:You never know what kind of weirdos we are.:rotfl::rotfl: