Embarrassing/awkward Moments - Page 4

swamprat69er · 03-28-14, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

I hope you were in the fertilizer aisle.

I was right at the counter talking to the owner.

em2nought · 03-28-14, 05:01 PM

Both of mine involve not learning the principles of liquid transfer. after a night of drinking if about to throw up in the presence of a couple cute girls do not cover your mouth so tight with your hand that the liquid jets out the small openings between your fingers. ...and in the cafeteria in high school if someone tells a joke while you are drinking milk sometimes you can laugh so hard that milk shoots out your nose.

Red October1984 · 03-28-14, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swamprat69er

I was at the hardware/feed store a couple of years ago with the daughter in law. I eased out a fart that was absolutely silent......Wow! Did it ever stink!

Me and a really good friend of mine were stocking the same aisle in the store last week....

He THOUGHT it was me that walked behind him....so he decided to go cropdusting. And it was a completely silent one....like yours

It smelled BAD....and so did the lady who walked behind him. She had the most disgusted look on her face....leaves the aisle, turns the corner and lets out a coughing fit.

I gave him a pat on the back and a "great job, buddy" when I walked by after that.

Armistead · 03-28-14, 10:56 PM

I let a silent deadly during church one time, funny watching people try to deal with it respectfully while trying not to puke..

swamprat69er · 03-29-14, 07:53 AM

SBD's are hilarious!

Try sneaking one out while sitting on a wooden pew. Almost impossible.

Wolferz · 03-29-14, 08:05 AM

Ripped one on an elevator while it headed for the main floor. Doors opened, got out, four people got on and headed upwards with the stench. I could hear their exclamations of dismay through the doors. "OMG! Anybody have a match!?"

Red October1984 · 03-29-14, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Ripped one on an elevator while it headed for the main floor. Doors opened, got out, four people got on and headed upwards with the stench. I could hear their exclamations of dismay through the doors. "OMG! Anybody have a match!?"

At the State BETA Club convention earlier this month, somebody did that on an elevator with about 20 people on it. We were all squished in there together and suddenly everybody just, all at once, needs out. Some guy in the back cleared an elevator of 20 people. It was bad.

Wolferz · 03-29-14, 03:03 PM

A fart smells for the benefit of those who didn't hear it.

vanjast · 04-09-14, 01:48 AM

Let me have a go...

Next to my kids school there are 3 fast food joints, Nando's, MacDonalds and KFC. Every day when I pick him up he always bugs me to get a take away.
I always say no.

So one day, feeling daring, I say let's get a Big Mac - there are cheers from the crowd (1), and we 'whip' into the first drive through.

Teller: "What would you like, sir"
Me: "2 big Mac's, and two small fries, please"
Teller: "Sorry sir, we don't do big macs"
Me:"Come on, is it the wrong time of day or what - you do big Macs don't you ?"
Teller: "No sir we don't do big mac's"
Me: "Really! , may I ask why not ?"
Teller:" This is KFC, MacDonalds is next door over there"
Me: "£%^$%^$£^&$££"

My kid never stopped laughing, within hours the whole family was having a go at me.

Wolferz · 04-09-14, 07:07 AM

Quote:

This is KFC, MacDonalds is next door over there"

Who am I?
What am I
Where am I!?

Armistead · 04-09-14, 07:16 AM

I watched a cop show where the cop pulled a married couple for rolling through a stop sign. The male driver was a lil peod and the cop asked him had he been drinking, he said no. The cop got peod over the mans attitude, asked could he search the car, man gave permission. The cop found a old empty prescription bottle and they searched more, into the luggage. The cop found the couples sex toys....

I always love on cops where dumb people give permission to have their cars searched and cops pull out all sorts of drugs, guns, illegal stuff...

Red October1984 · 04-09-14, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I always love on cops where dumb people give permission to have their cars searched and cops pull out all sorts of drugs, guns, illegal stuff...

Heh. 4th Amendment buddy....learn it, live it, love it.

Tango589 · 04-09-14, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

A fart smells for the benefit of those who didn't hear it.

I was out with wife, and after a day on the beer and a curry dinner, we stopped at the convenience store by the station. My wife was queueing up to pay for our purchases whilst I was nosing round the shop. Suddenly I let the most almighty SBD go. The stench disgusted me! I took a walk outside the shop and watched the 7 or 8 people in there walk out without buying anything, commenting about 'who crapped themselves?' My wife came out, burst out laughing and said that's the first time a fart has cleared a shop!

Armistead · 04-09-14, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red October1984

Heh. 4th Amendment buddy....learn it, live it, love it.

I left NC to work in New Orleans, coming home we had a flat on the trailer. My dumb brother had took his jack out and forget to put it in. I called 911 as we were barely off the road on the highway. Cop came and called a tow guy to come change tire. It was about midnight so it took awhile. Cop started asking who were were, what we were doing, etc. Guess being from out of state. He asked could he search our truck and trailer. I reminded I called him and had nothing, but my brother let him search truck. I forgot I had my prescribed pain meds in a blank bottle cause I only carried what I needed out of town. Cop found them and got on me. His friends came and based on that they searched the trailer. They even had a drug dog come out. They went through luggage, got stuff muddy and threw a lot of equipment out, even broke one piece. I was mad as hell. I gave them my Dr.s. name, ect, but obviously still got a ticket and they took my meds.
Had to pay a lawyer $400 to deal with it.

swamprat69er · 04-09-14, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I left NC to work in New Orleans, coming home we had a flat on the trailer. My dumb brother had took his jack out and forget to put it in. I called 911 as we were barely off the road on the highway. Cop came and called a tow guy to come change tire. It was about midnight so it took awhile. Cop started asking who were were, what we were doing, etc. Guess being from out of state. He asked could he search our truck and trailer. I reminded I called him and had nothing, but my brother let him search truck. I forgot I had my prescribed pain meds in a blank bottle cause I only carried what I needed out of town. Cop found them and got on me. His friends came and based on that they searched the trailer. They even had a drug dog come out. They went through luggage, got stuff muddy and threw a lot of equipment out, even broke one piece. I was mad as hell. I gave them my Dr.s. name, ect, but obviously still got a ticket and they took my meds.
Had to pay a lawyer $400 to deal with it.

I surely hope your brother covered your lawyer costs, and he learned a lesson about cops and the 4th amendment.

03-28-14, 05:01 PM	#47
em2nought Ocean Warrior Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,485 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Both of mine involve not learning the principles of liquid transfer. after a night of drinking if about to throw up in the presence of a couple cute girls do not cover your mouth so tight with your hand that the liquid jets out the small openings between your fingers. ...and in the cafeteria in high school if someone tells a joke while you are drinking milk sometimes you can laugh so hard that milk shoots out your nose. __________________ em2nought is ecstatic garbage!

03-28-14, 10:56 PM	#49
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	I let a silent deadly during church one time, funny watching people try to deal with it respectfully while trying not to puke.. __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

03-29-14, 07:53 AM	#50
swamprat69er Aceydeucy Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Ontario,Canada Posts: 1,889 Downloads: 11 Uploads: 0	SBD's are hilarious! Try sneaking one out while sitting on a wooden pew. Almost impossible. __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. We the willing, led by the unsure, have done so much with so little, for so long, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

03-29-14, 08:05 AM	#51
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Ripped one on an elevator while it headed for the main floor. Doors opened, got out, four people got on and headed upwards with the stench. I could hear their exclamations of dismay through the doors. "OMG! Anybody have a match!?" __________________ Tomorrow never comes

03-29-14, 03:03 PM	#53
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Confucious say.... A fart smells for the benefit of those who didn't hear it. __________________ Tomorrow never comes

04-09-14, 01:48 AM	#54
vanjast Sea Lord Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somewhere else now Posts: 1,740 Downloads: 825 Uploads: 4	Let me have a go... Next to my kids school there are 3 fast food joints, Nando's, MacDonalds and KFC. Every day when I pick him up he always bugs me to get a take away. I always say no. So one day, feeling daring, I say let's get a Big Mac - there are cheers from the crowd (1), and we 'whip' into the first drive through. Teller: "What would you like, sir" Me: "2 big Mac's, and two small fries, please" Teller: "Sorry sir, we don't do big macs" Me:"Come on, is it the wrong time of day or what - you do big Macs don't you ?" Teller: "No sir we don't do big mac's" Me: "Really! , may I ask why not ?" Teller:" This is KFC, MacDonalds is next door over there" Me: "£%^$%^$£^&$££" My kid never stopped laughing, within hours the whole family was having a go at me.

04-09-14, 07:16 AM	#56
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	I watched a cop show where the cop pulled a married couple for rolling through a stop sign. The male driver was a lil peod and the cop asked him had he been drinking, he said no. The cop got peod over the mans attitude, asked could he search the car, man gave permission. The cop found a old empty prescription bottle and they searched more, into the luggage. The cop found the couples sex toys.... I always love on cops where dumb people give permission to have their cars searched and cops pull out all sorts of drugs, guns, illegal stuff... __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.