Duffleblog: 72 Black-Eyed Virgins Still Waiting To Give It Up

Ducimus · 02-22-14, 11:59 AM

http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/01/72-virgins/

Too funny.

nikimcbee · 02-22-14, 12:06 PM

I defer to family guy.

GT182 · 02-22-14, 04:37 PM

But little do these hori know that the 72 virgins promised these lads of premature detonation are all male. They're waiting for some moron that will never show up because he's now gay.

Wolferz · 02-23-14, 08:46 AM

Achmed was so surprised when he reached paradise and saw his virgins that he just went to pieces....again.

Ahh. Nubian. We got lots of that.

Sailor Steve · 02-23-14, 10:14 AM

As someone else pointed out long ago, they have it completely wrong. It's not 72 virgins, it's one 72-year-old virgin.

fireftr18 · 02-23-14, 10:20 AM

I saw a political cartoon once. The 72 virgins were all grumpy old nuns.

Sailor Steve · 02-23-14, 10:23 AM

And then there's the joke: Osama Bin Laden gets to paradise and is greeted by George Washington, who punches him in the face. Next is Thomas Jefferson, who does the same. The comes James Madison, Patrick Henry, James Monroe...

Osama finally gets to see Allah and demands an explanation. Allah says "Didn't you read the text? I said you'd be greeted by seventy-two Virginians..."

Aktungbby · 02-23-14, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Achmed was so surprised when he reached paradise and saw his virgins that he just went to pieces....again.

Ahh. Nubian. We got lots of that.

Wrong thread old pard'; should be "Goats you think are beautiful"!

Jimbuna · 02-23-14, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

And then there's the joke: Osama Bin Laden gets to paradise and is greeted by George Washington, who punches him in the face. Next is Thomas Jefferson, who does the same. The comes James Madison, Patrick Henry, James Monroe...

Osama finally gets to see Allah and demands an explanation. Allah says "Didn't you read the text? I said you'd be greeted by seventy-two Virginians..."

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you, idiot. What did you think I said?"

Cybermat47 · 02-23-14, 04:56 PM

EDIT: Post edited due to heavily opiniated and potentially offensive statements. If you really want to see what I said, see the quote below.

Red October1984 · 02-23-14, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybermat47

Still, Islam heaven sounds better than Christian heaven, where all you do is worship the stuck-up egotistical God who's torturing all the holocaust victims, still-born infants, and anyone who didn't know about or believe in him

But then again, that God will have wiped your memories, so it doesn't matter

There's an opinionated statement....but okay. Believe what you want.

DuffelBlog is the best. They've got some good articles. Definitely a reliable source.

Cybermat47 · 02-23-14, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red October1984

There's an opinionated statement....but okay. Believe what you want.

Sorry that it was opiniated and offensive. I get carried away sometimes

And you can believe whatever you want. I won't mind

And I'll try to stay more open-minded in the future.

Anyway, back on topic...

If you're a good Muslim, then you can get your 72 virgins. If you're a bad Muslim and you willingly suicide-bomb people, I hope you get herpes in heaven

Sailor Steve · 02-23-14, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybermat47

I hope you get herpes in heaven

Gotta love a good alliteration.

I'm hoping they get a heaping helping of herpes in heaven too.

Stealhead · 02-23-14, 10:36 PM

Well in one idea of heaven you want for nothing because you are next to God but you got there by follow his laws.In the Islamic idea you get rewarded by God(the same exact God interestingly) for following all of his laws.

I think the Islamic version makes perfect considering where it originated and the situation at hand.Mohammad wanted to take over a city that he had valuable trade Mecca out of and he was well out numbered so what to do? Convince your followers that you are prophet of God (the only one) and promise them a fairly nice reward in "paradise" should they die in battle.Obviously he was pretty convincing because Mohammad and his boys the whole city of Mecca was supposedly full of pagans interestingly enough.

This little war took a long time so you have to convince your follows to be war like which is why Islam is all about submission to Gods will(or what ever Mohammad said was God's will).

The whole thing is a lousy translation about the virgin women.

It is one woman full breasted maiden of equal age and a cup full to the brim.

I doubt for the ones actually doing the fighting any convincing is needed they either come from a madrass which has brain washed them (think Hitler Youth) or they come from utter squalor.The leadership are the ones that went to college and are educated.

It is kind of funny I suppose but not so much once you realize that they actually do not think they 'll get 72 virgins.

One thing I dislike about religion in general is that they can all be skewed to get people to do things.Hate,kill,fight wars.

Red October1984 · 02-24-14, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybermat47

Sorry that it was opiniated and offensive. I get carried away sometimes

And you can believe whatever you want. I won't mind

And I'll try to stay more open-minded in the future.

Wasn't trying to shoot you down...but just clearing things up.

EDIT: While there are some sore subjects with me, it takes quite a lot to offend me otherwise. I was not offended by this. No worries.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Gotta love a good alliteration.

I'm hoping they get a heaping helping of herpes in heaven too.

AVOID ALLITERATION ALWAYS!

Every good grammar student knows that.

02-22-14, 11:59 AM	#1
Ducimus Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,987 Downloads: 67 Uploads: 2	Duffleblog: 72 Black-Eyed Virgins Still Waiting To Give It Up http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/01/72-virgins/ Too funny.

02-22-14, 12:06 PM	#2
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	I defer to family guy. __________________

02-22-14, 04:37 PM	#3
GT182 Ocean Warrior Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Castle of Delaware Posts: 3,231 Downloads: 658 Uploads: 0	But little do these hori know that the 72 virgins promised these lads of premature detonation are all male. They're waiting for some moron that will never show up because he's now gay. __________________ Gary No Borders, No Language, No Culture =s No Country I'm a Deplorable, and proud of it.

02-23-14, 08:46 AM	#4
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Achmed was so surprised when he reached paradise and saw his virgins that he just went to pieces....again. Ahh. Nubian. We got lots of that. __________________ Tomorrow never comes

02-23-14, 10:14 AM	#5
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	As someone else pointed out long ago, they have it completely wrong. It's not 72 virgins, it's one 72-year-old virgin. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

02-23-14, 10:20 AM	#6
fireftr18 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Kentucky Posts: 2,528 Downloads: 77 Uploads: 0	I saw a political cartoon once. The 72 virgins were all grumpy old nuns. __________________ Of all the forms of Martial Arts, Karaoke causes the most pain!

02-23-14, 10:23 AM	#7
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	And then there's the joke: Osama Bin Laden gets to paradise and is greeted by George Washington, who punches him in the face. Next is Thomas Jefferson, who does the same. The comes James Madison, Patrick Henry, James Monroe... Osama finally gets to see Allah and demands an explanation. Allah says "Didn't you read the text? I said you'd be greeted by seventy-two Virginians..." __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo Last edited by Sailor Steve; 02-23-14 at 12:19 PM.

02-23-14, 04:56 PM	#10
Cybermat47 Willing Webfooted Beast Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 5,408 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 23	EDIT: Post edited due to heavily opiniated and potentially offensive statements. If you really want to see what I said, see the quote below. __________________ Historical TWoS Gameplay Guide: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2572620 Historical FotRSU Gameplay Guide: https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/sho....php?p=2713394 Last edited by Cybermat47; 02-23-14 at 05:07 PM.

02-23-14, 10:36 PM	#14
Stealhead Navy Seal Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Kentucky Posts: 5,421 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Well in one idea of heaven you want for nothing because you are next to God but you got there by follow his laws.In the Islamic idea you get rewarded by God(the same exact God interestingly) for following all of his laws. I think the Islamic version makes perfect considering where it originated and the situation at hand.Mohammad wanted to take over a city that he had valuable trade Mecca out of and he was well out numbered so what to do? Convince your followers that you are prophet of God (the only one) and promise them a fairly nice reward in "paradise" should they die in battle.Obviously he was pretty convincing because Mohammad and his boys the whole city of Mecca was supposedly full of pagans interestingly enough. This little war took a long time so you have to convince your follows to be war like which is why Islam is all about submission to Gods will(or what ever Mohammad said was God's will). The whole thing is a lousy translation about the virgin women. It is one woman full breasted maiden of equal age and a cup full to the brim. I doubt for the ones actually doing the fighting any convincing is needed they either come from a madrass which has brain washed them (think Hitler Youth) or they come from utter squalor.The leadership are the ones that went to college and are educated. It is kind of funny I suppose but not so much once you realize that they actually do not think they 'll get 72 virgins. One thing I dislike about religion in general is that they can all be skewed to get people to do things.Hate,kill,fight wars.