13th Patrol (Balz)

[Brag]

The first officer of the U-53, Lt. Z.S. Otto Kalb writes:

June 1941

Captain Balz was in a bad mood when we left Lorient. "BDU are a bunch of bastards," he grumbled after lining up U-53 behind the Vorpostenboot escorting us out to sea. "Don't the idiots know how to count? Everyone knows this is our 13th. Patrol. They could have sent us out one day earlier or one day later. But, no--they have to send us out on the 13th! Why didn't they say, tie a black cat to the periscope for more bad luck?"
After slapping his cap on the periscope housing several times, he said, "Assemble the choir in the Zentralle and have them sing the hoochie-woochie song."

The following morning, found us steaming under sunny skies and a fresh breeze from the NW. Balz sat on the chart box next to the ladder wearing golden silk pajamas and sipping tea.
"That's a fetching outfit, Herr Kaleun," I couldn't resist in saying. "Must be the latest U-boat fashion."
"Fashion, hell! This is my survival suit."
"Huh?"
Balz gave me a glaring look. "Can you imagine a Royal Navy destroyer commander sailing out of Portsmouth looking for a guy in silk pajamas?" Balz stood, handed me his empty teacup, placed a bowler hat on his head, and climbed up the conning tower.

Kalb will keep us informed of the progress of this bad-omen patrol.

[seafarer]

:hmm: I'm told, according to ancient chinese proverbs, that 13 is one of my lucky numbers.

Think positive - and good luck.


P.S. I checked a calender for 1941 - at least you did not sail on a Friday - never, EVER sail on a Friday (the 13th or otherwise). 00:01 hours Saturday morning will be fine to slip lines, but NEVER on a Friday - EVER!

[Brag]

Kalb writes:

18 June 1941 AM5119

Balz had most of the crew jampacked in the aft crew compartment and holding choir practice. Right in the middle of Meet me in Balzimore You Hoochie Woochie, he stopped and ordered a dive to periscope depth.

The soundman reported a contact.
"Ach, ja. My great instinct works again. That is what makes me the greatest Kaleun the world has ever seen," Balz said, gesticulating like windmill. "Plot intercept then surface, I have to get dressed for the occasion.

I was on the bridge and reported the smoke smudge on the horizon. Balz appeared wearing a burgundy robe over his pajamas. He was quite a sight wearing also his bowler hat and all his medals pinned to the robe.

"Prepare to attack, gun-crew on deck, speed one third ahead, new course zero three five. Choir on deck."

We were 1200 meters from the passenger/cargo when Balz ordered the choir to sing.

"Open fire!" Balz ordered.
Five minutes later the pax/cargo was sinking as the choir sang The Ride of the Hoochie Woochies.

If this wasn't war I'd swear I was in a nuthouse.




.

[U49]

Originally Posted by Brag

Balz appeared wearing a burgundy robe over his pajamas. He was quite a sight wearing also his bowler hat and all his medals pinned to the robe.

I wonder how many more deck gun shells could have been carried (and put to use in advancing our war effort) instead of all that wardrobe stuff?

[sunvalleyslim]

With all those medals on his chest, I'm wondering how he could get up the ladder to the bridge. If he falls overboard, he'll sink like a hard hat diver...............

[andylegate]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

OMG! Please, stop! I've been laughing so hard my sides hurt and I can't breath!!!!


:rotfl:

[KeptinCranky]

Herr Kalb has forgotten to notify us of KptLt. Balz's intended destination for what will surely be another magnificent patrol. Surely the Kriegsmarine's greatest intends to seek out the most fiendishly dangerous areas just to spite the nay-sayers, doom-prophets and sundry unbelievers?

edit: argh simultaneous post :P