3RD Patrol (BALZ)

[Brag]

Note: The whole patrol will be posted on this thread.
(smaller posts, more often)


From Lt- Schmenk's diary:

Bored. waiting for something to happen, we sat in the officers' nook- Balz played on the concertina The Balz Walz Hoochie Woochie. He'd been playing it every day since we left Cork.

"Message received," The Funker came up and handed Balz a flimsy.
Balz read it out loud. "Large convoy 70 miles SE 8 kts heading NW xx Intercept and attack." Finished reading, he said, "Schmenk, plot intercept as close as possible to this guy´s position. Don't give em time for any fiddle-doodle."
I gave the order for full speed ahead for an intercept three hours later. Before arriving, we did a sound check. The convoy had changed course to west. I had to replot. Two hours later revealed another course change by the convoy. Now it was heading south-

"If this comodore knew how annoying he is, he would be writing long letters of apology in the London Times," Balz grumbled.

The next intercept worked. We stayed at PD and waited. Balz raised the scope. "Schmenk, I'm happy to inform you that the convoy has changed course again. But never mind, I have this grosser Frachter by the short hairs anyway. Set range three thousand meters, flood tube one. Bring my bunny tea cozy."
Bernard handed the tea cozy he had been using as a coffee filter- "Want milk with it?"
Concentrating on his target put on the tea cozy and let coffee run over his ears. I wondered what would happen next.

[Jimbuna]

Bernard handed the tea cozy he had been using as a coffee filter- "Want milk with it?"

LMAO

[raymond6751]

Right !

Off you go then.

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Brag

Note: The whole patrol will be posted on this thread.
(smaller posts, more often)


From Lt- Schmenk's diary:

Bored. waiting for something to happen, we sat in the officers' nook- Balz played on the concertina The Balz Walz Hoochie Woochie. He'd been playing it every day since we left Cork.

"Message received," The Funker came up and handed Balz a flimsy.
Balz read it out loud. "Large convoy 70 miles SE 8 kts heading NW xx Intercept and attack." Finished reading, he said, "Schmenk, plot intercept as close as possible to this guy´s position. Don't give em time for any fiddle-doodle."
I gave the order for full speed ahead for an intercept three hours later. Before arriving, we did a sound check. The convoy had changed course to west. I had to replot. Two hours later revealed another course change by the convoy. Now it was heading south-

"If this comodore knew how annoying he is, he would be writing long letters of apology in the London Times," Balz grumbled.

The next intercept worked. We stayed at PD and waited. Balz raised the scope. "Schmenk, I'm happy to inform you that the convoy has changed course again. But never mind, I have this grosser Frachter by the short hairs anyway. Set range three thousand meters, flood tube one. Bring my bunny tea cozy."
Bernard handed the tea cozy he had been using as a coffee filter- "Want milk with it?"
Concentrating on his target put on the tea cozy and let coffee run over his ears. I wondered what would happen next.

If there was alcohol in tea or coffee to drink with pleasure Balz....

[papa_smurf]

Concentrating on his target put on the tea cozy and let coffee run over his ears. I wondered what would happen next.

Nothing bernards going to like.....

[Jimbuna]

Concentrating on his target put on the tea cozy and let coffee run over his ears. I wondered what would happen next.

Originally Posted by papa_smurf

Nothing bernards going to like.....

[Brag]

"Loooos," Balz bellowed. The torpedo launched and ran true. Balz ripped Bernard´s shirt off and wiped his face. "Chief take the boat down to one hundred fifty meters. I´m not wasting more torpedoes on this target. Take Bernard, raise him one meter and hang him with the bananas."

The torpedo hit its target and exploded.

"Another great example of my superior torpedoship," Balz said. "You may all pause for a minute of admiration of your superb commander." He assumed a heroic pose. After the minute was up , he continued. In Wili I was told I we get enough similar tonnage of our previous two patrols, we'll transfer to a type IX boat. The IX has better acoustics for the choir and lots of twirling space on deck." He then turned to me. "Plot another intercept . We need more tonnage from this convoy."

I got busy immediately, not realizing I was plotting my own doom.

[papa_smurf]

Take Bernard, raise him one meter and hang him with the bananas."

He fully deserves it

[Herr-Berbunch]

Originally Posted by Brag

I got busy immediately, not realizing I was plotting my own doom.

C'mon Balz, get a grip man!