2015 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

Gut Wrench · 08-30-15, 06:26 PM

2015 Subsim Fantasy Football
...are your balls big enough?

Here we go again fans. It's late August and the new Commissioner of the Subsim Fantasy Football league is asking if you've got enough inflated balls to last sixteen weeks? Do you have what it takes to pass on the 1 yard line, and do you have the audacity to stick around long enough to win the Torpedo Bowl in the last two minutes of Monday night?

If that sounds like your type of pretend football, then you're our type of pretend coach, as once again, we kick off the longest season of the year, talking smack about people who should have but didn't, and wondering why people who shouldn't have, did. Stand by folks, it's the 2015 Subsim Fantasy Football League.

But before we do anything else, here's the most important message you will hear this week.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

On with the Fantasy Football show.

This year we have a new Interim Commissioner, some guy from Australia that talks with a funny accent. It's our first international Commissioner, coming two years after the Helmand Nighthawks became the first international team to take the Torpedo Bowl out of the continuous states. We welcome Commissioner Pioneer, and bid Commissioner McBee some well earned "bed rest" in the Emperor's Room at Ceasers Palace where he will be reviewing next years league with the Playboy Bunnies.

Let's talk about what we know, and what we didn't know. Last year, the most unlikely team came from no where in the final two minutes of Monday Night to win the 2014 Subsim Fantasy Football League, Coach FYC and the Black Cats. The Cats are back again this year, not just wimpy pussies but clawing their Torpedo Bowl trophy. We have six returning teams to the league this year, not unexpected given the new Commissioner's lack of record.

"Screw you guys," the media reports Commissioner Pioneer as stating. "This is an elite league, not every Captain can join."

Indeed, over the years we've had one off appearances, such as Tarjack and Co, also from Australia, who to this day still gets talked about his first round draft choice of he 49ers defense. Any Captain from Subsim can still join prior to draft day.

And let's talk about draft day. Draft Day for the Subsim Fantasy Football League is a week away, scheduled for 1000 Saturday September 5 2015. The location of the draft has been announced, and this year Commissioner Pioneer is taking us to, the Fontaineblue Hotel, Miami Beach, Florida.

This location was originally "scoped" out by Commissioner McBee, and given the late appointment by Pioneer, he just wrote a check from a Clinton Foundation donation and booked out the hotel.

The venue is booked, the teams are coming, the girls will be available, and no one has to spend a cent thanks to the generosity of the league. Sounds like a good time to be had, as once again, we go through sixteen of the most frustrating weeks of the year, in the race to the 2015 Torpedo Bowl.

08-30-15, 06:26 PM	#1
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	2015 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports 2015 Subsim Fantasy Football ...are your balls big enough? Here we go again fans. It's late August and the new Commissioner of the Subsim Fantasy Football league is asking if you've got enough inflated balls to last sixteen weeks? Do you have what it takes to pass on the 1 yard line, and do you have the audacity to stick around long enough to win the Torpedo Bowl in the last two minutes of Monday night? If that sounds like your type of pretend football, then you're our type of pretend coach, as once again, we kick off the longest season of the year, talking smack about people who should have but didn't, and wondering why people who shouldn't have, did. Stand by folks, it's the 2015 Subsim Fantasy Football League. But before we do anything else, here's the most important message you will hear this week. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. On with the Fantasy Football show. This year we have a new Interim Commissioner, some guy from Australia that talks with a funny accent. It's our first international Commissioner, coming two years after the Helmand Nighthawks became the first international team to take the Torpedo Bowl out of the continuous states. We welcome Commissioner Pioneer, and bid Commissioner McBee some well earned "bed rest" in the Emperor's Room at Ceasers Palace where he will be reviewing next years league with the Playboy Bunnies. Let's talk about what we know, and what we didn't know. Last year, the most unlikely team came from no where in the final two minutes of Monday Night to win the 2014 Subsim Fantasy Football League, Coach FYC and the Black Cats. The Cats are back again this year, not just wimpy pussies but clawing their Torpedo Bowl trophy. We have six returning teams to the league this year, not unexpected given the new Commissioner's lack of record. "Screw you guys," the media reports Commissioner Pioneer as stating. "This is an elite league, not every Captain can join." Indeed, over the years we've had one off appearances, such as Tarjack and Co, also from Australia, who to this day still gets talked about his first round draft choice of he 49ers defense. Any Captain from Subsim can still join prior to draft day. And let's talk about draft day. Draft Day for the Subsim Fantasy Football League is a week away, scheduled for 1000 Saturday September 5 2015. The location of the draft has been announced, and this year Commissioner Pioneer is taking us to, the Fontaineblue Hotel, Miami Beach, Florida. This location was originally "scoped" out by Commissioner McBee, and given the late appointment by Pioneer, he just wrote a check from a Clinton Foundation donation and booked out the hotel. The venue is booked, the teams are coming, the girls will be available, and no one has to spend a cent thanks to the generosity of the league. Sounds like a good time to be had, as once again, we go through sixteen of the most frustrating weeks of the year, in the race to the 2015 Torpedo Bowl.