Dear Steve Thread

[Gerald]

Dear Steve,

My wife has been with you before and on her testimonials I'm here, (even if it sucks) to write to you when we have bad vibrations I and my wife since she now plays bass at night, according to me and my neighbors, I want to specifically say that you stop having business as it can damage your business, my lawyer will contact you when you have not cured me from not having copulation more than three times per day, most likely you will get fined 100.00 dollars in court and for contempt of court.

Previously printers, now a monk.

[Fubar2Niner]

Dear Steve.

The above post confuses the begeezus out of me, should I drink more beer, or sniff glue?

Befuddled

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Armistead

I'll keep looking, no telling where she dropped it.

You do that. Take all the time you need.

She told me not to worry, someone already found it...thanks anyway.

Glad I could be of service.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Fubar2Niner

Dear Steve.

The above post confuses the begeezus out of me, should I drink more beer, or sniff glue?

Befuddled

Dear Steve

I guess some things will always be unexplainable.

The Philosopher

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Vendor

Dear Steve,

My wife has been with you before and on her testimonials I'm here, (even if it sucks) to write to you when we have bad vibrations I and my wife since she now plays bass at night, according to me and my neighbors, I want to specifically say that you stop having business as it can damage your business, my lawyer will contact you when you have not cured me from not having copulation more than three times per day, most likely you will get fined 100.00 dollars in court and for contempt of court.

Previously printers, now a monk.

As a Doctor, I'd say find a new lawyer. As a Lawyer, I'd say find a new doctor. As for your problems, I'd say get a dog. As for myself, I'd say $100 is cheap. As for you, I'd say get lost.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Fubar2Niner

Dear Steve.

The above post confuses the begeezus out of me, should I drink more beer, or sniff glue?

Befuddled

Dear Fud,

I have it on good authority that getting out of bed in the morning confuses the begeezus out of you. By all means, drink the glue, sniff the bear and send me $100. I'll take the other guy's lawyer to lunch and have a good laugh on both of you.

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Dear Steve

I guess some things will always be unexplainable.

The Philosopher

Don't guess. Either you know or you don't. If you don't, I'll explain it to you. If you do, please explain it to me. If you're confused, please go away. I have enough of that already.

[Cybermat47]

Dear Steve,

I would like to say that you hold a very welcoming texture...a pleasure for the tips. But how can I make my dog go to school? He went to sleep 2 days ago, and hasn't woken up, and he's starting to smell! How can I make him smell better and go to school?

Sincerely,
Boris Karloff

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

As a Doctor, I'd say find a new lawyer. As a Lawyer, I'd say find a new doctor. As for your problems, I'd say get a dog. As for myself, I'd say $100 is cheap. As for you, I'd say get lost.

You are called to the meeting tomorrow at eight o'clock in the reason for not able to answer right on the simple questions, Sincerely Supreme Court,

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Cybermat47

Dear Steve,

I would like to say that you hold a very welcoming texture...a pleasure for the tips.

Watch it. I can get a restraining order, you know.

But how can I make my dog go to school? He went to sleep 2 days ago, and hasn't woken up, and he's starting to smell! How can I make him smell better and go to school?

Sincerely,
Boris Karloff

You're not fooling me, Frank. I told you green isn't your color, and the whole 'mechanoid' look went out with art deco.

As for the dog, I'm afraid you can't teach an old dog new tricks. First, give him a bath. Next, put an ad in the paper, and ask for at least $100 AU (that seems to be the going rate these days). When the guy comes to look at him, yell "Play Dead!" Trust me, the guy will be impressed.

Once you have the money, go buy a better dog. Better still, buy a fake dog. That will leave you enough to buy a fake girlfriend. For more information on that, call Dowly.

[AVGWarhawk]

Dear Steve,

Hide the salami, what does it mean and why is it necessary?

Thanks,
Sam the Butcher

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

You do that. Take all the time you need.


Glad I could be of service.

Keep up the work Dr. Steve

[Jimbuna]

Dear Steve

Why does my chair have four legs?

Inquisitive

[Fubar2Niner]

Dear Steve

Santa is stuck up the chimney and has started shouting. Apparently if I do not pull him out the girls and boys will have no toys. He says his beard is black and he has soot in his sack. He is also complaining of a nasal problem.

I have no heavy lifting gear and am somewhat alarmed at the reindeer disloging the roof tiles.

Can you recommend a good chimney sweep, (preferrably a singing sweep, ala Mary Poppins) and a cowboy to round up said reindeer.

Help me Steve, you're my only hope.................

(fades to insignifignance)

Concerned

[yubba]

Dear Steve,
I have had the flu, and have fallen down and got a concussion who am I and can I get a note too excuse me from testifying in front of congress. And if Uncle Joe is going to lead the task force against gun violence will they be armed.?????