Why Jesus was an Aussie (JK)

TarJak · 12-11-10, 04:13 PM

Proof that Jesus was Australian:

He wore thongs.
He was a chippy, who like all good union members didn't work on Sundays.
His favourite past times were fishing, camping, going 4-wheel donkeying, and most of his mates were fishermen.
He seemed to know a lot of prostitutes.
His mates all had nicknames: The Rock, The Doubter, Simon Peter, The Baptist, so on and so forth.
The only time he went to church as a young bloke he got into a fight.
He was a champion surfer, it was like he could walk on water.
He did a mean barbeque, 5000 people rock up, no wuckers throw a few fresh caught fish on the barbie, some buns and a bit of mum's potato salad (it's in the Gospel of Thomas, trust me) and bob's your uncle.
No one is exactly sure where he was earning his quid from but he had a mate in the tax office so it was all sweet.
And to top it all off, he turned water into alcohol and if that isn't an Australian miracle I don't know what is!

12-11-10, 04:28 PM

You know why he wasn't born down-under?
God couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin there.

J/K Mates!!

Sailor Steve · 12-11-10, 04:32 PM

An old favorite, Jeff. I'm sorry you beat me to it.

TarJak · 12-11-10, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by privateer

You know why he wasn't born down-under?
God couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin there.

J/K Mates!!

Wow you're right! Google can't find them either: http://www.google.com.au/images?um=1...=&oq=&gs_rfai=

Sailor Steve · 12-11-10, 04:35 PM

I first heard it as a Polish joke back in the '70s. I've told it as a Utah joke ever since.

12-11-10, 04:44 PM

And all the Aussie virgin things you search for come up with
Females looking for Virgin Aussie Males.
Like there is one over several months old.

I also noticed no links to a Male Aussie looking for a virgin!
(Probably because they know looking for a winning Lottery Ticket gets faster returns?)

J/K

Platapus · 12-11-10, 06:57 PM

It can't hard to find a virgin in Australia. There has to be some women who can run faster than their brothers.

nikimcbee · 12-12-10, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

It can't hard to find a virgin in Australia. There has to be some women who can run faster than their brothers.

[insert sheep joke here]

bookworm_020 · 12-12-10, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

[insert sheep joke here]

Your mixing us up with the New Zealanders!

12-12-10, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarJak

Wow you're right! Google can't find them either

I even tried aussie wise men and got nothing.

You sure you live there?
Or should I try aussie wise arse?

TarJak · 12-13-10, 03:27 PM

Oh I live here alright. Nobody says I'm wise though.

Sailor Steve · 12-13-10, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

Your mixing us up with the New Zealanders!

Hey, people lump all us Yanks together. Why not you downunders?

TarJak · 12-14-10, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Hey, people lump all us Yanks together. Why not you downunders?

And the reason we do that is all yanks are from the same country, whereas kiwis and Australian's are not.

Now if you'd said we lumped the Canucks in there your point would have been well made.

Herr-Berbunch · 12-14-10, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarJak

Now if you'd said we lumped the Canucks in there your point would have been well made.

Are you saying that Canadians aren't American?

*ducks*

TarJak · 12-14-10, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Are you saying that Canadians aren't American?

*ducks*

Of course they are American in the sense they are from The America's, but they are not Yanks.

12-11-10, 04:13 PM	#1
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Why Jesus was an Aussie (JK) Proof that Jesus was Australian: He wore thongs. He was a chippy, who like all good union members didn't work on Sundays. His favourite past times were fishing, camping, going 4-wheel donkeying, and most of his mates were fishermen. He seemed to know a lot of prostitutes. His mates all had nicknames: The Rock, The Doubter, Simon Peter, The Baptist, so on and so forth. The only time he went to church as a young bloke he got into a fight. He was a champion surfer, it was like he could walk on water. He did a mean barbeque, 5000 people rock up, no wuckers throw a few fresh caught fish on the barbie, some buns and a bit of mum's potato salad (it's in the Gospel of Thomas, trust me) and bob's your uncle. No one is exactly sure where he was earning his quid from but he had a mate in the tax office so it was all sweet. And to top it all off, he turned water into alcohol and if that isn't an Australian miracle I don't know what is!

12-11-10, 04:32 PM	#3
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	An old favorite, Jeff. I'm sorry you beat me to it. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

12-11-10, 04:35 PM	#5
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	I first heard it as a Polish joke back in the '70s. I've told it as a Utah joke ever since. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

12-11-10, 06:57 PM	#7
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,369 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	It can't hard to find a virgin in Australia. There has to be some women who can run faster than their brothers. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-11-10, 04:28 PM	#2
Madox58 Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	You know why he wasn't born down-under? God couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin there. J/K Mates!!

12-11-10, 04:44 PM	#6
Madox58 Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	And all the Aussie virgin things you search for come up with Females looking for Virgin Aussie Males. Like there is one over several months old. I also noticed no links to a Male Aussie looking for a virgin! (Probably because they know looking for a winning Lottery Ticket gets faster returns?) J/K

12-13-10, 03:27 PM	#11
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Oh I live here alright. Nobody says I'm wise though.